damsel in distress

i often wonder why God has always provided for my transportation needs in the form of clunker cars. but then around the time i get to wondering that, he likes to remind me with little things every now and then, why he does so.

this morning started out with an adventure when my car battery died at a stoplight on the freeway offramp near my work.

now, although my car is an adventure that i love experiencing, it doesn't mean i dont have those moments of silent panic and then prayer when my car dies in the middle of an intersection, with traffic behind me.

this morning, my silent - and feminine - prayer to heaven went kinda like this:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! (that was the feminine part) Jesus, i dont know what to do. please have it start again!!!

i tried to start it again, to no avail. my battery was dead. can't have someone jump my car in the middle of the road, that's for sure.

okay, okay... what would dad do if he were here? put your emergency lights on. okay... done. now what? direct the traffic behind you to go around.

i got out of my car and signaled the cars behind me to go around, and got back in my car, gripping the steering wheel as if my desperation alone would turn the car back on.

calm down, hope. take a deep breath... you've dealt with worse than this, before. granted... not in rush hour traffic on an offramp, but still! now, what is the next step? the car wont turn over, and there is no one around to rescue you... except maybe that guy!

i watched as a big burly harley davidson-clad man walked across the crosswalk in front of me. i visually measured up his size and breathed a sigh of relief as i thought surely, he is on his way to help me... i am obviously a damsel in distress, here.

not so much.

icky harley dude just leered at me from across the intersection, as i got out of my car. when i saw the look in his eyes, i got right back in my car. the light went green, and i got an idea.

i put my car in neutral, took a deep breath, and put my shoulder into the driver's side door while steering the car and pushing it with all my might. holy CRAP, lil redhottness is HEAVY!!

you would think by now that harley dude would stop leering and help, but no no, my friends... he just stood there... five feet away from a woman pushing her car through an intersection, and just watched me do it.

i sent up a silent prayer as i saw that the parking lot of the walgreens that i was heading towards had a significant increase in elevation, and there was no way i'd be able to push my car up it. you'd think pushing a smaller car would be easy, but it's not.

i saw a blur of movement to my left, and watched a young man dash across four lanes of traffic towards me. he yelled at me to get in my car and steer, and with what i can only describe as heroic strength, pushed me and my car up the incline and into the walgreens parking lot.

i put my car in park and got out, and the first words out of my adrenaline-crazed hero's mouth, echoed my own thoughts from moments before...

"what the hell was that guy doing, just WATCHING you push your car across the intersection? GOD... I'M SO SORRY!! are you okay?!"

although sufficiently out of breath, i was touched by his unneeded apology on behalf of harley dude. i smiled and assured him i was fine. "thank you so much for rescuing me... i didnt know how i was going to push it up that incline!" i gestured back at the entrance to the parking lot.

he smiled as if he knew just how big that 3 inch rise was, when pushing a car and its driver up it. he put his hands on his hips and quickly looked behind him. an empty truck was parked on the side of the road, half a block away. i realized his concern, as he stuck his hand in his pocket, taking out the keys to his truck. "glad to help... are you good?"

"yeah, totally... i've got it from here. THANK YOU!"

"no problem!" ... he waved in my direction as he darted across the four lanes of traffic back to his abandoned vehicle. i glanced across the intersection, from him jumping in his truck, and driving in the direction of the fading figure of harley dude, walking towards downtown reno.

i like to imagine that he was going to give him a piece of his mind...

so, there's my adventure for the morning.

i met man this morning, and what a man he was!

"If we are strong, our strength will speak for itself. If we are weak, words will be of no help." - John Fitzgerald Kennedy

birthday surprise... kenyan style

MVI_0601
Originally uploaded by hopiface

i found this video in my africa archives (can they be archives if it was only a few months ago?) and i thought you all would enjoy seeing a birthday surprise, kenyan style.

mike christensen's wife manon planned a huge surprise party and dinner for him while i was there, and the kids all gathered at the back of the house while he came around the corner, not knowing what awaited him.

anytime anyone was celebrated in kenya while i was there, there was singing and dancing involved... as you can see.

the day ended in laughter and food and fun and games with all the kiddos...

tubing the truckee with umbrella sails

my sister autumn and i are - to say the least - a bit spunky. seldom when we get together, are we doing anything the normal, or obvious, way it should be done. yesterday was no exception.

it has been extremely hot in reno the last couple weeks, and our group of friends have gone tubing a couple times to ease the heat. despite sunscorched flesh and heat exhaustion from being outdoors, it makes the heat a little more bearable if you're in the water and going on an adventure.

yesterday autumn and i wanted to go on the tubing trip down the truckee river, so i checked all three sports authority stores in reno, and of course walmart... not a single store had river tubes.

it was a tragedy.

i called autumn and notified her we would not be able to go down the river. i went home and moped on my couch for a couple minutes, and then got a brilliant idea. i ran to my garage and hauled my huge double inflation, queen sized ozark mattress into my living room. five minutes later, thanks to my electric hand pump, it was filling my livingroom floor.

it was a go!! i called autumn and informed her i was going downt he river on my mattress with or without her. she loved the idea too, so she headed over. i didnt want to be sunburned very bad, so i put on sunscreen and got out my umbrella around the same time autumn showed up with the exact same thing.

a while later and we were headed to the river with our friends, trying to figure out the best way to haul our huge mattress through my neighborhood and to the river's edge. we succeeded, and were soon on our way down the truckee.

it was soon evident that our floating party of seven was not going to stay together. autumn and i were whizzing by them all, as we realized our umbrellas doubled as not only sun shade, but wind sails as well. when people stood up to walk their tubes over the shallow riverbed with rocks and all, our durable ozark mattress just skimmed over the top of em.

many women stared in envy at our floating mattress of relaxation, and our shaded faces as we just floated along when there was no wind... and we could tell many of the men we passed wished there was a way to copy us and not lose their man cards by taking an umbrella out on the river with them.

our friends soon became envious of our speed or travel, and after they caught up to us, they had a blast hooking their legs over our mattress to be carried along with us. tragically, my sister faith ended up kicking open the air hole on the mattress when she threw her legs over, and i couldnt get to it quickly enough to stop a large amount of air from exiting our party float.

