i asked God a question. drank a lot of coffee. whined my way through a cold winter. was thankful for a "good" snow scraper. lived at the hospital. ran away from people i needed. ran back to their arms that waited. gained two new sisters. wrote a song. felt like i lost my mind. lost a bet with God. said goodbye to a blonde texan. took a walk with a fox. saved a man. worried about my family. loved a hundred people. fought for what i believed in. amazed myself. learned a lesson in self control. walked by a river a midnight. walked beside a hero. stayed up all night. hiked a waterfall and thought i'd die. arrived at the waterfall and realized i'd never truly lived. appreciated strength and cherished grace. felt the pain of a broken heart. took four thousand photos. felt valued. walked the hospital halls a second time. sat in my car until i could tame my tongue. loved my family. talked to a prophet. found rest under the stars. drank a whole beer. ran two miles. loved my brother. gave it to God. grieved a loss. hoped for the future. found my voice. rejoiced with my sister. needed a friend. shut down. was swept off my feet. learned from a child. was wounded. chose to forgive. remembered people are worth the risk. woke up with my bible stuck to my face. spent a day in prayer. knew that God was judge. wanted a man. needed perspective. was humbled by honor. comforted a friend. set boundaries. broke boundaries. set boundaries again. walked hospital halls a third time. felt like an adult. wanted to quit. was cared for. had a purpose. died inside and somehow lived. watched friends grow up overnight. was danced around my kitchen. delighted in a secret. knew i wasn’t alone. was given a family of my own. knew God was faithful.
my whisper was a shout in His ears. my pain hurt Him too. i asked Him a question and it took me a year to hear his voice answering “...because you’re mine.”
Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
