In 2012…
I welcomed a new sister.
Realized how talented my friends are. Went to the airport. Missed my twin.
Loved warm weather in winter. Looked forward to Friday roomie nights. Dreaded
Thursdays. Had a character building experience. Was thankful for men of God.
Was scared. Screamed in the dark. Had an ugly cry and made a wonderful friend.
Didn’t have to explain my tears. Learned discipline and rejoiced in success. Spent
an afternoon throwing pigskin. Wanted to burn a beard. Danced for hours.
Laughed for days. Loved movie marathons on the couch. Couldn’t get enough of my
Saturdays. Jumped in a frozen river and soaked a dry car seat. Enjoyed a few
G&Ts. Waited for word from a distant land. Liked a New Girl. Rocked some
humor with a few Red Robins. Hid behind a white curtain. Did KOR with an
Italian. Flirted with a cowboy. Lasered it off. Got taken out to dinner three
times in one week. Was given the world. Watched a beautiful Brooke bubble over.
Went shooting with men and didn’t shoot them.
Learned to kickbox. Got a trainer. Fashioned a necklace for a fashion plate.
Dumped a bucket of water over his head. Watched some tracker jackers. Hated early
mornings but loved loose skinny jeans. Camped with wilderness beasts. Threw
a 100lb log. Wanted to consume a gallon of ice cream. Didn’t consume a gallon
of ice cream. Booked a flight to Europe. Was devastated by lies and hoped for truth.
Watched him grow up overnight. Saw a little bean on a black and white. Ran 3.5
miles without stopping. Couldn’t move my legs. Was proud of my new sister.
Climbed a building and fell right off. Had good discussions with great women. Grieved
the loss of old friends. Traveled abroad. Climbed a volcano, watched the sun
set into the sea, rode a gondola and curled up with an Italian. Outran a
rainstorm and fell into the arms of a Frenchman. Settled into life and got used
to change. Went to a million weddings; spent almost as much on gifts. Got a
ride from a river rat. Welcomed home some great friends. Became obsessed with
coral. Signed a lease and packed up my life. Hit the five mile mark. Learned
humility. Got scared by a “homeless” man at the river. Was blessed by
hardworking friends. Learned what it means to need people. Was scared to be
vulnerable. Was grateful for my parents. Rested on quiet nights under bright
stars. Pondered my place in his life. Trusted in God’s perfect plan. Formed a
family and created a home. Got a spicy pumpkin from a flirty barista. Journaled for myself and no one else. Got
crafty. Settled in. Wrestled with doubts. Learned to care for myself. Invested
in a new future. Met a stranger and gained a friend. Took a trip to a sunny
game. Shopped and dropped. Caught a rainbow. Survived a night in the wild.
Heard a snoring bear. Sprinkled my sister and danced with Joy. Enjoyed a backyard booth with friends. Became a little teapot. Visited an
infirmary and felt so loved. Was thankful for another year of Faith. Was
reminded of the power in prayer. Said goodbye to my childhood home. Visited a
hill of apples. Ate blackberries from the top of a waterfall. Celebrated an Amber
princess. Danced with an old man. Photographed a birth. Witnessed a miracle.
Watched my sister soar towards her dreams. Enjoyed quiet nights with friends.
Made breakfast for a world traveler. Saw God provide for orphans. Looked
forward to cold nights and a warm fireplace. Put a bird on it. Enjoyed
snoozanville for the last time. Looked forward to something new. Ran my first
10k. Celebrated one year of pounding the pavement. Lost 30 lbs. Peppered the
spa with a bunch of spicy girls. Welcomed my brothers home and met my future sister.
Twirled on the ice. Cried under a Christmas tree. Loved my roommates. Trusted God’s timing. Pursued something
different. Kept a secret. Comforted a friend. Enjoyed Christmas with my entire family
home. Rang in the new year thankful for all it contained.
****************
The fundamental truth of my life is that I have confidence
in who God is and the truth his word brings to my life. He guides my path and
my happiest days can even be amidst some of the hardest, because I know I live
for a purpose… his glory.
That said, for a period of time this year I found it hard to
be consistent in who God has created me to be, but through it all I’ve come to
a better understanding of who I am… and who I live for… yet again. Isn’t that
always how it goes? Humility is a life spent learning and I’ve spent much of
this year being humbled.
This year I’ve also learned the value of listening. I just
shut up. In the absence of my need to speak, I've heard the pain, joy, love, loss and song of life all
around me. It has been nothing short of magical. Quiet on my part, but my voice is insignificant if I don’t have that consistency I spoke of
earlier. I suppose it’s a good thing those two lessons worked together as they
did.
My name is Hope. It
means “belief and expectation of fulfillment”.
Let’s see where these lessons lead as I enter this new year embracing who I am with the “belief and expectation of fulfillment.”