it was humbling to stand in the middle of the river trying to inflate our mattress manually, while all the people we passed floated by. it became quite the spectator sport as i yelled sassy comments at my sister faith who had stolen my umbrella by this time, and the other tubers on the river laughed out loud at the fiest happening in the middle of the river.

eventually we got a bit more air in it, and caught up with faith to retrieve my umbrella/wind sail. away we went, on half the air we started with, but still a much comfier ride than most on the river.

thank you ozark, for creating a mattress so durable and awesome as the one we took down the river... and thank you mary poppins for inventing the umbrella wind sail, and giving our imaginative minds an idea.

adventures in lil redhottness

sometimes i take for granted what an amazingly fun and adventurous life i live everyday... having hannah and evie staying with me this week has helped remind me of the adventure in my life that i take for granted...

yesterday i had to work, so i gave hannah and evie a crash course (no pun intended) on the quirks of my car, lil redhottness.

yes... that IS her name. wanna see a pic of her?


now... lil redhottness was given to me a couple months ago when my old car broke down. she is not new, and she's got some kinks, but she runs and she was free. when Jesus gives you a free car, you say thank you and suck up your desire to get $10,000 in debt just to have that purty, shiny new model.

she might squeal like nails on a chalkboard when you gas her engine; she might go no more than 20mph up a steep hill... and she might shut off occasionally at a stop sign if you gas the engine and then have to slam on the brakes... but she has character and i love her because she was my answer to prayer.

hannah and evie just stared at me wide-eyed with big smiles and laughs as i told them about her quirks as comically as i could. i ended my schpeel on her quirks with, "she might have some character, girls... but driving her just makes life an adventure. you never quite know what engine sound is gonna make you laugh, who's gonna get to rescue you... or how fast that moped that passes you on that hill, is going!"

when i went to work and they took my car yesterday, i thought they'd have some stories for sure... but man! i didnt anticipate how much enjoyment they'd find in their adventures that day.

when i saw them after work, they couldnt get their stories out fast enough. as they told me their stories about lil redhottness, i couldnt stop laughing. i watched with glee as the girls bubbled over with excitement, and i loved seeing my world - my daily transportation routine in lil redhottness - through their eyes.

as hannah and evie laughed and told me their stories, i looked at hannah and i could picture her in a couple months... running full speed into the compound in kenya, so excited to tell everyone her stories from the day! i thought about how i did the same thing, seeing everything as an adventure, and watching my friend daniel's amused expression as he heard his world, his daily environment, described through my eyes.

to see our lives through another person's eyes brings such a fresh joy and a new reminder of the blessings we can sometimes take for granted.

there are adventures to be experienced all around us, everyday. find the adventure, ya'll... it's right under your nose.

dog... food?

my friend michael's sister, hannah, will be going to kenya in the fall to intern with a ton of my friends here in reno. she wanted to come visit michael and meet many of the people she'll be living and serving with, so she and her sister came to visit, and are staying with me for the week.

we all hit it off right away, and we pretty much just laugh the entire we're together.

i had lunch with them today at a vietnamese noodlehouse here in reno that i like to frequent. it's called Pho 777. i love it, and they'd never had it before, so off we went on my lunch break!

they loved the food, and i was so glad i got to experience their first time eating pho!



i think we were about halfway through our lunch, and i stopped chewing, staring in horror at some patrons behind evie. she turned around to look at what i was staring at, and i had to hold back my gag reflex. there, on the table behind her, was a dog in a little pink purse, sitting right next to his master's place setting while she ate.

now, i know very well that people eat around their pets all the time... no worries. i get that... but seriously! at a restaurant? i swallowed laboriously as hannah asked what was wrong. i pointed at what i saw...



i was stunned. "larry always told me vietnamese people eat dogs, but i never thought i'd ever see one on the table in a pho restaurant!"

hannah erupted in laughter, as i looked at her mockingly and said "what? dont laugh... we're gonna die, eating here... why are they letting animals in here? OMIGOSH!"

she gasped for air, and said "hope... that's a My Little Pony set... not a dog!" to which i also erupted in laughter as i realized my imagination had run wild...

for the record, paris hilton and her little purse puppies have now ruined my ability to eat with confidence at a public establishment...

hope: the human chipmunk

a while ago i got a tooth pulled... three years ago, to be exact. it sucked, but needed to be done. i was told eventually i'd need to get it replaced with an implant, and this year is the year to do it.

did you know that without your teeth and roots and nerves, your jaw will recede away to nothing? its true. and that's what started happening with mine. it was like a little river stone being eaten away by the current... of saliva maybe? i dunno... but apparently gums attack bone if there is no tooth there.

so... i went in on thursday afternoon to get a bone graft to build up some of my jaw bone where i got the tooth pulled. just around the time i'd gotten used to the idea of having a piece of a dead person's mandible grafted into my jaw, i was told it was going to be a bit more "extensive" of a procedure...

the doc said "we need to take some of your own jaw bone from the back of your mouth, and graft it in there as well, to encourage cell growth", and i stopped breathing. my jaw bone? no one mentioned pieces of MY jaw being used for this graft. put me under... knock me out right now, cuz i'm not sitting through this while i'm awake, i thought.

ya... queue my freakout session. normally people are put under, via IV sedatives for the whole "let us saw off a few pieces of your jaw bone and then put a few screws in there, too" part of a dental visit.

now... i'm not good with pain. i stub my toe and it's the end of the world... just ask anyone who knows me. so, needless to say i was a wee bit anxious when i heard about the bone saw part.

the hygenist said "would you like some nitris?" and before she got the words out, i'd pretty much strapped on the awkward nose piece myself, breathing is as deeply as possible before she numbed me up with a five inch needle. my doc came over and sat down when i was numb and said "sorry, you're gonna get to listen to my bad jokes for a good long while today", to which i waved my ipod in front of his face and stuck my earphones in.

as he worked away for the next hour and a half, i thought it was pretty ironic that i was listening to Armageddon, the movie, on my ipod. about the time they were drilling three screws into my jaw to hold my bone graft in place, bruce willis was drilling through an asteroid to save the earth.

