she is rescued by love

She walks into the coffee house looking windblown and alive.

The door shuts behind her and she absent-mindedly unbuttons her coat as she looks around with a hesitant but unguarded expression. She takes in her surroundings as the appraising glances of a few men and the intrigued stares of a few women in the shop sweep over her. She is aware but unaffected by their attention, as her eyes meet mine across the room and she smiles. She hurries over and gives me a quick hug, un-phased by the stares that continue to follow her to our table.

She joins me at our table and excitedly tells me some random fantastic news and my attention is riveted on her, drawn into her happiness like a flower seeks a sunbeam. I laugh with her.

She is different from who she was when I met her… there has been a beautiful change in her.

I look at her and think of that change. Subtle but strong… patient but unyielding. It took time. There is peace about her that makes her one of those women you can’t take your eyes off of. Her joy, her pain, her sorrow and her victories are all captured in that peace… the essence of who she is. She is confident and courageous and full of life.

She is mystery.

Love changed her.

She is vulnerable and intimate in her speech and keenly aware of her deepest pain… her story is poignant and powerful but it doesn’t own her anymore. She harnessed its power some time ago and she has shared it with me.

Her contagious, beaming smile would never allude to the cruelty she has endured at the hands of evil men. Her animated story telling would never have you believe she was once afraid to even speak. Her deep, peaceful eyes don't speak of her silent tears during the beatings she has endured. Her sincerity of heart doesn't speak of the abandonment, abuse and loneliness that consumed her for so long.

Her pain has a purpose now.

She stands confident and sure because the depth of her sorrow increased the joy of her rescue.

She never knew she was worth fighting for until a hero stood between her and death. Now she fights for others in honor of her savior.

Her rescuer saw her worth. She reaches out to others because life reached out to her.

I love her because my story is the same... and she gives me courage to share it.

**************

“She”... is every woman I am privileged to know and love. Their stories are different but the same... tragedy to triumph… sorrow to serenity... loneliness to peace. They fight harder and love deeper each day than they did the day before.

They are valiant and vulnerable... and their triumph is scandalously beautiful.

Grace and feist, grief and healing… they reach into the darkness and their comforting touch brings life in the lives of those around them.

They love because they know love.

“This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.” 1 John 4:9-11

the strength of an honorable man

How easy it would be for a man of great physical strength to build his reputation upon physical prowess and his need to prove himself by always winning a fight… it is so much easier to build muscle than character.

I recently watched a movie called “The Eagle” in which a Roman soldier arrives at an arena to watch a battle. An innocent villager, Esca, is pushed into the arena to fight a gladiator twice his size. No one knows why he was arrested, but Esca is not favored to win. The situation seems hopeless and cruel. I watched with interest, waiting for Esca to take up his sword and prove that the “little guy” can win the physical battle in an impossible situation, but the movie doesn’t portray that scenario.

Esca looks about him at the frenzied crowd screaming for his blood and their entertainment and he throws down the weapons given to him.

Esca takes a painful and humiliating beating without lifting a finger to fight back and the Roman soldier in the audience shows admiration for Esca’s courage in the face of death (a brave character quality) and starts a chant to save his life. The crowd then realizes Esca’s strength of will as his courage in the face of death quietly and confidently speaks “I am innocent. I’ve done nothing, but kill me if you must, to simply prove your ‘strength’!” even in his silence.

Esca’s life is eventually spared… but what’s more, later in the movie we find he is a more than capable warrior who could’ve easily won the match against the gladiator in the arena. His earlier restraint and ability to discern when it was wisest to put his physical strength to the test makes him even more impressive and made it irresistible not to root for his success in the movie. He chooses the worthy battles.

“When restraint and courtesy are added to strength, the latter becomes irresistible.” Mahatma Gandhi

I was talking to a girl friend of mine recently and we were remarking on the strength of one of the men we know. He displayed a great deal of physical strength, protecting a girl friend of ours in a very scary situation. In complimenting his wisdom and knowledge in handling the problem -along with his physical ability to put his knowledge into action and protect our friend- our conversation quickly became a discussion of the many different ways strength is used.

A muscular build -although appreciated- is not what I typically refer to when I talk about a “man of strength.” Many times when I speak of the strength of the men, I refer to their courage of heart, desire for God – which leads them into spiritual battles on a daily basis – and their struggle to stand firm in their convictions against so much else vying for their affection and attention.

When I think of strength, I see see Christ... when I picture strength, I see the faces of the men in my life.

They are men of integrity. They do not pose and they do not pretend to be what they are not.

They are men and they allow their actions to speak for them. They strengthen each other in so many ways... they are warriors even when they fall. They face defeat and rise again... struggle with failure and continue to encourage each other in the difficulties they face.

In the same way, their selflessness speaks volumes to me and the women I know. I would be surprised to hear of a woman in my Home Church or close friends who hasn’t felt cherished by them. They are wise, caring, comforting and encouraging in so many ways. They sacrificially place themselves between us and any possibility of danger, open doors for us, buy us far too much coffee, walk us to our cars, cook for us and invite us into their homes, protect us when we are threatened and show an awareness of our daily needs and concerns that is astounding.

I believe their chivalry is worthy of knighthood at times.

I would venture to say that 90% of the men I know are aware of their strength, but choose their battles wisely. As I watch them fight battle after battle, both physical, spiritual and emotional, I am impressed by the absence of arrogance in them and humbly aware of the reason I stand in awe of their strength… because in its purest form, it comes from Christ.

In Him lies their true strength... so much greater than Goliath and so much brighter than the sun.

When man stands in awe of his accomplishments, they are worthless. When man falls to his knees in gratitude for strength to fight the battle, it is powerful.

“For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and self-control.”2 Timothy 1:7

attitude of gratitude

I’m sitting on my couch all curled up in a blanket with a bowl of cap’n crunch berry cereal... Saprina is cooking in the kitchen singing “on top of spaghEEEETTIIII… all covered with CHEEEESE” at the top of her lungs while she cooks up something delectable for dinner.

Joy is laughing on her bed while talking on the phone and her happiness is floating down the hallway, making me want to go find out what’s so funny... oh, and there go Hannah and Lyndsey. They just ran squealing out the door, probably to some store where I’m sure they’ll end up spending at least $10 on something random and hilarious, per most trips they take together.

Danel left a few minutes ago after spending a couple hours laughing, talking, crying and praying with us about life and relationships and God and our desire for his best in our lives.

So, with all that said, I have this symptom that's come from my evaluation of my surroundings tonight…

Gratitude.

It’s consuming me.