Day 27: Couch Search

I'm searching for a new couch. I'm ready to give up.

I thought I found one today, but I didn't. Grabbed a guy friend to go check it out with me (for safety purposes... who knows who owns these things on craigslist) and the freakin people lied about the condition it was in. My mom even came to help me get it home in her utility trailer, but no dice. She came all that way for nothin.

Oh well... I went to dinner with my mom and my guy friend and that was fun. We found some lil Mexican food joint nearby and it was so fun experiencing my mom talking to random strangers and my friend speaking fluent spanish. The cooks rolled their eyes when my mom spoke and then beamed from ear to ear when my friend rattled off something to them about what he wanted in their own language.

I love the many cultures in America!

Day 26: Happy

I love my church.
I love my family.
I'm thankful for men who step in and take charge when there is a need.
I'm thankful for women who are temperate and self-controlled, filled with love and purity.

I'm thankful that I have happiness and so much, when I am aware that I could've had a very different life.

Day 25: Leadership

Going through my day today I've had a few thoughts about leadership.

This sums it up nicely:

The leader can never close the gap between himself and the group. If he does, he is no longer what he must be. He must walk a tightrope between the consent he must win and the control he must exert.
Vince Lombardi

A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.
John C. Maxwell

Day 24: Home Church

I went to bed at 4am and woke up at 11. Good thing I had a pot of french press at the ready.

Every Sunday my roommates and I host our Home Church at our house and we love it. I love watching my friends and family grow and change as we all wrestle with God over different things and draw closer to one another.

I hung out with my youngest sister tonight. I am obsessed with her. Everything about her.

It's so wonderful to grow up and realize God gave me some of the best girlfriends I'll ever have, right in my sisters that I grew up with.

As life changed, so did we... all differently, similarly and compatibly. We have an understanding of each other's history and struggles that no one else does and we have the ability to comfort and encourage one another as well.

I love my sisters. I love my youngest sister. I am thankful for the blessing of family.

Day 23: Coming out of a Slump

Sometimes you gotta step back from everything that is normal in your life and see what you want to do now, not just what you've always done.

For years I've spent multiple days of my week investing in the men and women in my life, going to coffee dates and loving every bit of it. A few months ago I decided to remove myself from the normal way I do things and see what stuff I've always done by habit is actually what I want to do by choice at this point in my life.

I stopped going on coffee dates and investing so much of myself in others. It was a good break to relax and recharge my batteries, but a couple weeks ago I felt the desire to start investing and connecting with the people in my life again.

Today was a record quality time day in the scope of the last few months. I loved every second. I had breakfast with a friend, stopped by a coffee shop, met another friend for lunch, did another friend's hair, hung out with my sisters, made dinner and watched a movie with my old roommates, headed to a movie with a bunch of friends late at night and went back to my sister's house to smoke hookah and sip tea until 4am.

I went home and realized I didn't have a "peopled out" feeling like I would've a few months ago after a long day like this.

My break was good. Now I'm looking forward to getting connected again.

For everything there is a time and a season...

Day 22: Nevada Day

I found out yesterday that I had today off work.

I'm absent minded sometimes with holidays, so my coworkers make sure I know I don't have to come into work when they happen now and then.

Today I spent my morning sleeping in and my afternoon with a lovely friend. She and I went to lunch, chatted and caught up after not seeing each other for a few months and then visited World Market for some much needed shop therapy. I walked out with only one thing, but man did I want to buy everything in that store.

I headed home after World Market and decided to buy some groceries and cook my roommates dinner. What a lovely night it ended up being. We laughed and talked and caught up on our weeks and how we were doing.

I'm so grateful for such wonderful women to share life with.

Day 21: Masquerade Ball

Tonight I went to a masquerade ball.

First I got off work, had a coworker help jump my car battery, went to Savers and found a dress to wear and then had my roommate come rescue me from the parking lot where my car died again (boxed in by other cars so I couldn't even jump it).

Eventually I made it home and changed and got gussied up and then headed to Mambo's nightclub which is a pretty large latin nightclub.

The night was so fun. Six girlfriends and I went and learned some latin dances, danced with some hispanic men and I particularly had a blast learning the "real deal" from an older, mildly creepy, man who knew how to teach most of the dances.

What a fun night with my girlfriends! Happy Halloween to us.