after four pieces of my jaw, some cadaver bone, the gums being retracted away from four or five of my lower teeth, and three screws being drilled around the bone graft like a tent to hold my gums back when they were sewn back around my teeth, i was the concern of every woman in the office as i staggered to my feet when they were done. i glanced at my hugely swollen jaw and cracked and bleeding lips, thinking "im so glad i am still numb and can't feel anything". i was not a pretty sight, and i headed to faith's house so she could take care of me.

i was too much of a wuss to look at what they did in my mouth, but i needed to know whether i would need the vicodin prescription after the novocaine wore off. i showed faith, and her sharp intake of breath and "uh... yeah. you'll want those pills" had me on the phone with the pharmacy pronto.

i never take strong drugs... but man did i realize what they mean when they say they can be addictive. it was hell one minute with the novocation wearing off, and heaven the next when the vicodin kicked in. beautiful... just beautiful.

so... now i'm just waiting for the swelling to go down. i'm off the vicodine and onto a low dose of anti-inflammatory drugs, hoping to be able to go in public again soon. i'm afraid if i walk outside, children will scream and run away, and old ladies will gasp in horror at the sight of my abnormally large and distended jaw and cheek.

that's me... the human chipmunk.

talented graduates and their screaming fans

tmcc graduation 2009
Originally uploaded by hopiface

some of my lovely friends graduated from truckee meadows community college this last week. i am so proud of them for their accomplishments, but even more amazed at their musical talent.

lil red (stephanie) has never sung for us before, and we were FLOORED at her talent both singing and on the keys. cuz dang, that girl rocks.

scott rocked out on guitar and added his vocals near the end, and i'm just amazed again and again at the amazing arrangement they all did with the song in the beginning of this video.

words by the girl in the middle, and music by stephanie and scott.

enjoy!

virginia city saloon girls

our adventures in virginia city were so numerous, i'm getting a bit overwhelmed thinking of how to explain them all. i will succeed, though!

so lauren and i got up and out of the house to pick up karen, lauren's old roommate from college... and might i say, next to both of them i definitely feel like a giant. karen is 4'11, and lauren is a head taller than her, and i'm a head taller than lauren. we're like the cingular bars all stacked up in heighth order. good grief... so funny.

we walked around virginia city for a bit and bought a few things like hawaiian lotion (TOTALLY manufactured in vcity? no, not really), summer dresses, and little random things like my bottle of gingerale. i cant wait to taste it!

we went into a quaint little shop, and lauren tried on something called a "magic wrap" which is double layers of fabric that are large enough to wrap around your body in a variety of ways. you can make a skirt, dress, halter shirt, tunic, or even bathing suit coverup...



we saw a group of tourists on the street, and i told lauren and karen to come with me as i pretended to be a part of their group. it was awesome! we got details on the famous "suicide table" in a local saloon and took some pictures...



then we visited the old newspaper printing shop, where the headlines were pretty absurd... and therefore pretty fantastic!






then we were off to the bucket 'o blood saloon, where you just HAVE to go and have a rootbeer. we were also told (as the barkeep looked at karen skeptically) that we couldn't be at the bar unless we were 21... to which she sassily replied that she definitely is, and i guess they figured since we were ordering root beer, it wasn't worth a fight. so funny!





i asked around and found out there was a local cigar shop in town, so we stopped by there where i got a lesson in cigars from a toothless man who (to his credit) did have an awesome selection of cigars ranging from $3 - $100. super impressive. i bought three "black dragons" that apparently are really spicy, and have a kick to 'em for a few guy friends of mine... we'll see how they like them.



we went to the shooting gallery where we got to show our stuff with laser shotguns... it was fun times. karen hadn't shot before, so lauren showed her how, and karen thought she was pretty clever, surprising lauren with a kiss when i took the picture.





after our shooting adventure, we decided to take an old-time saloon picture and i dont think we stopped laughing the whole time. from the scandalous ladies behind the counter taking our pictures and helping us into our costumes, to the absurdity of hilarity that must come to even get into character for a photo shoot as a saloon girl, it was just nonstop giggles and laughing.

the lady took our picture by saying "serious pose... slight smile... full smile... random" and we would go from looking like we hated the world, to a smirk, to a full smile, and then a cheesy scream look on our faces. when we looked through them at the end, we just died laughing. you woulda thought we were watching a comedy show or something... well, lets face it... taking a dressup picture with me and lauren IS a comedy show. you add karen, and it just gets CRAZY, i'm tellin ya!

here is the one we ended up with... we're pretty hot sauce, ya'll.



you would think that'd be enough adventure for the day, but it wasnt...

we went to lunch at the hungry miner's diner, and while in there we ran into a producer for a local virginia city commercial documenting the diner we were in. we were told we should come back and be in the commercial next saturday... to which i laughingly told the producer that i knew where to get a saloon girl costume if he wanted me in old fashioned garb for the picture. he laughed and agreed that was a great idea, if i came. haha... lauren and karen and i laughed as the producer and his assistant left.

when they walked out, the owner of the diner walked up to us and told us the producer's assistant was adam lambert's sister, ashley lambert. adam lambert is on american idol... he was the runner-up this year. how funny is that?!? karen almost had a heart attack right there. she wanted to run out the door and be ashley's best friend i think.

not too shabby of a day in virginia city, i must say...

backstube with autumn

today was lunch with autumn at backstube, a unique little austrian bakery near my house.

autumn and lauren got to chat for a bit and we laughed our way through a sunshine filled lunch on the patio.

i love the little quaint eateries in my neighborhood!

after my work day lauren and i went to housechurch with the crew, and then back to my house to watch the season finale of LOST with andrew. he grilled up some steak that we diced and put on fettuccine and it was to die for.

how tragic that we now have to wait til 2010 for new episodes!! grrrr.

riverwalk, lasagna & i love lucy

avocado on toast and coffee is what i had for breakfast today. favorite breakfast ever...

lauren took my car and went home to sleep for a few more hours before her lunch date with danel at waldens, a local coffee shop here in reno. from what i hear, it was a great time.

