neverending optimism

in 2011...

2012-01-25T07:00:00.000-08:00

i asked God a question. drank a lot of coffee. whined my way through a cold winter. was thankful for a "good" snow scraper. lived at the hospital. ran away from people i needed. ran back to their arms that waited. gained two new sisters. wrote a song. felt like i lost my mind. lost a bet with God. said goodbye to a blonde texan. took a walk with a fox. saved a man. worried about my family. loved a hundred people. fought for what i believed in. amazed myself. learned a lesson in self control. walked by a river a midnight. walked beside a hero. stayed up all night. hiked a waterfall and thought i'd die. arrived at the waterfall and realized i'd never truly lived. appreciated strength and cherished grace. felt the pain of a broken heart. took four thousand photos. felt valued. walked the hospital halls a second time. sat in my car until i could tame my tongue. loved my family. talked to a prophet. found rest under the stars. drank a whole beer. ran two miles. loved my brother. gave it to God. grieved a loss. hoped for the future. found my voice. rejoiced with my sister. needed a friend. shut down. was swept off my feet. learned from a child. was wounded. chose to forgive. remembered people are worth the risk. woke up with my bible stuck to my face. spent a day in prayer. knew that God was judge. wanted a man. needed perspective. was humbled by honor. comforted a friend. set boundaries. broke boundaries. set boundaries again. walked hospital halls a third time. felt like an adult. wanted to quit. was cared for. had a purpose. died inside and somehow lived. watched friends grow up overnight. was danced around my kitchen. delighted in a secret. knew i wasn’t alone. was given a family of my own. knew God was faithful.

my whisper was a shout in His ears. my pain hurt Him too. i asked Him a question and it took me a year to hear his voice answering “...because you’re mine.”

Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

everyone longs to be valued

2011-08-31T11:01:00.000-07:00

A while back I hung out with a zillion people at a friend’s house and I spent a majority of the evening people watching and allowing my mind to wander as I went from conversation to conversation with friends, both new and old.

I love people.

I love watching the timidity of first introductions, the covert second glances fueled by attraction, other people abandoning themselves to bursts of joyous laughter and the look of triumph on someone’s face as their joke is understood and reveled in.

There are always quiet people in corners listening to loud people telling stories, best friends in deep conversations acknowledging their familiarity in a touch on the shoulder or a pat on the back. It’s a jumble when it’s all happening at one time, but when you pay attention to the details it’ll teach you a lot about the people you’re around and it’s better than any reality show in the world.

If we pay attention, it’s like watching scenes from a real-life performance on desire, trust and intimacy being acted out right in front of us. Who has earned it? Who is seeking it? Who is terrified?

Every person desires that intimate connection with another person… even if they don’t know how to ask for it, what to do if they get it, or if it even exists…

We all want that person we can wave at from across the room and go sit by and just let out a deep breath because they KNOW us. Our true selves can be at rest around them.

It takes time to establish that familiarity with another person. Time invested in communication… a desire to know that person, and in turn, to be known by that person as well. After all... to know and be known... that's the definition of intimacy, right?

“Communication leads to community, that is, to understanding, intimacy and mutual valuing.”
-Rollo May

Value the people in your life. Value them to the extent that no encouraging word goes unsaid, no insecurity is left to grow in silence and no one you love is left to wonder if you truly SEE them for who they are.

Let's value one another...

the price of our tears

2011-08-17T09:32:00.000-07:00

we studied Luke 7 tuesday night at my home church.

the whole night i was so filled with emotion i couldnt talk. its so hard reading the story of Mary, the harlot who visited Jesus and in the middle of a crowd of people who loathed her for her lifestyle, knelt at his feet and covered them with her tears. her vulnerability is inspiring.

it's so important to remember that this story is meant to help us realize that WE were once the harlot running to His feet, washing them with our tears... his kindness, mercy and patience led US to repentance (Romans 2:4).

we don't know the cost of the oil in someone else's alabaster box, but we know what was in OURS... what our past and our sin and those "treasures" we stored up, were...
we know what we accumulated, only to willingly pour it out at Jesus's feet when we realized HE was the only treasure worth keeping.

what sadness he must feel as he watches us -even now- fill our lives with so much pointless gargabe, not focusing on eternity and his Glory. what abundant joy he must feel when we see our sinful state and run to his merciful arms...

it's so beautiful to think of how Mary poured out the oil and spices once used for her trade... once used to allure and seduce... upon his feet.

perhaps she was given them as a gift from a customer or purchased it with money earned in her prostitution... and Jesus isn't revolted. how beautiful. all of her past and all the things that gave her meaning before are why she was compelled by his patient mercy and love to lay herself at his feet and worship him for who he was to her. her saviour. the one who showed her what her worth TRULY was.

he gave her back her beauty in front of those who saw her as filth.

we may not understand the way someone worships God, but that's because it's only for Him. he's the only one that counts... and if we don't understand why that is, we need to go wash his feet with our tears again so we remember what if felt like when he was all we needed.

a mattress flipped me off... into the river

2011-08-14T01:37:00.000-07:00

my alarm went off at 7am this morning and i genuinely wanted to wake up. truly, i did. my roommate saprina and our friend mike were running in a 70s themed 5k at 8am and i had every intention of going and watching them compete in their neon 70s outfits... until my alarm clock went off.

then i decided sleep sounded better.

upon deciding to sleep more, i realized i technically committed to going tubing down the truckee river with friends at 12pm so i set my alarm for 11. when it went off again, i decided i didn't want to go tubing. sleep just sounded better than anything else today. after all, i hadnt really PROMISED to go tubing... or had i? my phone buzzed and a friend was asking details about the trip. dangit.

well, i got up and stood in the middle of my room deciding what to do. to go, or not to go... that was the question. how many events today could i get away with NOT going on when people wanted me to?

i decided that if i didn't like how i looked in my bathing suit, i wasn't going. that would be it. i hadn't had my coffee yet, so i wasn't in a good mood and so chances are, i'd hate what i looked like and it would be my excuse and all my friends would have to understand. i'd just pull the "i didn't look good in anything i tried on" card and no one would be able to question me... girls are allowed to pull that card every now and then. ;o)

i changed andi checked myself out in the mirror, and decided i looked good. damn.

okay, plan b: if i didn't have sufficient river gear, i wouldnt be able to go. wouldn't you know, i found all the river gear i needed and after a few more failed excuses, i was headed with everyone to the river. awesome.

of all the mornings for me to get myself together in a half hour, it had to be today... the one day i've wanted to just sleep the day away?! freakin geez. whatever. i made the best of it.

we got to the river and had a few laughs since i'd decided to carry on my tradition of floating the river on an air mattress. it looks comical, but when the river goes from 7ft deep in parts to 8 inches deep (if that) in other shallow parts, riding it on tubes is quite an ab workout. i prefer to relax and float rather than hike my butt up and go straight as a board to avoid getting bruised from rocks on my butt or tailbone. it can be quite brutal.

today, my brother who is 6'7 took his scuba flippers with him because he had the genius idea for he and i to sit on opposite ends of the double inflated camping mattress and power down the river at great speed. with him propelling us through the rapids and shallows with his flippers, we laughed at everyone else exhausting themselves by hiking their butts up out of the water every time they saw a rock ahead.

it was great fun... until i "pulled a hope" and fell off the mattress backwards in some rapids, slamming my head on a rock. the cracking sound your head makes underwater when slamming into a rock is almost worse than the pain.

the next time my friends saw me, i'd flung myself dramatically over my end of the mattress and my brother was propelling us as fast as he could into shallow water where i could get out safely and situate myself before we through any OTHER rapids. it was quite the drama, especially when my contacts started falling out and i had to get them back in while floating down a river! i'm awesome. not accident proned at all.

i fell off the mattress a couple more times throughout the day, but none as bad as the first and thankfully, no more rocks connecting with my skull.

i am now a deep shade of tannish red and quite enjoying the thought of cruising the river again even though it may mean death. knowing me, next time i'll get strangled in some kind of fishing line or something... it would just figure.

much thanks to nathan for keeping me alive and making surfing the truckee on an air mattress a heck of a lot of fun!

a fight with skinny jeans

2011-08-11T12:52:00.001-07:00

By some form of magic that I can only describe as divine intervention, I am currently wearing a pair of skinny jeans.

That's right, they are now fastened to my body and hugging me in a way that –at times- has made me feel downright scandalous today.

It all started with Lindsey Lohan and her freaking leggings… and then the wear-pants-so-tight-you-just-look-naked trend migrated to tiny little hipster girls and emo boys until somehow it freakishly got to us adult women, too.

They’re on… and they’re staying on. Literally. I doubt they'd move an inch.

It was not easy to get into these jeans, though… no, no. It was not.

I’m pretty sure now that I got them on, I’m just going to live in them. Even the thought of having to peel them off is enough to make me work up a sweat.

I’m not a morning person, as you all well know… so when I picked up the skinny jeans this morning in an only half awake state and dozingly pulled them on, imagine my surprise when I stood up and they were still only halfway up my shins.

I not-so-amusedly bent down and pulled again, but the fabric was fastened there like grappling hooks. It’s really a wonder that my feet even fit through the tapered legs of what can only be described as pantyhose, fashioned out of jean material.