Day 20: Ellie's Birth Video

A few days ago I had the privilege of trying out some new photography skills and taking photographs of the physical, emotional journey my sister and her husband went through during the birth of their second daughter, Ellie.

I finished the video and shared it with my sister today. She was so amazed at what Ellie's birth looked like through my eyes. My sister used Hypnobabies hypnobirthing techniques for her laboring, so it was quite a bit more peaceful than I'd expected.

Immediately after seeing the video, she wanted it shared with the world. What a great compliment that was to me.

So... here is my first birth photography video. I hope there will be more in the future, because I truly fell in love with it.

https://vimeo.com/52093202

Enjoy!

Day 19: Community Family

I attend a home church in my area. It's wonderful. Everything that I always wanted to believe church could be... and more.

Tonight one of the men in our group tackled a subject that has been very miscommunicated and left a lot of people with hurt feelings in the past.

I was so impressed how he approached the subject, and his sincerity in wanting to communicate with clarity. His humility and wisdom in approaching it the way he did, paved the way for conversation with grace and understanding, rather than anxiety and defensiveness. In the end, our group was closer than ever.

I often find myself amazed at the caliber of men that I am surrounded by. I am thankful for nights tonight where I am reminded of what a blessing they are.

Good leaders are hard to come by. I am surrounded by great ones.

Day 18: Discover People

“All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them.”
Galileo

I sat and talked for three hours with a new friend. It was one of those conversations that you walk away from wondering where the time went, because you enjoy the person so much!

While we talked, I realized that discovering more about my new friend was the reason I was enjoying the conversation so much.

Deep questions were followed by answers that stunned me in their sincerity and my friend's natural, easy going response.

What a pleasure it is to discover in someone a genuine, compassionate, honest soul that's filled with a desire for something more in life... and the ability to recognize it when it arrives.

Day 17: Change

I love change. I love the newness and excitement that it brings.

When it is handled with wisdom, transition is so suspenseful; filled with the unknown and risk that makes life exciting.

I am thankful God puts men in leadership positions who are willing to grow, learn and change with the needs of each new day.

Day 16: Fanciness

Birthdays are a big deal in my circle of friends. Well, girl birthdays, that is.

I'm sure most of my guy friends would prefer a birthday at the bar with shots to commemorate the passing of their year.

Tonight was fanciness for a girlfriend and it was just perfect.

Day 15: Ellie Leia's Birthday

1:04am: Got the call
1:35am: Arrived at the house
1:57am:
Hope: "That's a good laboring outfit, Autumn!"
Joy: "Ya you did the sexy outfit already (9months ago). That's how you got yourself here."
2:55am:
Autumn: "Ellie has hiccups."
3:02am:
Autumn: "Joy still doesn't believe there's a baby in here..."
Joy: "I'm just saying... it's taking awhile. Are you sure it's not just indigestion?"
3:10am: Called midwife to notify we were going to the hospital.
3:44am: Leavin for the hospital. Luke can't stop smiling.
4:24am: Hardcore hypnobirthing starts in the hospital room.
5:04am: Autumn asks me to sing to her while she's laboring in the shower. Such a precious moment.
6:02am: Ellie Leia is born!!! What a miracle.

Day 14: Modesty

Me and my roommates got in a conversation about modesty tonight. It was enlightening and good learning more about one another and our many viewpoints.

I have realized that so much of what every woman considers "modest" depends on her upbringing and the standard she was given.

I loved some quotes I found about modesty tonight:

Modesty is the only sure bait when you angle for praise.
Lord Chesterfield

Modesty seldom resides in a breast that is not enriched with nobler virtues.
Oliver Goldsmith

We must watch over our modesty in the presence of those who cannot understand its grounds.
Jean Rostand

Day 13: Half Marathon Training

Tonight my twin and a friend decided we will be training for a half marathon that we'd like to run in the spring.

No idea what that looks like, but it's a good goal to encourage us to stay active and work out even through the winter months. After all, I only started running 10 months ago.

The most I've ever run is six miles straight, so I'm excited to see how much further I can push myself and what the change will look like in eating habits, physical prowess (oooh I like that word) and discipline while training.

I have friends who train for marathons and they say its hell. What the crap are we doing?

Here we goooo!