i had a meeting around lunch time, so afterwards lauren and i spent my late lunch hour at the river where we got coffee at dreamers coffee shop and took a stroll in the sunshine. i showed her the kayaking area of the riverwalk, and the parks and outdoor theaters for plays and things... she loved it.

then we just sat and talked on some stone steps. its was one of those unforgettable conversations... one where it just makes your heart happy and solidifies those strong bonds in a sincere friendship. i hope everyone reading this knows what that's like, because it's one of those things that just makes life worthwhile.

lauren headed off to an afternoon with andrew, and when i got off work we met up with at the "i love lucy & lasagna night" at faith, joy & saprina's place later that night. saprina made her mom's amazing lasagna recipe, and it was fantastic! boy i love me some lucy, too. that woman is so frickin funny. here's a clip from what we watched tonight.




lauren and faith and i laugh at how similar faith and lauren are. it's why i appreciate lauren, i think. she reminds me of faith in SO many ways. here's some pictures of us twinsters with lauren.

qdoba community and in-n-out

sleep? what is that?

sleep is pointless when you'd rather hang out with people you love than get some rest. haha... i feel that way all the time. with lauren here, it's worse.

we dont wanna sleep, because it takes away from hangout time... although we get alot of that as it is.

we wake up in the morning and she laughs at my "i hate the world" attitude on the way to work... then we meet for lunch in the afternoon, and have serious conversations about life and the Lord while we eat... then in the evenings we get together with friends until late at night, and when we drive home she laughs even MORE at my nighttime "awake" attitude when i have no filter. its just laughter laughter laughter... all the time laughing, and i wouldnt have it any other way.

i tell her i love having an audience... it eggs me on.

today was our errands day. i had two appts this morning... one for the dentist and one for the optometrist... so i took the morning off work. she decided to tag along, and so after my dentist appt we went and grabbed coffee before my eye doctor appt. the starbucks man macked on her while we were there, and she got not one but TWO free drinks in our 20 minute stay at the coffee shop. it was freaking funny.



we also met jake, the golden lab tied outside starbucks. THEN we met his owner who we have affectionately named "the starbucks surfer dude"... he was not ugly. he introduced us to jake, and then conveniently decided to move jake closer to us so he could "be in the shade". this meant starbucks surfer dude could show off jake's many skills in doing tricks, much to our delight.

an hour later, i was done with my eye doctors appt in which they dilated my eyes and gave me hideously ghetto-fabulous sun shades to wear with my glasses. this was something lauren "needed" to documented with a photo. it wouldve been a much better photo if she wasn't shaking and laughing so hard while taking it.



soon afterwards, we were off to lunch with mellum at qdoba where we did alot more laughing and even got asked to get up from our booth so the manager of the restaurant could grab a couple pots that he'd forgotten to remove from the storage area inside the bench seat... oh man! that ONLY happens to us.



then i relinquished lauren to mellum for the afternoon where they spent five hours at starbucks talking before i grabbed her and we went to go hang out with ruth before community. i decorated her nails with a toothpick. dont they look fabulous?!





community was great, and afterwards lauren and i voted for an in-n-out adventure at 11pm. here are some pictures of the randomness...

pho and tea bubbles

while lauren is here i have to work. it sucks because i'd love to hang out with her 24/7, but we think we've come up with a way to hang out and still allow for my work schedule too.

i love being lauren's social planner. people call or text or facebook me and are like "hey is lauren doing anything?" and i subdue my desire to tell them "yes... i am hanging with her all day!" and call in sick to work (which i would never do), and i be an adult and pencil them into her social calendar.

we thought it was gonna be tough to hang out since i work all week, but it is actually working pretty well. we have a default lunch date everyday unless someone else wants to steal her, and we SO look forward to it.

today (monday) she dropped me off at work, and then covertly filled my gas tank (grrr) before relaxing for a couple hours and then meeting me for lunch. we went to pho 777, a vietnamese noodle house, for lunch and it was fun to sit and chat for a bit in the middle of my busy work day.

then i relinquished her to andrew for the afternoon, and they spent four hours at starbucks and then went to visit mellum at his work. from what i hear, he about died of excitement when she slyly walked in and checked out the ice cream counter without him knowing she was there. mustve been a great moment! :)

i met up with them after work and we had a not-so-healthy dinner at wendys before everyone headed off to young life.

lauren had heard stories of how much i adore bubble tea, so at her request we headed over to partake of the brilliant bubble... it was really funny watching her reactions to the tapioca bubbles in the bottom of her tea.



after bubble tea we decided to invite ruth lipparelli to go on our pending grocery shopping excursion with us since we were near her house. she was finishing dinner her man had made when we arrived, and we sat down on the patio with luke and ruth and danel to wait for her to finish... and then we didn't move for four hours.

we laughed and talked and joked around for an hour or so before larry and mike bishop returned from a coffee date... and then shortly after they got back, andrew got home from young life, too. what a group we had! all fiesty and animated, telling stories about life and each of our respective africa adventures, too. we all can relate on that topic, for sure.

inbetween our stories and laughs, larry pegged the neighbor's barking dog with frozen paintballs when throwing it food to keep quiet didn't work anymore. one of larry's pet peaves is not being able to hear conversations in his backyard because of the barking dog. i could barely concentrate on the conversations around me when larry went to war with the mangy mutt.

then... after four hours in the lipparelli's backyard... lauren and i headed off to go grocery shopping. that was an interesting experience, since the last time we went grocery shopping included a man telling me his wife no longer satisfied him, upon seeing me at the kenyan marketplace. ha! being around each other is so weird when we think of everything in retrospective to the last time we hung out together. soooo different.

the way we roll

let me just say the following: i am having so much fun with lauren here in reno!

only a day into her week here, and i've loved every second ive spent with her. its a blast building upon the friendship we struck up in kenya. its so different that what we experienced there, but so relaxing. we have both changed so much since africa...

one thing hasn't changed, though... we still exhaust everyone around us by laughing constantly. we find alot of joy in life, although my scope of vision is a lot more sarcastic and ironic of an outtake on everything than hers is... but we just laugh and laugh because we love being around another person who enjoys just LIVING.