There’s really nothing quite as visually comical as imagining what we girls look like as we hook our thumbs through the belt loops of a pair of jeans and jump in the air, all the while, perfectly timing erratic kicks that look like a mid-air combat routine... and all of this, simply to pull a pair of jeans over our hips so they fit right!

Nothing feels better than winning that mid-air judo match when you’re able to button those jeans and zip em up!

I looked at myself in the mirror and approvingly smiled. I grabbed my toothbrush and took a step to head to the bathroom… and almost tripped. I could barely bend my knees.

I set my toothbrush down, grabbed the belt loops again and threw myself into a good five minutes of pulling, stretching, cinching and lunging, to stretch the fabric in all the right places. My aerobic workout produced a very successful end result and I was thrilled.

On my way into work today, I felt like a runway model. Ironically, I had no makeup on because half my morning routine was used on getting into my amazing jeans, but who needs mascara when you’re wearing hott heels and a pair of jeans that you LITERALLY paid to get into with your blood, sweat and tears?

The End.

how could it get better than this?

2010-08-11T13:39:00.000-07:00

nearly a year ago, my sister faith sat in my livingroom on my couch and shared her dream of a Community girls house with me.

i thought it was a beautiful idea until she said "and i feel like i should let you know that i won't do this unless you're a part of it. i respect your influence in the lives of the people around us... it wouldn't be the same without you... so i'm just gonna let you know right now that i'm starting to pray that God moves you out of your house with your roommates and into whatever home he leads us to."

i was happy in my cute little home with my awesome roommates and had no desire to move.

sometimes faith sounds a little insane... but i've realized people listening to the voice of God, rather than the rationality of man usually do sound insane.

so... being the loving and supportive sister i am, i told her i thought she was crazy and we moved on.

almost a year later, God has done miraculous things. he changed my heart and started to give me insight into this vision of safety and community for young women that he'd given faith. little did i know that in some ways my inability to commit to this vision was because of work that He needed to do in my life.

within six months He repaired vital relationships that were pivotal to his purpose and plan for the girls house and led me down a path that led to a hunger to see what he would do with this vision.

when we came upon a "closed door" while waiting for the house we knew he had in store for us, we got on our knees and prayed for Him to make his will known to us... and he always did.

Jesus handpicked a house for me, faith, joy and saprina and we all moved into our new house a few months ago. when we moved in, we committed our new house to Him and prayed that he would make it evident to us in ways that only he could, if he wanted any other young women to join us... and he answered.

our lovely hannah joined us a couple weeks ago, and our home has never felt more complete.

ironically, it never felt empty before... but that's the way God works sometimes, isnt it? God's plans always make life seem fuller and more complete... no matter how good it seemed to be in the first place.

i get up every morning already anticipating what joy the day will hold when i get home from work. who wrote a love note on the refridgerator whiteboard? whose laughter will echo through our home? what happy conversations will take place around our dinner table? what new truth about His beauty has God revealed to someone today?

my days seem more alive with suspense as i look forward to what my day will hold and what new way i'll see God show up for me and the ladies i live with. i know we'll come home bursting with stories that we can't wait to share.

...and every night i go to bed way too late, because sacrificing sleep to laugh on my livingroom floor as faith, joy, saprina, hannah and i try to pry ourselves away from each other's company just makes my life complete.

how could it get better than this?

photogs and glamour shots

2010-05-07T08:05:00.000-07:00

Besides me taking pictures with my personal camera, there are a lot of cameras on this ship. Every other night they have professional pictures available to pose for and they’re quite fun! For us Hepner sisters we are interested in everything to do with being the center of attention, it's a dream come true.

The ship videographer followed us around for a bit during photographs and it was fun posing for him and letting him capture our moments of glee.

When he left, Joy decided to pose for an individual shot. The young photographer snapping her picture was having a lot of fun too, and we didn’t blame him. It was pretty obvious just how much fun he was having when I said “wait, fix your necklace, joy” and he jumped forward to help her as I countered with “don’t YOU help her!” I know, I know... he was just trying to help. Mmmmhmmm. ;o)

That might’ve been my favorite part of the night as he stepped back and he and Joy BOTH turned various shades of purple. Upon checking out the pictures he later took of her, we about died laughing at the forced, laughter-induced smile on her face… she was beet red from embarrassment. She miiiight have hated me, but I loved it! I should've bought that picture just for the memories.

But hey, her necklace was straight.

Another time, I saw a tuxedo on display beside a photo booth and decided I should be allowed to take a picture with this non-existent man since I was without one on this cruise, and the photographer LET ME. It was by far the funniest pictures we have taken, and Faith’s was priceless.

For Faith's picture, there was a sash involved. Yep… a sash around his nonexistent neck.

"i could ask for anything i want and i'd get it..."

2010-05-06T12:02:00.000-07:00

Every afternoon we’re usually back on the ship around 3pm… just in time for afternoon tea. One day we were seated with some of my evergrowing fan club from karaoke, and yesterday we were seated with Linda and Dan.

We are favorites with the waiters on staff in the dining room for meals and food service, so try imagining Dan and Linda’s faces when all of a sudden we had five waiters at our table and the other tables around us were noticeably neglected. We had tea, sandwiches, dessert and scones before anyone else even had their water for tea poured. Danel was relishing the benefits of being in our company as usual, but this attention was completely new to Linda and Dan.

Eventually Dan got the drift though… if you are at our table, no request takes longer than 60 seconds to fulfill. He asked for something and when it came within seconds, he leaned across the table towards Danel and said, “I don’t think we’ve received this much attention during the whole trip! I‘m pretty sure I could ask for anything I want right now!” and Danel said “I know, isn’t it great hanging around them?”

We had a good laugh when about a minute later when our waiter came by and said “more scones?” and I joked “another coronary?” as he added the huge dollops of cream, butter, jam and honey to each one.

Dan figured he could have extra, since the doctor would be there within seconds if he DID have a coronary. :o)

princess popstar karaoke!

2010-05-06T12:00:00.000-07:00

Ummm… karaoke is SO MUCH fun. I’ve never done karaoke in front of a crowd before and I absolutely LOVE it!!! It’s so different than leading worship or something. It just rocks my face off. I got up the guts to sing and when I did, I rocked out in the middle of Club Fusion’s dance floor to a little Rascal Flatts. Everyone loved it, and thus began my fan club… yes, fan club. An older 70yr old guy named Sherman (whose claim to fame was being able to audition on American Idol in ‘06) flipped out when he heard me sing and told me “You need to try out. You know, before you leave the ship you need to get my number and when you go to try out for American Idol, if it’s LA that you try out in, I’ll be one of the people in line with you!” I was flattered.
The next night, Sherman told me he wanted my address so he could send me some jewelry. Ummm… no. Night three he gave me a CD a producer recorded of him. Then, in the airport on my way home I looked at the CD for the first time and lo and behold... a love note and his phone number inside. Good grief.

I like being a celebrity on the ship. People (both passengers and crew) stop me at least twice a day to ask about my next song, when I’ll sing next, or tell me how stupid the other contestants are. It’s hysterical. Danel feels like a celebrity too, because she’s with me all the time. I was in the lunch buffet line and got stopped by a young guy named Adam who told me I’m his favorite and he can’t wait til I perform again… to which joy whispered in my ear when he walked away “omigosh, you found the first attractive guy on the ship!” He later introduced me to his whole family… ha.

Another night I was in a picture line and a guy and his wife -both from Carson City- stopped and told me they couldn’t believe I didn’t get picked for the first heat (they have karaoke contests a couple nights of this week) and went on and on about how much talent they think I have. He even pulled out his video camera and showed me that he had videotaped me. He likes to videotape karaoke so he can post the bad ones online but his wife says mine will NOT be posted with the bad ones. Haha… good to know.

The best story by far has to be my “Drunk Bodyguard” one though. We were coming out of Club Fusion after Karaoke one night and a group of half drunken people were walking behind us. We turned around to glance at their antics and as soon as they recognized me, one guy yelled “You got ROBBED GIRL! Robbed! Seriously, how’d that guy win? You kidding me?” and then just as soon, his buddy splits off from the rest and starts trying to open an exit door as his wife and friends yell at him through drunken slurs to stop or they’d get arrested.

I warned his wife that he’d go overboard if he went outside, but she promptly yelled at him to do exactly that. He must be a bit too flirtatious with the female persuasion when drunk, because I think she would’ve PUSHED him overboard if she’d had the chance. Now, the guy who yelled I’d been robbed before, being the most vocal of the drunks, struck up a conversation and after a comment from me about how he was the only fan onboard who could be my bodyguard, posed for a “celebrity vs. paparazzi” picture. I'm "scared" of the paparrazi in this picture...

Danel was in fits of laughter by the time they all walked away. She’s decided hanging out with a celebrity is about as much fun as she can handle.

Then came the reeeeeally fun part. The audience voted for me to be a part of the "Princess Popstar Karaoke Finals". Oh man, I was so excited!

I sang "Any Man of Mine" by Shania Twain, and it was so much fun. Did a lil dancin and the whole place was packed with people. We had to go downstairs and then come running up a circular staircase after a camera caught us waving to the audience and when we were done performing, a guest judge panel of three of the ship's mucky mucks all gave us feedback. It was more for fun than anything else, and everyone got a kick out of it!

