there are no shortcuts...

when asked about why it hurts so much to love and lose awhile back, i had a thought. i forgot about it until i was reminded today:

there are no shortcuts in life or love. pain must be felt. the alternative is much worse. loving so intensely, and yes feeling such terror upon the thought or reality that something we invested every ounce of ourselves in could be torn away in an instant - it's what makes us unique above all else in this world...our capacity to love. with that sometimes comes the pain of remembering ...of feeling how deeply and intensely we love, or have loved...and the heartbroken, desperate response to the knowledge that something so innately pure and beautiful can be twisted in an instant by so many things that could destroy it at every turn. but that pain...that pain is accompanied by something else...hope.

with pain comes hope. somewhere between agony, optimism and prayer we stand at times in an apathetic despair at the crossroads...not knowing which path is the one to take, or if we would oneday have the strength to take a step towards one of the many roads that stretch before us. the knowledge that even though many people surround us, there is a loneliness and an ache that just won't recede for the memory of something that once was.

when we feel that pain...when we come to a place where we can acknowledge that we have experienced true joy, and with that joy, the deepest pain...it is in that moment that we are never more aware of our humanity and our vulnerability. that is the purest of distinctions in life and love...awareness.

the simple distinction that to feel - no matter what we feel - is to be alive; to be alive is to grow towards maturity, acknowledging that we are never finished learning, and will never have all the answers.

that is the beauty of humanity. that is the beauty of our creator.