after our adventure in the ghetto (previous blog) , we slept for a few hours and then drove to washoe valley where we met friends who had been camping for a few days. we avoided the bugs, cold nights and set up and tear down of the campsites, and that was fine with me!

we spent the afternoon driving around the campground in the back of andrew's truck...

layed in the grass outside of bower's mansion, laughing as half naked children swam around in the water fountain...

took pictures of anything and everything just to document such a gloriously relaxing afternoon...

went to the chocolate nugget candy factory for some homemade ice cream and sweets...

i introduced lauren to the "miner man" on the hill near the candy factory - he seemed to really want her to take the rock he was holding out to her...

but try as we might, we couldn't get it out of his hand... he just wouldnt let go!

by the time we were done with our afternoon of grass and ice cream and mining men, we were exhausted. we said goodbye to the friendlies for the afternoon and headed home to a night of hair dying. faith joined us a little later, and i was pretty proud of my handiwork when all was said and done...

i gave faith highlights... i got chocolate brown... and lauren got blonder.

we finished our night by relaxing and watching the movie p.s. i love you.

for the record, that movie makes me want to take a trip to ireland to visit a land where saucy accents and rugged facial hair is the norm. wouldnt it be awesome to attend an irish community event where large men wore skirts that somehow didnt look awkward on them, and compete to see who can throw a tree the farthest?

cuz dang.

that is all for now... more adventures to come...

an adventure in the ghetto

my friend lauren, the one who was in africa with me, decided awhile ago that she wanted to visit reno sometime upon us arriving back in the states after our trip. this weekend was the weekend she arrived.

she was supposed to arrive at sfo yesterday around 2pm and have around 4 hrs to safely find her way via public transportation in cali, to oakland airport. due to many delays on the first couple legs of her trip from texas to the west coast, she arrived at sfo around 4 hours later than she planned. she tried her best to get to oakland airport and make her scheduled flight to reno, but arrived just in time to see it take off.

she called me after she was supposed to be in the air already, and i answered my phone to hear her say: "so... obviously, i'm not on my plane. due to delays of my other flights, i missed it. i have checked all the airlines, and no other flights leave oakland or san francisco until tomorrow morning. so, i'm gonna find a place in the airport to crash for the night until i can catch a flight."

i was horrified at the thought of lauren staying at the airport - OR OAKLAND - alone, and promptly told her that was an unacceptable solution. she'd never been there before, and had no idea how ghetto it was. i told her i'd come pick her up, and i started driving. it took me four hours to get to her, and traffic was actually not too bad, so for that i was thankful.

at 11:45pm i arrived at oakland airport's hilton hotel, which she'd taken an airport shuttle to, and thought "well, this'll be fun" as i parked the car between the hotel and its sports bar. there were about 20 men outside the bar who all took notice as i got out of my car.

i decided to check for lauren in the hotel lobby first and try to avoid the throng if i could, but she wasn't there. earlier when i'd spoken to her on the phone she'd mentioned something about the sports bar, so i gripped my purse a bit tighter and walked briskly towards the entrance to the bar. i got about five feet from the throng of men, and one stepped towards me from the side of the walkway.

"you looking for me, girl?" he asked as he looked me up and down. oh good grief. lets just be honest... i wanted to shove him into the concrete pillar he'd just been leaning against, or at least throw his drink in his face... but i throttled my emotions and kept up my brisk pace as i looked him straight in the face and said "NO."

the 15 men around him erupted in ribbing and remarks about how he'd been shot down, but i was already in the door to the sports bar. i looked around and lauren wasn't there. after a thorough examination of the many dining rooms of the establishment, i walked back to the front. i noticed the obnoxious man (and i use that word lightly) was back and walking towards me with a sly grin on his face.

i quickly sized him up and decided i'd thoroughly shaken his confidence once already and only needed to show i wasn't caving. sure enough, i turned towards him and put one foot in front of me, creating my personal space and throwing him a steely gaze for a few seconds as i put my phone to my ear to call lauren. he got the drift and did a not-so-casual quick turn towards the bar, pretending to ask the barkeep a question before walking out again.

mission accomplished.

lauren answered, and told me she was aware of the throng of men downstairs (only after having to deal with them herself a few times). she had gone to hide on a second floor lounge of the hotel after a quick dinner at the sports bar. she headed downstairs to meet me and i envisioned myself being an untouchable brick wall -with legs- as i walked past all the men again on my way across the driveway to the hotel lobby again.

a hug and a few squeals later, lauren and i grabbed her bag and ignored the bellhop hitting on me, and the sultry "its okay baby.." from the parking attendant when i told him i'd lost my parking stub. we got in the car, locking the doors the second our butts hit the seats.

lauren let out a huge laugh as we drove away, and said "what IS it with you and the men tonight?!"

"i dont know," i replied, "but i'd like to know where my future husband is right now... he needs to come protect his goods!"

we laughed ironically at the fact that our first adventure together in the states dealt with warding off men (something we did frequently in africa), and sighed in relief as we embarked on our journey home...

lauren and i arrived in reno at 4am. after 8 hours of driving for me and a whole day of travel for her, our heads hit our pillows pretty quickly. a few hours later we were up and going to meet friends for the tail end of their camping trip.

here are a few pictures from our day in the sunshine with friends...

death by automatic faucet

we're into our spring events season at my work, and that means lifting tables, hauling chairs and setting up rooms before our events start. my coworkers and i bring a change of clothes so we can get out of our jeans and tshirts and into presentable outfits before our events.

yesterday i grabbed my change of clothes and headed off to the restroom to change. i got all gussied up and realized my tshirt and jeans earrings didnt match my (gorgeous) dress. not to fear, i'd thought of that already and dug around in my purse for my matching earring and necklace set.

i took the necklace out, and the earrings went flying because they had gotten tangled up in it whilst in the bottom of my purse. one i caught in midair (what skill!), and the other went swirling around in the bottom of a sink. i fastened the necklace and one earring, and reached my hand in the sink to retrieve my remaining earring.

as per the function of automatic sinks, my hand set the motion censors off (which i hadnt considered), and the water jetted on at full blast upon my hand that had just grasped the other earring. i was so shocked at the surprise attack of ice water on my hand that i jerked my hand back and my earring went soaring through the air and hit the floor, bouncing across the bathroom.