Afterwards the crowd's votes were tallied and a new friend of mine named Lee won for his performance of "My Girl". I've learned that knowing your audience (which included 80% gray haired men and women) is an important as the performance itself. Danel introduced me to a lady from Reno who was just adorable, and she let me know she'd voted for me.

We were each given a bottle of champagne, some little gifts from the ship, and a medal. All my fan club found me that night and also said goodbye since the karaoke nights were over and they probably wouldn't find me again. It was such a great end to the karoke adventures.

I loved being a celebrity...

missing my cell phone...

2010-05-06T11:56:00.000-07:00

I really love my cell phone… it sits on my cruise boat bedside just because I feel like I’ve lost an appendage when I can’t use it. Seriously, it’s so hard. I am sure if the ship had service that I could even contribute to the Captain’s duties by helping him navigate. Blackberrys can do anything, people… anything. Do you see how it would actually benefit him if I had service? ;o)

That said, I went through withdrawals the first day onboard. No texting, phone service, or face book. Weird. I was fine though… I’m mature enough to realize that I wasn’t going to get it no matter how much whining I did, so I just accepted it. Now I actually (pretend to) enjoy the disconnectedness.

Confession time… I sometimes ride the elevators just so I can push the buttons. It makes me feel better. “What floor?” I’ll ask. “Floor 10 please” a passenger will say, and I’ll lunge for the buttons before another passenger can do it. Now I just stand in front of the panel with my back to the passengers and help them out by hitting the floors when they need me to.

One lady got in the elevator and said “Floor 5” and we were so packed that I HAD to push the button for her, but I made a texting motion and cracked a joke about elevator buttons being my proxy so I wouldn’t miss my phone so much. The whole elevator started laughing, and I knew I wasn’t the only one who missed my phone.

Yes, that’s right, people… those were the laughs of Iphone deprived humans praying for a quicker arrival in Puerto Vallarta where they had service.

For me… well, I will continue to dream of little clickety clicks of the keypad under my fingertips and keep controlling the elevator button controls every time I get the chance.

Oh… and I would be remiss to not mention a run in with the Elevator Nazi the second day we were onboard. We got on a lift and it was pretty full, but a handicapped woman with a walker needed to get on, so Faith and I cheerily invited her on, helped her lock her walker and take a seat before we started the elevator again. She was so thankful, but another lady onboard was definitely not. She was probably disappointed that she wouldn’t be able to pack on those 7-14 lbs a bit faster, and upon getting off the elevator for the buffet about 30 seconds slower than she would‘ve liked, she sneered “well isn’t this just the NICEST elevator ever.”

Elevator Nazi. Fact.

plate? more like platter...

2010-05-06T11:55:00.000-07:00

The Biggest Loser trainers would have a coronary just stepping onto this ship. I'm not kidding. I'm pretty sure they'd burn the buffet AND the five dining rooms and tell us all to jump overboard and spear fish for our dinner or we wouldn't be allowed back onboard... and then the evil trainer lady would flaunt her perfect abs in HER swimsuit and we WOULD spear something. Mutiny. That's all I'm sayin.

Anyways... were starving. It was like 2pm and we were ready for some grub. Little did I know that’d be the last time I felt hunger pangs for a week… HOLY CRAP.

The food lines here go really fast, but it’s just because you grab a little bit of everything -even if you think you wont like it- just because you can. When I got in line I grabbed a plate for the buffet and someone, Joy or Danel, said “that’s not a plate” and I looked around and realized I’d grabbed the dessert (normal dinner sized plate) and everyone else had what looked like PLATTERS for their food. I shrugged and grabbed a platter and jumped in line.

So much food… too small of a stomach.

Faith and Danel insisted on taking a tour of the boat, so we did. Ironically, we took a tour of the spa (and Gym facilities) after lunch. The gym instructor, who looked like a younger, tanner, Jean Claude Vandamm (with bad highlights), told us the average person gains 7-14 lbs on a cruise and we girls looked at each other and moved on. Poor highlighted, buff, food nazi dude… but he wasn’t about to guilt us into visiting the gym. No siree.

Throughout the rest of the tour we’d look up and see a notification for “Deck 5” about the time Faith would say “now we’re on Deck 5” and this happened with every area, deck, club, bar or restaurant we came to. She was so excited I didn’t have the heart to shut her up. I’m just surprised Danel let her lead the way. Sometimes being around these two administrators is like having ropes on each of your arms and being in the middle of a tug of war towards one woman‘s intuition or the other‘s. Ha!

The Sailaway party as we left the LA Port was so much fun. Jamaican music and not-yet-sunscorched people all getting trashed on margaritas and dancing with strangers. They just enjoyed alot of laughing, drinking and hooking up... and all in the first couple hours onboard. Partaaaay. Oh boy...

Faith and I and Joy joined the conga line and danced for a bit and then we left to go get changed for dinner.

My first experience at the served dinner was awesome. Napkin in my lap, waiters named Dennis and Edgardo at our service, and the Princess treatment was served up in style. Danel explained that there were no rules when it came to dinner, so we ordered whatever and however much we wanted of EVERYTHING! We can watch the water out the dining room windows and it’s so surreal to enjoy a great meal while watching the world float by.

We four ladies have our very own table. It is pretty stinkin great, and we laugh when we see awkward conversations happening -or trying to happen- at tables nearby. Our waiters obviously love us too, because they are extremely attentive. Danel loves watching everyone react to Faith and I and Joy… like bears to honey. I guess the old addige is true: “Nothing promotes speculation more than the sight of a woman enjoying herself”… and there are four of us! Lucky.

Danel likes to point out that we always seem to have more than our fair share of waiters around our table, and at least once every night, one of them gets in trouble for neglecting another table - and sometimes in a different section of the dining room. The other night we had four around us… all of them trying to stump Joy on a joke or trick of some kind.

We went to the welcome aboard show with dancing and singing after dinner and Danel almost tripped and tanked it down the theater stairs. We can tell we’ll have to watch her close and make sure she doesn’t fall over some railings or something. She can barely stay upright on solid ground, let alone a rocking cruise ship. We have a battle plan… Faith on the right arm, Joy on the left, and me behind her… at all times.

Oh... and by the way, her balance problems onboard are caused by wearing shoes like this...

We should just LET her fall. Sometimes children need to learn lessons the hard way. ;o)

to LAX or bust!

2010-05-06T11:52:00.000-07:00

Leaving Reno is always so fun and exciting… especially if you know you’re about to experience something like Faith and I getting to go on our first cruise. AAAAAH!! So freakin cool.

We got to the airport and my bags were overweight. Holy crap… I went to Africa and didn’t have overweight bags, but apparently I overpack when going on a cruise. Whatever. Faith helped me reorganize (that’s why I go places with her) and we checked in our bags.

Danel was late -or on time, depending on how early we debate people are supposed to arrive before flights- so when she came, we’d had a few minutes to sit by ourselves and that’s never good. Idle time and impatient adventurers makes for a lot of giggling and stupid jokes, but it was fun times.

Speaking of idle time... Joy and I nearly shot Faith. She was so excited that she couldn’t stay quiet… we listened to her nonstop commentary on half of a Vogue magazine before Danel arrived. Faith would say things like “omigosh this girl looks so beautiful” regarding some nutritionally deprived teenager who looked like you could snap her in half like a breadstick -something she obviously has never had the privilege of eating- and Joy would gasp with laughter as I looked at the picture in question and say “she just looks hungry to me”.

So… this is the way our hour or so of waiting for the plane to depart went. It was even funnier to have Danel along as she provided new entertainment for us as well. Purchasing $16 worth of snacks and diet soda from airport gift shops before ever leaving was pretty darn awesome to watch. I was sure she’d leave with the whole store, but alas she knew even if her pockets were deep, her bladder wasn’t. Sorry, Danel.

Our plane was so small it was like “Rescuers Down Under” sized. Flying on the wing of a seagull small… in comparison to normal jets, I guess. We walked down the airport ramp onto the ptarmack and then up into the plane via little stairs. Thank you Horizon Air for making me feel like a princess embarking on my own private jet… and thank you flight attendant for reminding upon my entry to the tiny cabin where you were stooping over to greet me, that that’s just not my reality. We got onboard and a large and loudly unpleasant man was yelling at the stewardess that his air conditioning was broken. She did her best to fix his problem as Danel and Faith and Joy and I found our assigned seats.

Faith and Joy found their seats, but a man was sitting in one of theirs and was obviously confused with assigned seats. Faith clued him in and he gave a very heartfelt apology in an AUSTRALIAN ACCENT and went to the front of the plane to find his seats, where those people warmly welcomed he and his beautiful accent. I glared at Faith as his hearty happy laughter in the front of the plane was drowned out by Mr. Loud and Obnoxious sitting behind us. Faith is so dense sometimes… ;o)

The stewardess informed us that there was only one bathroom on board - all the way in front, second door on the right - SECOND door on the right, she repeated. I wondered why and then realized the THIRD door on the right was the Captain’s deck and imagined that Horizon Air probably has a lot more fake terrorist scares than larger airlines since the bathroom door looks very similar to the Captain’s deck one. Can you imagine Mr. Loud and Obnoxious getting taken out by the three stewardesses as he starts banging on the Captain’s deck door thinking it was the bathroom? Good grief. Our biggest worry was Joy making it through the flight but she did great under the influence of two Dramamine tablets. She was a bit out of it the whole day after that though.