Day 12: Double Standards

It was good for me to be reminded tonight that men feel insecurity as much as women.

It can't be a double standard. If men are considered by women to be lust crazed loons if they mention how hott a girl is to another guy, then one would assume women would not mention physical features of men in a similar way and expect the men to still refrain from such speech.

How hypocritical.

If we women ask -or require- the men in our lives to behave a certain way because it bothers us, it should be widely understood that we will be carrying ourselves in the same manner or avoiding the same topics of conversation. They can just as easily promote insecurity and comparison in a man's life and heart, as it does in a woman's.

Day 11: Statham Date

I love Jason Statham movies. Ever since I watched the Transporter many years ago, I've gotten so excited about any new movie he stars in.

Yes, this is a crush. My one celebrity crush is the most intense, crazy fighter on TV. He is so impressive.

Luckily, I don't exactly have to force my guy friends to watch his movies with me when another one comes out.

One friend and I have regular "Statham Dates" while curled up on the couch, gasping at all Statham's martial arts, kick-butt prowess. It really doesn't get much better than Statham Dates.

Tonight was one of those nights. Laughter, impressive fight scenes and quality time with a great friend.

Day 10: Apple Hill

It's a yearly tradition for my group of friends to head to Apple Hill every fall. It's a gorgeous little group of farms that span a hillside and they sell their fruits and veggies to tourists and visitors.

It's quite the event, and this year was one of the best, most relaxing days I've had in a long time.

I got to talk with my twin sister all the way there, for two and a half hours! We were a bit giggly when we found out we'd get so much quality time with each other. That doesn't happen very often.

The farms were beautiful, the scenery was breathtaking and I didn't want to leave the forest glens with their deep shadows and sunbeams shining through.

Day 9: Harmony

Tonight my sister sang at an open mic night with a friend of ours. They sung at a little coffee shop called Waldens. I have spent so many hours at that little place.

Don't you love the little environments that seem to hold a part of the history of your life?

My sister sang beautifully, soaring into melodies from the Civil Wars and our friend who sang with her did such a good job. They were quite the duet.

Day 8: Read and Relax

Today I read so much fiction. I loved every luxurious minute.

When I was 4 years old, my mom taught me to read. For every word I read, she would would give me a skittle. That didn't last past the first week, since eventually I was devouring books as if they held the treasures of Atlantis. My love for books carried on through my childhood and adulthood.

Although I love reading, these days I rarely find the time to escape into a good book. My problem is that I'm singularly minded to the storyline when I start it. Stopping to sleep or work when I dont know the ending of a book is so frustrating for me! It's like stopping a movie halfway through.

This year I've discovered the Kindle app on my iPhone. I've downloaded so many free books. I am so excited to get lost in fantasy, fiction and true stories about life, love, Christ and adventure this winter on my free time.

Me time equals book time...

Day 7: Love Strongly

A beautiful thought for today...

“Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow, but this same necessity of loving serves to counteract their grief and heals them.”
― Leo Tolstoy

Day 6: Journaling or Avoiding?

Recently I had a revelation, when I bought a new journal.

I was writing and a friend asked me how long I'd been journaling for. I said I'd stopped journaling years ago and recently started again. When he asked what made me start journaling again, I didn't know... I'd never considered the catalyst to my yo-yo journaling over the years.

For about five years of my young adult life I journaled pretty much nonstop. Probably from about ages 19-24. Then I stopped. I entered a new phase of life where I was surrounded by people who gave me a reason to leave my internalized journaling world where i didnt have to be vulnerable with people, and enter the verbal communication world of hard, healthy relationships that are very rewarding.

It took me a few minutes of chatting with my friend about this for me to figure it out, but I'm thankful for his insightful questions. They prompted me to learn something new about myself.

I am a verbal processor, yes. But when I'm at a place in life where I don't have safe people around me that I can be honest and vulnerable with -or I am avoiding hard conversations- I process by journaling. It's my way of getting everything out and clarifying my thoughts with no risky relational stuff. Not bad in and of itself, but if my journaling ever became the only place where I could be honest and vulnerable, much like those younger years of my life, there would be something wrong.

Yes, there are very therapeutic, benefits to journaling... Especially for people who are truly internal processors, but for this verbal processor, it can become unhealthy.

No, I will not be forgoing journaling.