in a matter of seconds, my heart was racing like a freight train from the shock of the unexpected attack on my hand, but nonetheless i raced across the bathroom trying to catch my earring which was still rolling across the tile.

earring in hand a short 20 seconds later, and aerobics workout completed with the reaching and stretching under sinks and stalls, i sternly put it in my ear and then leaned on the sink vanity to catch my breath and thought, "why work out? in my life, i get my cardiovascular system pumping just by putting jewelry on!"

only me... only me...

the long awaited africa videos

so, i know that while in africa in january, i definitely slacked on getting everyone pictures of my experiences... and for that i am truly sorry.

here are some videos that i hope make up for a little bit of how badly i dropped the ball on the picture front.

video 1: "it's all about the wee ones"

video 2: "fun times with the kenya krew"

well... there are some of the moments i treasure.

thanks for being patient for so long... i hope it paid off getting to watch these.

i was late because...

Here are 12 of the most outrageous excuses employees have given for being late to work:

1. My heat was shut off so I had to stay home to keep my snake warm.
2. My husband thinks it's funny to hide my car keys before he goes to work.
3. I walked into a spider web on the way out the door and couldn't find the spider, so I had to go inside and shower again.
4. I got locked in my trunk by my son.
5. My left turn signal was out so I had to make all right turns to get to work.
6. A gurney fell out of an ambulance and delayed traffic.
7. I was attacked by a raccoon and had to stop by the hospital to make sure it wasn't rabid.
8. I feel like I'm in everyone's way if I show up on time.
9. My father didn't wake me up.
10. A groundhog bit my bike tire and made it flat.
11. My driveway washed away in the rain last night.
12. The line at Starbucks was so long I went home and made my own coffee.

a cuppa makes my world go round

waking up in the morning is hard to do.

most mornings, i wake up in the shower with a faint recollection of shutting off my phone alarm and stumbling down my hall...

needless to say, i find it hard to function without some kind of caffeinated supplement to get me going in the morning. i loved enjoying a cuppa java every morning in kenya. someone always had it ready for me, and i was so grateful... but back here in the real world, if i want coffee in the morning i have to make it myself.

sometimes i hate the real world and the burdens i have to carry...

making coffee poses a problem because of my aforementioned lake of focus in the wee hours of the morning.

seriously, i can barely put one foot in front of the other, let alone make coffee. i'm pretty much comatose until someone hooks the caffeine i.v. up to my arm and starts it flowing... well, figuratively speaking... ;o)

anyways... i made coffee for myself the last few days, and i have something to say...

my lack of early morning coordination makes it a genuine MIRACLE that i'm still alive.

thank God for starbucks baristas.

loving men... who love Jesus

so... a few weeks ago, an interesting thing happened at work.

i got to my desk after copying some documents across the hall, and the ladies from my office were standing around with mischievious grins on their faces. i smiled and said somewhat suspiciously, "what?"

now, mind you, my coworker christy is one of the most hysterical people i've ever met. she can singlehandedly turn a staff meeting into comedy hour with her animated jokes and outtakes on life... and she can turn a ride in the elevator into a minute or so of side-splitting laughter.

so, naturally, when i saw her with her hands behind her back hiding something, i thought "oh, this is gonna be good..."

she glanced at our coworkers and said "hope, i have a present for you!" and she pulled out from behind her back a calendar...

THIS calendar...



i laughed at the cover, but didn't really know what to make of it at first... until she and the other ladies encouraged me to check out "january". when i did what they asked, i got the drift...

apparently, someone photographed good ol' mormon boys before they left on their missions (hence the title of the calendar.. "men on a mission"), and then photographed them AGAIN once they returned...

before they left on their missions, they had what i like to dub the "homeschooler" hairstyle. you know... the "look-my-hair-is-parted-right-down-the-middle-of-my-head" hairstyle that makes you wanna just give them a noogie cuz it'd look a hundred times better messed up than it does when they "fix" it every morning with a half bottle of gel, and their dad's comb. eew. and then, to top it all off, they had the geeky glasses and nicely pressed white shirts and ties. they looked JUST like the good lil' mormon boy who comes to your door once a year...

but that was just the INSET picture...

the large picture for each month was the one they took when they photographed them two years LATER after they'd returned from their mission in some foreign country. those countries feed 'em pretty good, i'm guessing... the good lil' mormom boys were now men with no homeschooler hair... no glasses... and most importantly, no shirt.

i was greatly amused by such a random gift from christy, that was so outside of the "norm", but she succeeded in making me BUST up laughing when she explained the motive behind the gift.

she said, "i know it's random, but someone gave it to me and i'm not gonna keep it, so i figure since you love men, AND you love Jesus... well, here's a calendar of men who love Jesus!"

when i was done laughing my face off, i thanked them for the gift and assured them that i would not be hanging it up anywhere, but rather taking a picture of it, writing a blog about it, and getting rid of it.

they laughed as they flipped through the pages to show me their favorite "month"...



my roommate passed on the calendar to a friend of hers, after i brang it home and told her the story. whoever she gave it to, i hope they get as much of a laugh from it as i have...

smokin hot dinner party

so last night i invited over 12 or 13 friends for dinner and a movie. it was a pretty sweet menu. baked potatoes, steak, salad, garlic bread... it was yummy. after dinner we turned on the most recent diehard movie, and watched bruce willis put the beat-down on some bad guys trying to take over the world.

well, as we were watchin the movie, i looked around at the room of family and friends all camped out with blankets and pillows in my livingroom, and thought "the perfect thing for this atmosphere is a fire going in the fireplace."

i tried... i tried to be a good hostess.

food... movie... atmosphere...

i gave my brother permission to light the fire in the fireplace, and for about 60 seconds, it was perfect.

then it all went up in... well... smoke.

the fireplace flue was not working. i figured it eventually would... but i'm clueless to that stuff. my dad and brother tried to open and shut the flue, and open and shut the front door... everything to create some kind of suction or air flow that would make the smoke go up and out, rather than into the house.

nothing worked.