Danel was laughing pretty much nonstop as I was making friends with everyone on the plane that we met (except Mr. Loud and Obnoxious), so imagine her delight when my next friend became Mr. Matrix in front of me. He was a good natured man with sunglasses that made him look like he was Morpheus from the Matrix. It was awesome! When our flight was over and I had Faith snap a picture of Danel and I, he randomly stuck his head in our picture and thus began my random adventures with strange men.

We arrived in LA after what seemed like the shortest flight ever (maybe when you‘re that small, you get shorter faster routes since all the cool kids are flying in their 747s up higher). I asked the stewardess for permission to disembark after everyone else so that I could take a picture exiting the plane. She laughed and agreed, so I have pictures to prove my desired reality of a Princess lifestyle on the steps of “my“ airplane. Mr. Matrix laughed and watched our photo session long after his luggage was ready for him and Danel got a kick out of that.

As we got our luggage and hoofed it across half of LAX to where we could catch a taxi to the Pier we needed to be at, Danel said in a shocked voice “I don’t think I can remember the last time I carried my own luggage.” We realized the same was true for all of us and we’re happy to acknowledge that whenever we’re around the men in our lives we ARE Princesses. We don’t need no stinking cruise! ;o)

Aaaaand then we got the ship.

Now… when Faith giggles, it’s usually stop and go… like a chipmunk with hiccups… but this time I thought there was something medically wrong with our chipmunk. I don’t think she stopped giggling for the entire half hour that we checked in, took a picture, crossed the boat ramp and entered the boat. It went like this
“maam, this is your room key”
“hehehe. Thank you”.
“maam, let me take your luggage from you”
“hehehehehe. I’M GOING ON A CRUISE!!!”
“yes maam, you are. Will you need me to show you to your room?”
“no. hehehe. I’m going to FIND IT MYSELF. It’s an adventure!! Heehee”

… and so on and so forth. Omigosh. I hadn’t ever been on a cruise either, but going with her made the experience oh so much more exciting. Her smile was blinding, people.

We had arrived on the cruise ship, and no one even needed to ask if we’d ever been on a cruise ship before. Faith’s giggle alone was the answer to that question.

i'm going on a cruise!

2010-04-23T09:59:00.000-07:00

i'm going on a cruise!

it's my first cruise and i'm so excited i can barely contain my glee. i will be leaving tomorrow morning with my friend danel, twin sister faith and our sister joy. mexican rivierra for seven days? yes please...

it's been more than a year since i've taken a larger lump of time off. a day here and a day there gets routine after awhile, although every moment of every vacation day is equally appreciated and relished with mornings spent sleeping in, some relaxation and then finding some low maintenance friend to enjoy the day with.

so as thoughts of this cruise run through my head, i really have no idea what to expect other than what's in the cruise brochure and confirmation letters we receive. disappointingly, i've dealt with a loss of creativity in my girlish brain... all i can think about is romantic adventures... and it's all leonardo's fault.

when i think of my cruise, i can't stop thinking titanic. all my stinkin facebook status's in the last week have been things like:

"this time next week, i do believe i'll queue up some celine dion on the ipod, stand on the front of my cruise ship and wait for leonardo to come help me 'fly'..."

and

"what if I get to dance below ship on my cruise with a band of handsome ruffians just like Rose got to do on Titanic?"

it's just so amusing. to think about being stuck on a big boat in the middle of the ocean with thousands of strangers... to ponder the new temporary (or long term) friendships that could be struck up... adventures with random people from all different walks of life... it's so exciting!

here's hoping i don't get stung by jellyfish while snorkeling, baked on a beach for lack of sunscreen or fall off a mountain while riding a horse up to waterfalls in puerto vallarta...

see you on the flip side!

if i can blog my adventures from the ship, i'll try...

damsel in distress

2009-07-27T09:08:00.000-07:00

i often wonder why God has always provided for my transportation needs in the form of clunker cars. but then around the time i get to wondering that, he likes to remind me with little things every now and then, why he does so.

this morning started out with an adventure when my car battery died at a stoplight on the freeway offramp near my work.

now, although my car is an adventure that i love experiencing, it doesn't mean i dont have those moments of silent panic and then prayer when my car dies in the middle of an intersection, with traffic behind me.

this morning, my silent - and feminine - prayer to heaven went kinda like this:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! (that was the feminine part) Jesus, i dont know what to do. please have it start again!!!

i tried to start it again, to no avail. my battery was dead. can't have someone jump my car in the middle of the road, that's for sure.

okay, okay... what would dad do if he were here? put your emergency lights on. okay... done. now what? direct the traffic behind you to go around.

i got out of my car and signaled the cars behind me to go around, and got back in my car, gripping the steering wheel as if my desperation alone would turn the car back on.

calm down, hope. take a deep breath... you've dealt with worse than this, before. granted... not in rush hour traffic on an offramp, but still! now, what is the next step? the car wont turn over, and there is no one around to rescue you... except maybe that guy!

i watched as a big burly harley davidson-clad man walked across the crosswalk in front of me. i visually measured up his size and breathed a sigh of relief as i thought surely, he is on his way to help me... i am obviously a damsel in distress, here.

not so much.

icky harley dude just leered at me from across the intersection, as i got out of my car. when i saw the look in his eyes, i got right back in my car. the light went green, and i got an idea.

i put my car in neutral, took a deep breath, and put my shoulder into the driver's side door while steering the car and pushing it with all my might. holy CRAP, lil redhottness is HEAVY!!

you would think by now that harley dude would stop leering and help, but no no, my friends... he just stood there... five feet away from a woman pushing her car through an intersection, and just watched me do it.

i sent up a silent prayer as i saw that the parking lot of the walgreens that i was heading towards had a significant increase in elevation, and there was no way i'd be able to push my car up it. you'd think pushing a smaller car would be easy, but it's not.

i saw a blur of movement to my left, and watched a young man dash across four lanes of traffic towards me. he yelled at me to get in my car and steer, and with what i can only describe as heroic strength, pushed me and my car up the incline and into the walgreens parking lot.

i put my car in park and got out, and the first words out of my adrenaline-crazed hero's mouth, echoed my own thoughts from moments before...

"what the hell was that guy doing, just WATCHING you push your car across the intersection? GOD... I'M SO SORRY!! are you okay?!"

although sufficiently out of breath, i was touched by his unneeded apology on behalf of harley dude. i smiled and assured him i was fine. "thank you so much for rescuing me... i didnt know how i was going to push it up that incline!" i gestured back at the entrance to the parking lot.

he smiled as if he knew just how big that 3 inch rise was, when pushing a car and its driver up it. he put his hands on his hips and quickly looked behind him. an empty truck was parked on the side of the road, half a block away. i realized his concern, as he stuck his hand in his pocket, taking out the keys to his truck. "glad to help... are you good?"

"yeah, totally... i've got it from here. THANK YOU!"

"no problem!" ... he waved in my direction as he darted across the four lanes of traffic back to his abandoned vehicle. i glanced across the intersection, from him jumping in his truck, and driving in the direction of the fading figure of harley dude, walking towards downtown reno.

i like to imagine that he was going to give him a piece of his mind...

so, there's my adventure for the morning.

i met man this morning, and what a man he was!

"If we are strong, our strength will speak for itself. If we are weak, words will be of no help." - John Fitzgerald Kennedy

birthday surprise... kenyan style

2009-07-24T10:32:00.001-07:00

MVI_0601
Originally uploaded by hopiface

i found this video in my africa archives (can they be archives if it was only a few months ago?) and i thought you all would enjoy seeing a birthday surprise, kenyan style.

mike christensen's wife manon planned a huge surprise party and dinner for him while i was there, and the kids all gathered at the back of the house while he came around the corner, not knowing what awaited him.

anytime anyone was celebrated in kenya while i was there, there was singing and dancing involved... as you can see.

the day ended in laughter and food and fun and games with all the kiddos...

tubing the truckee with umbrella sails

2009-07-20T09:43:00.000-07:00

my sister autumn and i are - to say the least - a bit spunky. seldom when we get together, are we doing anything the normal, or obvious, way it should be done. yesterday was no exception.

it has been extremely hot in reno the last couple weeks, and our group of friends have gone tubing a couple times to ease the heat. despite sunscorched flesh and heat exhaustion from being outdoors, it makes the heat a little more bearable if you're in the water and going on an adventure.

yesterday autumn and i wanted to go on the tubing trip down the truckee river, so i checked all three sports authority stores in reno, and of course walmart... not a single store had river tubes.

it was a tragedy.

i called autumn and notified her we would not be able to go down the river. i went home and moped on my couch for a couple minutes, and then got a brilliant idea. i ran to my garage and hauled my huge double inflation, queen sized ozark mattress into my living room. five minutes later, thanks to my electric hand pump, it was filling my livingroom floor.

it was a go!! i called autumn and informed her i was going downt he river on my mattress with or without her. she loved the idea too, so she headed over. i didnt want to be sunburned very bad, so i put on sunscreen and got out my umbrella around the same time autumn showed up with the exact same thing.