Yes, I plan to indulge in the simple, pure romanticism of sitting down with a cup of French press on a Saturday morning and setting down a few pages of thoughts into my journal... but only because now I see it as the reward of an already very good communication stream. A way to unwind rather than avoid.

Life is all about lessons... this one was worth sharing.

Day 5: Goodbye, Childhood Home

Today I moved my parents out of the home they lived in for 17yrs. All six of us kids were raised in that house. So little space but so much love and memories. All 1200 feet of it was filled with six kids, two adults and a handful of neighbor kids.

We homeschooled there, grew up there, had our first broken hearts there, and got through it all for the better.

Those walls hold sister secrets, family love and they sure do muffle chaotic screaming matches well, too. We didn't always love each other... ;0)

My parents are getting a place more their size for their later years in life. Mom wants somewhere with room for grand babies, dad wants room for more hunting gear and we all just want them to be financially secure and happy. Hopefully the new home will be that for them.

For now, though... well, I'm having a hard time with all the memories flooding through my mind. Rope swings and water balloon wars, forts in the living room and slumber parties on the living room floor.

I am grateful for parents who provided me with a roof over my head and a safe place to create a lifetime of memories to build upon for my own family someday.

I will miss that old house...

Day 4: An afternoon Off

Today I got off work at noon. I had so much productivity planned and then it all dissolved when some plans changed.

Isn't it funny how God orchestrates our time sometimes? Like our plan is good but his is better.

I ended up spending the entire day with my roommates laughing, talking, cooking, shopping, decorating and catching up on TV shows.

Days this good always seem to happen organically... no planning needed. Thats weird for a planner like me! I like to hold on to my plans, so it's good for me to learn to go with the flow when God directs my use of time in a different direction.

Lesson learned! His idea of a good afternoon off is much better than mine!

Day 3: A New Home

About two months ago I moved out of a home that I lived in with five other girls that I adore, to start another home with three other girls that I equally adore.

I forgot how hard it is to embark on a new journey.

It has taken two months for me to settle into new daily routines, new relationship dynamics and feel at home in a place with new roommates and a new "feel".

I love the girls I live with and I know they love me too. It has taken us two long, hard, lonely months to get to a place of security in our relationships with each other, and it did not come easy.

The best things in life are never easy to come by... you have to fight for them everyday.

Tonight we asked two of our guy friends to come pray over our new home. They prayed blessings over us and our house and admonished us to be watchful for disunity and division in our relationships with one another.

It was a pretty special experience and we roommates walked away from it with joy and peace about the path God has us on.

We feel united. We are ready to fight for our home and each other.

I am grateful for renewed strength.

"The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." James 5:16

Day 2: Dance the Night away

Tonight my twin sister and I were thrown a belated bday party by a bunch of our closest friends.

We showed up at a friend's home and it had been turned into dinner service for 30. Beautiful tables were covered in crystal dinner sets and pretty glasses with sparkly drinks filled the room.

How special it was to be so extravagantly spoiled!

Our friend started the meal by thanking everyone for coming to celebrate us and show us just how much we mean to the people in our lives.

We danced the night away, courtesy of another friend with amazing DJ skills, and ended the night curled up under blankets in the backyard, around a warm fire.

Tonight I was sure with every fiber in my being that I am loved and valued by the men and women in my life.

Tonight's party was an act of love. Pure and joyful and happy. What perfect birthday gift!

Day 1: My 29th Year Begins

I turned 29 yesterday. Along with turning 29 came having to answer the following question a ridiculous amount of times:

"How do you feel?"

Omigosh, It's like the world is expecting me to have a meltdown because I'm one year from the dreaded 30th bday.

My 20s won't be that hard to let go of... at least right now it doesn't seem like that.

I love my friends and family and I've been blessed with a life so exciting and adventurous that many women spend their lives reading books to vicariously experience the places I've been able to visit, exotic foods I've eaten and wonderful friendships I've enjoyed.

You can't have a meltdown when your heart is overflowing with gratitude at what you've got.

My life is filled with wondrous treasures... and I am going to spend my 29th year enjoying every one of them... and keeping an eye out for the ones I probably take for granted.

Life is fragile...
People are beautiful...
Relationships are hard...
and God has a perfect plan!

For the next year, until the day I turn 30, I'm sharing my treasures and documenting my joy.