some people started coughing in mock horror that they were going to be asphixiated by smoke, and my mom opened every door and window in the house. i stood up and realized my head and shoulders were engulfed in thick smoke.

the chaos started...

autumn and kami were faking death by suffocation in the far corner of the livingroom...

jon and andrew jumped off the couch to find a fire extinguisher...

my mom came out clad in oven mitts with a cookie tray saying we needed to just take the logs outside and let them burn out... to which i thought "oh yeah, that'd be fantastic. backyard is full of dry leaves that'll catch on fire from the slightest piece of ash, and i'm sure my neighbors wouldnt be worried at ALL if i set some burning logs in my front yard!"

i screamed as jonathan came out of the kitchen with my fire extinguisher, and i told him "NO!" right as he was pulling the pin. thankfully, he smiled gleefully at what he was about to do, but walked away and let the fire be... right around the time that daniel suggested separating the logs so the fire would burn out quicker. someone did that, and it seemed to start dying a bit.

my dad, brother, jonathan, and my mom were all crowded around the fire at some point or another trying to get the flue open or the logs to burn out quicker... it was insane. after 15 minutes of smoke so thick we could barely breathe even with all the windows and door open, even i was at a loss.

my sister autumn started laughing hysterically because it was so cold in my house from the doors and windows being open, that everyone could see their breath. they all started commenting on the frigidness - to my utter humiliation - but i loved andrew for his "if anyone doesnt like it then leave, because this is my favorite atmosphere... its like camping!"

i coulda hugged him. that's why he's my favorite. in that moment he - with one comment - put my mental breakdown on freeze frame.

it wasn't the atmosphere i was going for, but at least someone was getting a kick out of it. i smiled a little as i thought it totally WAS like camping... only without the forest. just a smoky campfire and the freezing cold trying to attack us under our layers of blankets, pillow and coats.

the logs were burning out, but i forgot about the movie we were supposed to be watching as i just stared in humilated horror at the fireplace that was ruining my otherwise perfect dinnerparty. the fireplace was the safest place i could think of to let the logs burn out, but the smoke just kept coming.

i was defeated.

daniel mustve seen my look of pathetic helplessness at the fact that i couldnt solve the impending problem of us all ending up in the ER needing BREATHING treatments when the movie was over. he looked at me and said quietly, "hope... do you want me to take the logs out to the front yard and douse them with water?"

i looked at him... then at the logs still smoking... and then at the six feet of smoke filling the roof of my house... and i nodded.

daniel jumped up and opened the fireplace grating, grabbing the aforementioned cookie sheet. he picked up the burning logs with his bare hands and put them on them on it, taking them into the front yard where he doused them with water. no chance of the yard catching on fire... no leaves or sparks or ash... it was a good solution.

he came back in to hoots and hollers of approval from everyone, and a huge sigh of relief from me as i saw the smoke was already leaving. within a few minutes we could shut the doors and windows and actually breathe again.

much thanks to daniel, and many apologies later to the lives that were in jeopardy at my dinner party, and we were able to finish the movie with sufficiently smoke-free oxygen in our lungs.

i am recuperating on my couch today from the physical stress that smoke inhalation and hostessing caused to my body last night... and thanking God that my dinner party didn't end in disaster... just a bit of humiliation and a good story.

i'll have to try and redeem myself with another party soon, but i'm okay if it's not as smokin as the last one.

pop a pill

when i was in africa, i developed a wee bit of an addiction.

yes, it's true... the good little homeschooler can still succumb to the vices of this world.

i know, i know... it's disappointing to me, too.

sigh... anyways...

daniel (another homeschooler who succumbed) would make coffee every morning, and i'd relish Cup # 1 of the kenyan caffeine feeding my brain the needed jolt of energy to wake up and face the world each day... i don't know how anyone would've survived my stay there if i didn't have it.

after nights of tossing and turning, trying to sleep with the mosquitos buzzing around my head, it was the only thing preventing me from giving in to my "i hate everyone" attitude every morning.

shoving obnoxious kenyan men in front of the nearest moving vehicles would've been a daily event, let me tell ya.

did i mention i'm not a morning person?

okay... just thought i'd reiterate that fact.

Cup # 2 would come in the afternoon when we'd returned from whatever we were doing that day, and daniel would make another pot of french press and present me with my second dose... enough to survive the first half of the night with the previously mentioned mosquitos.

i only turned down his coffee once during the whole month we were there, and i regretted that... so it's pretty much a "duh!" statement to say i would need to either go cold turkey off that caffeine, or keep truckin with the addiction when i got back to the states.

well, i decided to wean myself off of the caffeine. for my whole first week back, i didn't drink coffee. nope... none. i was so proud of myself.

then i realized something... i was doing fine... just fine.

that's not normal. i should've had splitting withdrawal headaches by now, with the amount of caffeine i was consuming everyday in kenya.

why wasn't i irrated at life and supporting a new over the counter tylenol addiction from the nonexistent headaches by now?



that's right, folks... one a day women's vitamins.

started 'em when i got back from kenya, trying to be all healthy. the warning on the back of the bottle says the following:

"This product contains about as much caffeine as a cup of coffee."

best way to get your morning caffeine in a rush?

pop a pill.

blasting me with your horn? really?!?

who would've thought you could have adventures in america, too.

yesterday i ran some errands in town, and then i wanted to go to the buck of the star (i.e. starbucks) to write for awhile and relax for the afternoon.

i'd felt pretty lazy the last few days since i'd been too busy to get out in the fresh air and get some exercise. it'd been a few days of coffee dates, family time, and errands around town whenever i had a couple free hours in the evening. i'd caught up on life finally, but had no time to work out.

i decided that if i wanted to spend the afternoon at starbucks sitting on my butt, that i'd make myself earn it... so i walked to starbucks.

that's right... i have a vehicle, i live in america, and i walked somewhere.

try it... you'll feel so accomplished. and yes... our legs will support us for longer than five minutes at a time.

i parked my car up at the office max/home depot area at north mccarran, and i put on my hat, coat and scarf. i slung my laptop bag over my shoulder and put my ipod in my ears, and i was off.

it was a mile and a half to the pyramid starbucks, and it was frigid outside... but it felt so good to be walking that i didn't even mind.

this brings me to the subject of my blog...

as i was walking along the road... on the made-for-walking sidewalk... the sidewalk where i should be safe and secure because i was using it for it's intended purpose... i nearly jumped out of my skin as a utility truck passed me and the driver SLAMMED on his horn.