a while later and we were headed to the river with our friends, trying to figure out the best way to haul our huge mattress through my neighborhood and to the river's edge. we succeeded, and were soon on our way down the truckee.

it was soon evident that our floating party of seven was not going to stay together. autumn and i were whizzing by them all, as we realized our umbrellas doubled as not only sun shade, but wind sails as well. when people stood up to walk their tubes over the shallow riverbed with rocks and all, our durable ozark mattress just skimmed over the top of em.

many women stared in envy at our floating mattress of relaxation, and our shaded faces as we just floated along when there was no wind... and we could tell many of the men we passed wished there was a way to copy us and not lose their man cards by taking an umbrella out on the river with them.

our friends soon became envious of our speed or travel, and after they caught up to us, they had a blast hooking their legs over our mattress to be carried along with us. tragically, my sister faith ended up kicking open the air hole on the mattress when she threw her legs over, and i couldnt get to it quickly enough to stop a large amount of air from exiting our party float.

it was humbling to stand in the middle of the river trying to inflate our mattress manually, while all the people we passed floated by. it became quite the spectator sport as i yelled sassy comments at my sister faith who had stolen my umbrella by this time, and the other tubers on the river laughed out loud at the fiest happening in the middle of the river.

eventually we got a bit more air in it, and caught up with faith to retrieve my umbrella/wind sail. away we went, on half the air we started with, but still a much comfier ride than most on the river.

thank you ozark, for creating a mattress so durable and awesome as the one we took down the river... and thank you mary poppins for inventing the umbrella wind sail, and giving our imaginative minds an idea.

adventures in lil redhottness

2009-07-07T14:36:00.000-07:00

sometimes i take for granted what an amazingly fun and adventurous life i live everyday... having hannah and evie staying with me this week has helped remind me of the adventure in my life that i take for granted...

yesterday i had to work, so i gave hannah and evie a crash course (no pun intended) on the quirks of my car, lil redhottness.

yes... that IS her name. wanna see a pic of her?

now... lil redhottness was given to me a couple months ago when my old car broke down. she is not new, and she's got some kinks, but she runs and she was free. when Jesus gives you a free car, you say thank you and suck up your desire to get $10,000 in debt just to have that purty, shiny new model.

she might squeal like nails on a chalkboard when you gas her engine; she might go no more than 20mph up a steep hill... and she might shut off occasionally at a stop sign if you gas the engine and then have to slam on the brakes... but she has character and i love her because she was my answer to prayer.

hannah and evie just stared at me wide-eyed with big smiles and laughs as i told them about her quirks as comically as i could. i ended my schpeel on her quirks with, "she might have some character, girls... but driving her just makes life an adventure. you never quite know what engine sound is gonna make you laugh, who's gonna get to rescue you... or how fast that moped that passes you on that hill, is going!"

when i went to work and they took my car yesterday, i thought they'd have some stories for sure... but man! i didnt anticipate how much enjoyment they'd find in their adventures that day.

when i saw them after work, they couldnt get their stories out fast enough. as they told me their stories about lil redhottness, i couldnt stop laughing. i watched with glee as the girls bubbled over with excitement, and i loved seeing my world - my daily transportation routine in lil redhottness - through their eyes.

as hannah and evie laughed and told me their stories, i looked at hannah and i could picture her in a couple months... running full speed into the compound in kenya, so excited to tell everyone her stories from the day! i thought about how i did the same thing, seeing everything as an adventure, and watching my friend daniel's amused expression as he heard his world, his daily environment, described through my eyes.

to see our lives through another person's eyes brings such a fresh joy and a new reminder of the blessings we can sometimes take for granted.

there are adventures to be experienced all around us, everyday. find the adventure, ya'll... it's right under your nose.

dog... food?

2009-07-07T13:24:00.000-07:00

my friend michael's sister, hannah, will be going to kenya in the fall to intern with a ton of my friends here in reno. she wanted to come visit michael and meet many of the people she'll be living and serving with, so she and her sister came to visit, and are staying with me for the week.

we all hit it off right away, and we pretty much just laugh the entire we're together.

i had lunch with them today at a vietnamese noodlehouse here in reno that i like to frequent. it's called Pho 777. i love it, and they'd never had it before, so off we went on my lunch break!

they loved the food, and i was so glad i got to experience their first time eating pho!

i think we were about halfway through our lunch, and i stopped chewing, staring in horror at some patrons behind evie. she turned around to look at what i was staring at, and i had to hold back my gag reflex. there, on the table behind her, was a dog in a little pink purse, sitting right next to his master's place setting while she ate.

now, i know very well that people eat around their pets all the time... no worries. i get that... but seriously! at a restaurant? i swallowed laboriously as hannah asked what was wrong. i pointed at what i saw...

i was stunned. "larry always told me vietnamese people eat dogs, but i never thought i'd ever see one on the table in a pho restaurant!"

hannah erupted in laughter, as i looked at her mockingly and said "what? dont laugh... we're gonna die, eating here... why are they letting animals in here? OMIGOSH!"

she gasped for air, and said "hope... that's a My Little Pony set... not a dog!" to which i also erupted in laughter as i realized my imagination had run wild...

for the record, paris hilton and her little purse puppies have now ruined my ability to eat with confidence at a public establishment...

hope: the human chipmunk

2009-07-02T20:34:00.000-07:00

a while ago i got a tooth pulled... three years ago, to be exact. it sucked, but needed to be done. i was told eventually i'd need to get it replaced with an implant, and this year is the year to do it.

did you know that without your teeth and roots and nerves, your jaw will recede away to nothing? its true. and that's what started happening with mine. it was like a little river stone being eaten away by the current... of saliva maybe? i dunno... but apparently gums attack bone if there is no tooth there.

so... i went in on thursday afternoon to get a bone graft to build up some of my jaw bone where i got the tooth pulled. just around the time i'd gotten used to the idea of having a piece of a dead person's mandible grafted into my jaw, i was told it was going to be a bit more "extensive" of a procedure...

the doc said "we need to take some of your own jaw bone from the back of your mouth, and graft it in there as well, to encourage cell growth", and i stopped breathing. my jaw bone? no one mentioned pieces of MY jaw being used for this graft. put me under... knock me out right now, cuz i'm not sitting through this while i'm awake, i thought.

ya... queue my freakout session. normally people are put under, via IV sedatives for the whole "let us saw off a few pieces of your jaw bone and then put a few screws in there, too" part of a dental visit.

now... i'm not good with pain. i stub my toe and it's the end of the world... just ask anyone who knows me. so, needless to say i was a wee bit anxious when i heard about the bone saw part.

the hygenist said "would you like some nitris?" and before she got the words out, i'd pretty much strapped on the awkward nose piece myself, breathing is as deeply as possible before she numbed me up with a five inch needle. my doc came over and sat down when i was numb and said "sorry, you're gonna get to listen to my bad jokes for a good long while today", to which i waved my ipod in front of his face and stuck my earphones in.

as he worked away for the next hour and a half, i thought it was pretty ironic that i was listening to Armageddon, the movie, on my ipod. about the time they were drilling three screws into my jaw to hold my bone graft in place, bruce willis was drilling through an asteroid to save the earth.

after four pieces of my jaw, some cadaver bone, the gums being retracted away from four or five of my lower teeth, and three screws being drilled around the bone graft like a tent to hold my gums back when they were sewn back around my teeth, i was the concern of every woman in the office as i staggered to my feet when they were done. i glanced at my hugely swollen jaw and cracked and bleeding lips, thinking "im so glad i am still numb and can't feel anything". i was not a pretty sight, and i headed to faith's house so she could take care of me.

i was too much of a wuss to look at what they did in my mouth, but i needed to know whether i would need the vicodin prescription after the novocaine wore off. i showed faith, and her sharp intake of breath and "uh... yeah. you'll want those pills" had me on the phone with the pharmacy pronto.

i never take strong drugs... but man did i realize what they mean when they say they can be addictive. it was hell one minute with the novocation wearing off, and heaven the next when the vicodin kicked in. beautiful... just beautiful.

so... now i'm just waiting for the swelling to go down. i'm off the vicodine and onto a low dose of anti-inflammatory drugs, hoping to be able to go in public again soon. i'm afraid if i walk outside, children will scream and run away, and old ladies will gasp in horror at the sight of my abnormally large and distended jaw and cheek.

that's me... the human chipmunk.

talented graduates and their screaming fans

2009-06-05T11:09:00.001-07:00

tmcc graduation 2009
Originally uploaded by hopiface

some of my lovely friends graduated from truckee meadows community college this last week. i am so proud of them for their accomplishments, but even more amazed at their musical talent.

lil red (stephanie) has never sung for us before, and we were FLOORED at her talent both singing and on the keys. cuz dang, that girl rocks.

scott rocked out on guitar and added his vocals near the end, and i'm just amazed again and again at the amazing arrangement they all did with the song in the beginning of this video.

words by the girl in the middle, and music by stephanie and scott.

enjoy!

virginia city saloon girls

2009-05-22T21:00:00.000-07:00

our adventures in virginia city were so numerous, i'm getting a bit overwhelmed thinking of how to explain them all. i will succeed, though!

