TIA (this is africa) #2

tia - this is africa

- while getting on a matatu, if you try to help a little girl up into it, she will hand you her chicken rather than take your hand (not even joking... the whole matatu busted up laughing while a wee one handed me her chicken. i guess the look on my face said it all)
- men who are left without a wife for a day of travel with their toddlers will strap a barstool onto the back of their boda and put the child in the upsidedown barstool. it is the kenyan carseat
- matatu drivers always have pictures of their "relatives" and "very good friends" on the windshields of their vans. everyone is related to, or friends with obama, tyra banks, shakira, akon, 50 cent, and many others
- if a huge group of men on piki pikis (motorcycles) passes you without passengers on their bikes, it's because they dont have licenses to drive, and they are running from the police. there is no such thing as a motorcycle gang here... just the future residents of the kenyan jail cells
- goats, sheep and cows are the pets of choice here... and children dont name them because they could be a pet for a day or a month, but eventually it will be dinner
- if you are white, you are rich... and you dont even need to prove it. kenyans will hand you whatever they're selling, and just stare at you like youre going to pull money out of thin air
- matatu drivers will yank an kenyan woman out of the front seat just to offer you and your white skin the best seat on the vehice... and the closest one to them (all matatu drivers are men)
- kenyan children will grab the flab under your arms and ooooh and aaaaah over it like its gold... because to them, it is. the bigger you are, the higher your dowry when you marry. i wonder how many cows i am worth... i dont think i want to know
- children will commonly shout " 'ow ahre yOU!?" as you pass, because i is the only english they know... and if you respond with "mazuri!" which means "good", they freeze with looks on their faces like "oh, she knows my language... i couldve said something better" but they moment has already passed, so they stare in dumbfounded amazement as you walk or drive on by
- when in town shopping, all kenyans will look you up and down... but if you greet them, they'll stare at the ground and say "mazuri" like theyre a child who has been caught with their hand in the cookie jar