GOOD LORD!

i gasped and jumped to the far side of the sidewalk as the two men in the cab stared back at me as they drove past. my wide-eyed shock turned into a disturbed glare at those men as i turned up my ipod and kept walking.

i get that the latino culture believes it is flattering for a man to look a woman up and down like she's a piece of meat... but could ya just not scare me half to death by blaring on your horn and making me think i'm going to be run over at any moment?

after a few more times of the horns blaring on my walk, i was thankful for the warmth and quiet jazz music in the buck of the star.

it was another three hours of hot tea, writing, and relaxation, before i braved the horns again on my walk back to my car.

monkey park

one of the coolest places i visited while in africa, was on my last day in nairobi. last year, some people made daniel aware of a park in nairobi that has monkeys living EVERYWHERE in it's trees.

the day was filled with alot of places, including a visit to a TI project in the slums, but it started off great with a man in front of our hotel yelling at daniel from a bus, "hey... you have three! why can't you give me one?!" in reference to the three of us girls trailing behind him. seriously?! it was 7am... i was ready to punch him MYSELF. daniel said something to him in swahili that sounded really fiesty, and all of us girls giggled as the man shut up really fast, and we continued on our mission to find coffee.

later that day we bought two bags of peanuts at a local store, and then caught a matatu to the park.



walking into the park, there were quite a few people around us. i was walking on one side of the path, and daniel and michele and lauren were on the other side. all of a sudden daniel said calmly but firmly, "hope... walk towards me" and i could tell he was concerned about something.

i walked towards him and the girls.

then he said to all three of us, "on the count of three, we're all going to stop and stare at that bush right there," and all of us girls smiled at each other like we were playing a gradeschool game as he counted to three and we all stopped and looked down at a bush. after a few seconds daniel gave us the "okay," and we started walking again. he pointed out two young guys who were in front of us, but had been directly behind me. they looked like idiots, running and jumping in front of us, and smacking each other now and then while they skipped down the path. it was NOT common behavior for kenyans. we think they were high, and their proximity to me was too close for daniel's comfort, i guess.

moral of the story? when daniel says it's time to stop and smell the roses... you stop and smell the roses.

we spotted a monkey on the ground in the middle of a grove of trees, and walked over. daniel brought out the first bag of peanuts, and opened it. then he had a target on his forehead. monkeys dropped from the trees, and one even tried to grab the bag out of his hand.



luckily, he escaped without injury (that time), and put the bag of peanuts securely in his pocket. we were quite amused to see momma monkeys with their babies clinging to the underside of their stomachs...



... and even more amused to see that a young kenyan pick-pocket had followed us into the grove of trees. we were onto him, so he didnt try anything, but he hovered for awhile.

daniel gave us peanuts, and the monkeys jumped up to our shoulders for their treat which would soon follow. it was a bit nerve-wracking at first, but eventually i got used to having them jump and climb all over me. we had soooo much fun.

michele was a bit enthralled...


i was a bit scared that my monkey would bite me...


daniel had done this before...

and lauren looked like she belonged in the circus...


as we tired of the first group of monkeys (because they started fighting with each other over the peanuts), we moved on to a different area of the park where i found a different kind of monkeys... some of the local children. they were so cute swinging on the branches of the trees, and playing games.



we found another group of monkeys (the primate kind), and encountered a group of kenyan people walking by. one man blatently held a camera phone in my face and snapped a picture. daniel was torked, but the man with the camera phone walked away pretty fast...as he walked, he snapped another picture... this time of michele.

serves us right, i guess. that was the first time i had a camera in my face, but i'd been snapping pictures of the kenyan people my whole month in africa... so i got a taste of my own medicine, i guess. whatever.

this new group of monkeys was super fun, although a bit scary at first. one of them had a bleeding foot which made me want to vomit. there was a huge monkey that the bleeding one was terrified of, which made me think that the big one was the culprit for the wound. i threw peanuts at the hurt one because i felt sorry for it, but when it jumped on me, i FREAKED. i draw the line at monkey blood stains on my skirt... that is unacceptable.





i was a little freaked out... can you tell? good lord. michele just laughed... she was not sympathetic towards my plight until the bleeding monkey jumped on HER. serves her right!

we got a couple monkeys to literally jump like a relay race from one shoulder to the next one...



then daniel and lauren decided to try something a bit different... a longer jump. it was awesome.



then michele got ahold of the camera as one of the monkeys got fiesty with me... i apologize for your seasickness, as michele got pretty squirrely with the videotaping part... but i think it's funny. :)



now, my friends, we come to the tragic part of the story... excuse me as i hold back the tears... of LAUGHTER.

daniel was getting some more peanuts out of his first bag (of which he had unwisely taken from the security of his pocket), and a humongous monkey lunged at his hand. the monkey latched onto the bag (and daniel's finger) with his teeth, and ripped. the bag tore, but did not come loose from his grip. dan was so shocked by the attack, that he didn't hide the bag, but rather said "hey, i think it just bit me!" as he looked at his finger that was bleeding.



the monkey saw his chance, and lunged again at the bag of peanuts... success. dan was busy staring at his finger and the monkey grabbed the bag and ran off. after pretty much scalding daniel's finger with some germ-x from michele's purse we decided it didn't warrant an emergency, but daniel's excitement about the monkey park waned as he thought of the diseases he could've just contracted. we were more amused than worried... but that's because it didnt look very bad... but we can't really talk, cuz WE werent the ones with the monkey bite.

daniel is still alive (as far as i know), but maybe we could've been a bit more sensitive...

anyways, daniel opened the last bag of peanuts, but by then the monkeys had gotten pretty aggressive, so we did what anyone would've done...

we called over some kids playing at the park, and made sure the monkeys saw the transfer of peanuts from daniel's hand to theirs.



sacrificing kenyan children to packs of hungry animals... it's what we do.