so lauren and i got up and out of the house to pick up karen, lauren's old roommate from college... and might i say, next to both of them i definitely feel like a giant. karen is 4'11, and lauren is a head taller than her, and i'm a head taller than lauren. we're like the cingular bars all stacked up in heighth order. good grief... so funny.

we walked around virginia city for a bit and bought a few things like hawaiian lotion (TOTALLY manufactured in vcity? no, not really), summer dresses, and little random things like my bottle of gingerale. i cant wait to taste it!

we went into a quaint little shop, and lauren tried on something called a "magic wrap" which is double layers of fabric that are large enough to wrap around your body in a variety of ways. you can make a skirt, dress, halter shirt, tunic, or even bathing suit coverup...

we saw a group of tourists on the street, and i told lauren and karen to come with me as i pretended to be a part of their group. it was awesome! we got details on the famous "suicide table" in a local saloon and took some pictures...

then we visited the old newspaper printing shop, where the headlines were pretty absurd... and therefore pretty fantastic!

then we were off to the bucket 'o blood saloon, where you just HAVE to go and have a rootbeer. we were also told (as the barkeep looked at karen skeptically) that we couldn't be at the bar unless we were 21... to which she sassily replied that she definitely is, and i guess they figured since we were ordering root beer, it wasn't worth a fight. so funny!

i asked around and found out there was a local cigar shop in town, so we stopped by there where i got a lesson in cigars from a toothless man who (to his credit) did have an awesome selection of cigars ranging from $3 - $100. super impressive. i bought three "black dragons" that apparently are really spicy, and have a kick to 'em for a few guy friends of mine... we'll see how they like them.

we went to the shooting gallery where we got to show our stuff with laser shotguns... it was fun times. karen hadn't shot before, so lauren showed her how, and karen thought she was pretty clever, surprising lauren with a kiss when i took the picture.

after our shooting adventure, we decided to take an old-time saloon picture and i dont think we stopped laughing the whole time. from the scandalous ladies behind the counter taking our pictures and helping us into our costumes, to the absurdity of hilarity that must come to even get into character for a photo shoot as a saloon girl, it was just nonstop giggles and laughing.

the lady took our picture by saying "serious pose... slight smile... full smile... random" and we would go from looking like we hated the world, to a smirk, to a full smile, and then a cheesy scream look on our faces. when we looked through them at the end, we just died laughing. you woulda thought we were watching a comedy show or something... well, lets face it... taking a dressup picture with me and lauren IS a comedy show. you add karen, and it just gets CRAZY, i'm tellin ya!

here is the one we ended up with... we're pretty hot sauce, ya'll.

you would think that'd be enough adventure for the day, but it wasnt...

we went to lunch at the hungry miner's diner, and while in there we ran into a producer for a local virginia city commercial documenting the diner we were in. we were told we should come back and be in the commercial next saturday... to which i laughingly told the producer that i knew where to get a saloon girl costume if he wanted me in old fashioned garb for the picture. he laughed and agreed that was a great idea, if i came. haha... lauren and karen and i laughed as the producer and his assistant left.

when they walked out, the owner of the diner walked up to us and told us the producer's assistant was adam lambert's sister, ashley lambert. adam lambert is on american idol... he was the runner-up this year. how funny is that?!? karen almost had a heart attack right there. she wanted to run out the door and be ashley's best friend i think.

not too shabby of a day in virginia city, i must say...

backstube with autumn

2009-05-21T20:00:00.000-07:00

today was lunch with autumn at backstube, a unique little austrian bakery near my house.

autumn and lauren got to chat for a bit and we laughed our way through a sunshine filled lunch on the patio.

i love the little quaint eateries in my neighborhood!

after my work day lauren and i went to housechurch with the crew, and then back to my house to watch the season finale of LOST with andrew. he grilled up some steak that we diced and put on fettuccine and it was to die for.

how tragic that we now have to wait til 2010 for new episodes!! grrrr.

riverwalk, lasagna & i love lucy

2009-05-20T21:00:00.000-07:00

avocado on toast and coffee is what i had for breakfast today. favorite breakfast ever...

lauren took my car and went home to sleep for a few more hours before her lunch date with danel at waldens, a local coffee shop here in reno. from what i hear, it was a great time.

i had a meeting around lunch time, so afterwards lauren and i spent my late lunch hour at the river where we got coffee at dreamers coffee shop and took a stroll in the sunshine. i showed her the kayaking area of the riverwalk, and the parks and outdoor theaters for plays and things... she loved it.

then we just sat and talked on some stone steps. its was one of those unforgettable conversations... one where it just makes your heart happy and solidifies those strong bonds in a sincere friendship. i hope everyone reading this knows what that's like, because it's one of those things that just makes life worthwhile.

lauren headed off to an afternoon with andrew, and when i got off work we met up with at the "i love lucy & lasagna night" at faith, joy & saprina's place later that night. saprina made her mom's amazing lasagna recipe, and it was fantastic! boy i love me some lucy, too. that woman is so frickin funny. here's a clip from what we watched tonight.

lauren and faith and i laugh at how similar faith and lauren are. it's why i appreciate lauren, i think. she reminds me of faith in SO many ways. here's some pictures of us twinsters with lauren.

qdoba community and in-n-out

2009-05-19T10:39:00.000-07:00

sleep? what is that?

sleep is pointless when you'd rather hang out with people you love than get some rest. haha... i feel that way all the time. with lauren here, it's worse.

we dont wanna sleep, because it takes away from hangout time... although we get alot of that as it is.

we wake up in the morning and she laughs at my "i hate the world" attitude on the way to work... then we meet for lunch in the afternoon, and have serious conversations about life and the Lord while we eat... then in the evenings we get together with friends until late at night, and when we drive home she laughs even MORE at my nighttime "awake" attitude when i have no filter. its just laughter laughter laughter... all the time laughing, and i wouldnt have it any other way.

i tell her i love having an audience... it eggs me on.

today was our errands day. i had two appts this morning... one for the dentist and one for the optometrist... so i took the morning off work. she decided to tag along, and so after my dentist appt we went and grabbed coffee before my eye doctor appt. the starbucks man macked on her while we were there, and she got not one but TWO free drinks in our 20 minute stay at the coffee shop. it was freaking funny.

we also met jake, the golden lab tied outside starbucks. THEN we met his owner who we have affectionately named "the starbucks surfer dude"... he was not ugly. he introduced us to jake, and then conveniently decided to move jake closer to us so he could "be in the shade". this meant starbucks surfer dude could show off jake's many skills in doing tricks, much to our delight.

an hour later, i was done with my eye doctors appt in which they dilated my eyes and gave me hideously ghetto-fabulous sun shades to wear with my glasses. this was something lauren "needed" to documented with a photo. it wouldve been a much better photo if she wasn't shaking and laughing so hard while taking it.

soon afterwards, we were off to lunch with mellum at qdoba where we did alot more laughing and even got asked to get up from our booth so the manager of the restaurant could grab a couple pots that he'd forgotten to remove from the storage area inside the bench seat... oh man! that ONLY happens to us.

then i relinquished lauren to mellum for the afternoon where they spent five hours at starbucks talking before i grabbed her and we went to go hang out with ruth before community. i decorated her nails with a toothpick. dont they look fabulous?!

community was great, and afterwards lauren and i voted for an in-n-out adventure at 11pm. here are some pictures of the randomness...

pho and tea bubbles

2009-05-18T09:04:00.000-07:00

while lauren is here i have to work. it sucks because i'd love to hang out with her 24/7, but we think we've come up with a way to hang out and still allow for my work schedule too.

i love being lauren's social planner. people call or text or facebook me and are like "hey is lauren doing anything?" and i subdue my desire to tell them "yes... i am hanging with her all day!" and call in sick to work (which i would never do), and i be an adult and pencil them into her social calendar.

we thought it was gonna be tough to hang out since i work all week, but it is actually working pretty well. we have a default lunch date everyday unless someone else wants to steal her, and we SO look forward to it.

today (monday) she dropped me off at work, and then covertly filled my gas tank (grrr) before relaxing for a couple hours and then meeting me for lunch. we went to pho 777, a vietnamese noodle house, for lunch and it was fun to sit and chat for a bit in the middle of my busy work day.

then i relinquished her to andrew for the afternoon, and they spent four hours at starbucks and then went to visit mellum at his work. from what i hear, he about died of excitement when she slyly walked in and checked out the ice cream counter without him knowing she was there. mustve been a great moment! :)

i met up with them after work and we had a not-so-healthy dinner at wendys before everyone headed off to young life.

lauren had heard stories of how much i adore bubble tea, so at her request we headed over to partake of the brilliant bubble... it was really funny watching her reactions to the tapioca bubbles in the bottom of her tea.

after bubble tea we decided to invite ruth lipparelli to go on our pending grocery shopping excursion with us since we were near her house. she was finishing dinner her man had made when we arrived, and we sat down on the patio with luke and ruth and danel to wait for her to finish... and then we didn't move for four hours.

we laughed and talked and joked around for an hour or so before larry and mike bishop returned from a coffee date... and then shortly after they got back, andrew got home from young life, too. what a group we had! all fiesty and animated, telling stories about life and each of our respective africa adventures, too. we all can relate on that topic, for sure.

