spider attack

i HATE spiders.

no really... i loathe them. theyre creepy and crawly and creepycrawly just does not mix with my dna (that would be female dna in general).

that said, i had quite the horrifying experience last night. picture if you will...

i'm laying in bed at 11pm after a lovely talk with my roommate, and just sending out some last text messages before i head off to dreamland, and something tickled my arm. it was so light, i thought it might be my hair, so i shifted my arm. a few seconds later, i felt it again, so i went to grab my hair and move it. imagine my surprise when i grabbed something alive and moving, instead of a few strands of limp hair!!

yep... that's right. you guessed it. SPIDER! no no, my friends - that is not the end of the story. in shock, i quickly sat up (which KILLED my back) and looked down at my bed...a half dead spider the size of a nickel was scurrying under my unused pillows on the other side of my bed. thats right! apparently he thought my awareness of him was an invitation to share my bed. ugh. you know, given the opportunity, i can think of a few OTHER people i'd like to share my bed with that are.. you know.. HUMAN (aka: NOT ARACHNIDS!)so i leaned over to my nightstand (which ALSO killed my back) and grabbed my empty eye glass case. wielding it at the top of the pillowcase, up on my knees and half naked, i realized this was a very vulnerable situation for the spiders to put me in, and the resentment just fiiiiilled me.

too scared to lift the pillowcase and perhaps find the spider in the same vacinity as the hand i would use to lift the pillow, i was debating my next course of action. he was probably lying in wait for my tasty little finger. ugh. oh the frenzy i can work myself into, in five short seconds. little did i know, the eight legged freak had invited a friend... a much larger friend! so about the time i wielded my eye glass case, should the injured spider venture out from underneath, his spider friend crawled up the other side of the pillow and just sat there, staring me down.

now friends... consider my predicament. on my knees, on my bed, with a spider under the pillow and a spider on top of the pillow. i warred on whether to swat the big uninjured on away or just smush him violently into the fabric of pillow, simply to be rid of him. i think he sensed my unyielding spirit and his following demise, because he leapt off the pillow onto my bed, and retreated under my covers.

at this point, i was so horrified i just threw my covers off my bed, and without giving it a second thought, smashed the lil creepo!

now, i was quite happy with the turn of events until i realized he had a motive to what i thought was his death retreat. that spider elicited a tiny pang in my heart, as i thought "oh noooo" and quickly turned over the pillow where his wounded friend was supposedly hiding.

thats right, folks... lil martyr sacrificed his life so his wounded friend could escape. well, i assure you if his friend makes a comeback, martyrdom or no, i've had some battlefield training now and i will not be so easily surprised from here on... KILL KILL KILL!!