inbetween our stories and laughs, larry pegged the neighbor's barking dog with frozen paintballs when throwing it food to keep quiet didn't work anymore. one of larry's pet peaves is not being able to hear conversations in his backyard because of the barking dog. i could barely concentrate on the conversations around me when larry went to war with the mangy mutt.

then... after four hours in the lipparelli's backyard... lauren and i headed off to go grocery shopping. that was an interesting experience, since the last time we went grocery shopping included a man telling me his wife no longer satisfied him, upon seeing me at the kenyan marketplace. ha! being around each other is so weird when we think of everything in retrospective to the last time we hung out together. soooo different.

the way we roll

2009-05-17T13:59:00.000-07:00

let me just say the following: i am having so much fun with lauren here in reno!

only a day into her week here, and i've loved every second ive spent with her. its a blast building upon the friendship we struck up in kenya. its so different that what we experienced there, but so relaxing. we have both changed so much since africa...

one thing hasn't changed, though... we still exhaust everyone around us by laughing constantly. we find alot of joy in life, although my scope of vision is a lot more sarcastic and ironic of an outtake on everything than hers is... but we just laugh and laugh because we love being around another person who enjoys just LIVING.

after our adventure in the ghetto (previous blog) , we slept for a few hours and then drove to washoe valley where we met friends who had been camping for a few days. we avoided the bugs, cold nights and set up and tear down of the campsites, and that was fine with me!

we spent the afternoon driving around the campground in the back of andrew's truck...

layed in the grass outside of bower's mansion, laughing as half naked children swam around in the water fountain...

took pictures of anything and everything just to document such a gloriously relaxing afternoon...

went to the chocolate nugget candy factory for some homemade ice cream and sweets...

i introduced lauren to the "miner man" on the hill near the candy factory - he seemed to really want her to take the rock he was holding out to her...

but try as we might, we couldn't get it out of his hand... he just wouldnt let go!

by the time we were done with our afternoon of grass and ice cream and mining men, we were exhausted. we said goodbye to the friendlies for the afternoon and headed home to a night of hair dying. faith joined us a little later, and i was pretty proud of my handiwork when all was said and done...

i gave faith highlights... i got chocolate brown... and lauren got blonder.

we finished our night by relaxing and watching the movie p.s. i love you.

for the record, that movie makes me want to take a trip to ireland to visit a land where saucy accents and rugged facial hair is the norm. wouldnt it be awesome to attend an irish community event where large men wore skirts that somehow didnt look awkward on them, and compete to see who can throw a tree the farthest?

cuz dang.

that is all for now... more adventures to come...

an adventure in the ghetto

2009-05-16T09:43:00.000-07:00

my friend lauren, the one who was in africa with me, decided awhile ago that she wanted to visit reno sometime upon us arriving back in the states after our trip. this weekend was the weekend she arrived.

she was supposed to arrive at sfo yesterday around 2pm and have around 4 hrs to safely find her way via public transportation in cali, to oakland airport. due to many delays on the first couple legs of her trip from texas to the west coast, she arrived at sfo around 4 hours later than she planned. she tried her best to get to oakland airport and make her scheduled flight to reno, but arrived just in time to see it take off.

she called me after she was supposed to be in the air already, and i answered my phone to hear her say: "so... obviously, i'm not on my plane. due to delays of my other flights, i missed it. i have checked all the airlines, and no other flights leave oakland or san francisco until tomorrow morning. so, i'm gonna find a place in the airport to crash for the night until i can catch a flight."

i was horrified at the thought of lauren staying at the airport - OR OAKLAND - alone, and promptly told her that was an unacceptable solution. she'd never been there before, and had no idea how ghetto it was. i told her i'd come pick her up, and i started driving. it took me four hours to get to her, and traffic was actually not too bad, so for that i was thankful.

at 11:45pm i arrived at oakland airport's hilton hotel, which she'd taken an airport shuttle to, and thought "well, this'll be fun" as i parked the car between the hotel and its sports bar. there were about 20 men outside the bar who all took notice as i got out of my car.

i decided to check for lauren in the hotel lobby first and try to avoid the throng if i could, but she wasn't there. earlier when i'd spoken to her on the phone she'd mentioned something about the sports bar, so i gripped my purse a bit tighter and walked briskly towards the entrance to the bar. i got about five feet from the throng of men, and one stepped towards me from the side of the walkway.

"you looking for me, girl?" he asked as he looked me up and down. oh good grief. lets just be honest... i wanted to shove him into the concrete pillar he'd just been leaning against, or at least throw his drink in his face... but i throttled my emotions and kept up my brisk pace as i looked him straight in the face and said "NO."

the 15 men around him erupted in ribbing and remarks about how he'd been shot down, but i was already in the door to the sports bar. i looked around and lauren wasn't there. after a thorough examination of the many dining rooms of the establishment, i walked back to the front. i noticed the obnoxious man (and i use that word lightly) was back and walking towards me with a sly grin on his face.

i quickly sized him up and decided i'd thoroughly shaken his confidence once already and only needed to show i wasn't caving. sure enough, i turned towards him and put one foot in front of me, creating my personal space and throwing him a steely gaze for a few seconds as i put my phone to my ear to call lauren. he got the drift and did a not-so-casual quick turn towards the bar, pretending to ask the barkeep a question before walking out again.

mission accomplished.

lauren answered, and told me she was aware of the throng of men downstairs (only after having to deal with them herself a few times). she had gone to hide on a second floor lounge of the hotel after a quick dinner at the sports bar. she headed downstairs to meet me and i envisioned myself being an untouchable brick wall -with legs- as i walked past all the men again on my way across the driveway to the hotel lobby again.

a hug and a few squeals later, lauren and i grabbed her bag and ignored the bellhop hitting on me, and the sultry "its okay baby.." from the parking attendant when i told him i'd lost my parking stub. we got in the car, locking the doors the second our butts hit the seats.

lauren let out a huge laugh as we drove away, and said "what IS it with you and the men tonight?!"

"i dont know," i replied, "but i'd like to know where my future husband is right now... he needs to come protect his goods!"

we laughed ironically at the fact that our first adventure together in the states dealt with warding off men (something we did frequently in africa), and sighed in relief as we embarked on our journey home...

lauren and i arrived in reno at 4am. after 8 hours of driving for me and a whole day of travel for her, our heads hit our pillows pretty quickly. a few hours later we were up and going to meet friends for the tail end of their camping trip.

here are a few pictures from our day in the sunshine with friends...

death by automatic faucet

2009-05-15T10:43:00.001-07:00

we're into our spring events season at my work, and that means lifting tables, hauling chairs and setting up rooms before our events start. my coworkers and i bring a change of clothes so we can get out of our jeans and tshirts and into presentable outfits before our events.

yesterday i grabbed my change of clothes and headed off to the restroom to change. i got all gussied up and realized my tshirt and jeans earrings didnt match my (gorgeous) dress. not to fear, i'd thought of that already and dug around in my purse for my matching earring and necklace set.

i took the necklace out, and the earrings went flying because they had gotten tangled up in it whilst in the bottom of my purse. one i caught in midair (what skill!), and the other went swirling around in the bottom of a sink. i fastened the necklace and one earring, and reached my hand in the sink to retrieve my remaining earring.

as per the function of automatic sinks, my hand set the motion censors off (which i hadnt considered), and the water jetted on at full blast upon my hand that had just grasped the other earring. i was so shocked at the surprise attack of ice water on my hand that i jerked my hand back and my earring went soaring through the air and hit the floor, bouncing across the bathroom.

in a matter of seconds, my heart was racing like a freight train from the shock of the unexpected attack on my hand, but nonetheless i raced across the bathroom trying to catch my earring which was still rolling across the tile.

earring in hand a short 20 seconds later, and aerobics workout completed with the reaching and stretching under sinks and stalls, i sternly put it in my ear and then leaned on the sink vanity to catch my breath and thought, "why work out? in my life, i get my cardiovascular system pumping just by putting jewelry on!"

only me... only me...

the long awaited africa videos

2009-04-29T22:43:00.000-07:00

so, i know that while in africa in january, i definitely slacked on getting everyone pictures of my experiences... and for that i am truly sorry.

here are some videos that i hope make up for a little bit of how badly i dropped the ball on the picture front.

video 1: "it's all about the wee ones"

video 2: "fun times with the kenya krew"

well... there are some of the moments i treasure.

thanks for being patient for so long... i hope it paid off getting to watch these.

i was late because...

2009-04-06T15:10:00.001-07:00

Here are 12 of the most outrageous excuses employees have given for being late to work:

1. My heat was shut off so I had to stay home to keep my snake warm.
2. My husband thinks it's funny to hide my car keys before he goes to work.
3. I walked into a spider web on the way out the door and couldn't find the spider, so I had to go inside and shower again.
4. I got locked in my trunk by my son.
5. My left turn signal was out so I had to make all right turns to get to work.
6. A gurney fell out of an ambulance and delayed traffic.
7. I was attacked by a raccoon and had to stop by the hospital to make sure it wasn't rabid.
8. I feel like I'm in everyone's way if I show up on time.
9. My father didn't wake me up.
10. A groundhog bit my bike tire and made it flat.
11. My driveway washed away in the rain last night.
12. The line at Starbucks was so long I went home and made my own coffee.

a cuppa makes my world go round

2009-03-26T09:06:00.000-07:00

waking up in the morning is hard to do.

most mornings, i wake up in the shower with a faint recollection of shutting off my phone alarm and stumbling down my hall...

needless to say, i find it hard to function without some kind of caffeinated supplement to get me going in the morning. i loved enjoying a cuppa java every morning in kenya. someone always had it ready for me, and i was so grateful... but back here in the real world, if i want coffee in the morning i have to make it myself.

sometimes i hate the real world and the burdens i have to carry...

making coffee poses a problem because of my aforementioned lake of focus in the wee hours of the morning.

seriously, i can barely put one foot in front of the other, let alone make coffee. i'm pretty much comatose until someone hooks the caffeine i.v. up to my arm and starts it flowing... well, figuratively speaking... ;o)

anyways... i made coffee for myself the last few days, and i have something to say...

my lack of early morning coordination makes it a genuine MIRACLE that i'm still alive.

thank God for starbucks baristas.

loving men... who love Jesus

2009-03-18T08:12:00.000-07:00

so... a few weeks ago, an interesting thing happened at work.

i got to my desk after copying some documents across the hall, and the ladies from my office were standing around with mischievious grins on their faces. i smiled and said somewhat suspiciously, "what?"

now, mind you, my coworker christy is one of the most hysterical people i've ever met. she can singlehandedly turn a staff meeting into comedy hour with her animated jokes and outtakes on life... and she can turn a ride in the elevator into a minute or so of side-splitting laughter.

so, naturally, when i saw her with her hands behind her back hiding something, i thought "oh, this is gonna be good..."

she glanced at our coworkers and said "hope, i have a present for you!" and she pulled out from behind her back a calendar...

THIS calendar...

i laughed at the cover, but didn't really know what to make of it at first... until she and the other ladies encouraged me to check out "january". when i did what they asked, i got the drift...

apparently, someone photographed good ol' mormon boys before they left on their missions (hence the title of the calendar.. "men on a mission"), and then photographed them AGAIN once they returned...

before they left on their missions, they had what i like to dub the "homeschooler" hairstyle. you know... the "look-my-hair-is-parted-right-down-the-middle-of-my-head" hairstyle that makes you wanna just give them a noogie cuz it'd look a hundred times better messed up than it does when they "fix" it every morning with a half bottle of gel, and their dad's comb. eew. and then, to top it all off, they had the geeky glasses and nicely pressed white shirts and ties. they looked JUST like the good lil' mormon boy who comes to your door once a year...

but that was just the INSET picture...

the large picture for each month was the one they took when they photographed them two years LATER after they'd returned from their mission in some foreign country. those countries feed 'em pretty good, i'm guessing... the good lil' mormom boys were now men with no homeschooler hair... no glasses... and most importantly, no shirt.

i was greatly amused by such a random gift from christy, that was so outside of the "norm", but she succeeded in making me BUST up laughing when she explained the motive behind the gift.

she said, "i know it's random, but someone gave it to me and i'm not gonna keep it, so i figure since you love men, AND you love Jesus... well, here's a calendar of men who love Jesus!"

when i was done laughing my face off, i thanked them for the gift and assured them that i would not be hanging it up anywhere, but rather taking a picture of it, writing a blog about it, and getting rid of it.

they laughed as they flipped through the pages to show me their favorite "month"...

my roommate passed on the calendar to a friend of hers, after i brang it home and told her the story. whoever she gave it to, i hope they get as much of a laugh from it as i have...

smokin hot dinner party

2009-03-08T13:06:00.000-07:00

so last night i invited over 12 or 13 friends for dinner and a movie. it was a pretty sweet menu. baked potatoes, steak, salad, garlic bread... it was yummy. after dinner we turned on the most recent diehard movie, and watched bruce willis put the beat-down on some bad guys trying to take over the world.

well, as we were watchin the movie, i looked around at the room of family and friends all camped out with blankets and pillows in my livingroom, and thought "the perfect thing for this atmosphere is a fire going in the fireplace."

i tried... i tried to be a good hostess.

food... movie... atmosphere...

i gave my brother permission to light the fire in the fireplace, and for about 60 seconds, it was perfect.

then it all went up in... well... smoke.

the fireplace flue was not working. i figured it eventually would... but i'm clueless to that stuff. my dad and brother tried to open and shut the flue, and open and shut the front door... everything to create some kind of suction or air flow that would make the smoke go up and out, rather than into the house.

nothing worked.

some people started coughing in mock horror that they were going to be asphixiated by smoke, and my mom opened every door and window in the house. i stood up and realized my head and shoulders were engulfed in thick smoke.

the chaos started...

autumn and kami were faking death by suffocation in the far corner of the livingroom...

jon and andrew jumped off the couch to find a fire extinguisher...

my mom came out clad in oven mitts with a cookie tray saying we needed to just take the logs outside and let them burn out... to which i thought "oh yeah, that'd be fantastic. backyard is full of dry leaves that'll catch on fire from the slightest piece of ash, and i'm sure my neighbors wouldnt be worried at ALL if i set some burning logs in my front yard!"

i screamed as jonathan came out of the kitchen with my fire extinguisher, and i told him "NO!" right as he was pulling the pin. thankfully, he smiled gleefully at what he was about to do, but walked away and let the fire be... right around the time that daniel suggested separating the logs so the fire would burn out quicker. someone did that, and it seemed to start dying a bit.

my dad, brother, jonathan, and my mom were all crowded around the fire at some point or another trying to get the flue open or the logs to burn out quicker... it was insane. after 15 minutes of smoke so thick we could barely breathe even with all the windows and door open, even i was at a loss.

my sister autumn started laughing hysterically because it was so cold in my house from the doors and windows being open, that everyone could see their breath. they all started commenting on the frigidness - to my utter humiliation - but i loved andrew for his "if anyone doesnt like it then leave, because this is my favorite atmosphere... its like camping!"

i coulda hugged him. that's why he's my favorite. in that moment he - with one comment - put my mental breakdown on freeze frame.

it wasn't the atmosphere i was going for, but at least someone was getting a kick out of it. i smiled a little as i thought it totally WAS like camping... only without the forest. just a smoky campfire and the freezing cold trying to attack us under our layers of blankets, pillow and coats.

the logs were burning out, but i forgot about the movie we were supposed to be watching as i just stared in humilated horror at the fireplace that was ruining my otherwise perfect dinnerparty. the fireplace was the safest place i could think of to let the logs burn out, but the smoke just kept coming.

i was defeated.

daniel mustve seen my look of pathetic helplessness at the fact that i couldnt solve the impending problem of us all ending up in the ER needing BREATHING treatments when the movie was over. he looked at me and said quietly, "hope... do you want me to take the logs out to the front yard and douse them with water?"

i looked at him... then at the logs still smoking... and then at the six feet of smoke filling the roof of my house... and i nodded.

daniel jumped up and opened the fireplace grating, grabbing the aforementioned cookie sheet. he picked up the burning logs with his bare hands and put them on them on it, taking them into the front yard where he doused them with water. no chance of the yard catching on fire... no leaves or sparks or ash... it was a good solution.

he came back in to hoots and hollers of approval from everyone, and a huge sigh of relief from me as i saw the smoke was already leaving. within a few minutes we could shut the doors and windows and actually breathe again.

much thanks to daniel, and many apologies later to the lives that were in jeopardy at my dinner party, and we were able to finish the movie with sufficiently smoke-free oxygen in our lungs.

i am recuperating on my couch today from the physical stress that smoke inhalation and hostessing caused to my body last night... and thanking God that my dinner party didn't end in disaster... just a bit of humiliation and a good story.

i'll have to try and redeem myself with another party soon, but i'm okay if it's not as smokin as the last one.

pop a pill

2009-02-19T16:36:00.000-08:00

when i was in africa, i developed a wee bit of an addiction.

yes, it's true... the good little homeschooler can still succumb to the vices of this world.

i know, i know... it's disappointing to me, too.

sigh... anyways...

daniel (another homeschooler who succumbed) would make coffee every morning, and i'd relish Cup # 1 of the kenyan caffeine feeding my brain the needed jolt of energy to wake up and face the world each day... i don't know how anyone would've survived my stay there if i didn't have it.

after nights of tossing and turning, trying to sleep with the mosquitos buzzing around my head, it was the only thing preventing me from giving in to my "i hate everyone" attitude every morning.

shoving obnoxious kenyan men in front of the nearest moving vehicles would've been a daily event, let me tell ya.

did i mention i'm not a morning person?

okay... just thought i'd reiterate that fact.

Cup # 2 would come in the afternoon when we'd returned from whatever we were doing that day, and daniel would make another pot of french press and present me with my second dose... enough to survive the first half of the night with the previously mentioned mosquitos.

i only turned down his coffee once during the whole month we were there, and i regretted that... so it's pretty much a "duh!" statement to say i would need to either go cold turkey off that caffeine, or keep truckin with the addiction when i got back to the states.

well, i decided to wean myself off of the caffeine. for my whole first week back, i didn't drink coffee. nope... none. i was so proud of myself.

then i realized something... i was doing fine... just fine.

that's not normal. i should've had splitting withdrawal headaches by now, with the amount of caffeine i was consuming everyday in kenya.

why wasn't i irrated at life and supporting a new over the counter tylenol addiction from the nonexistent headaches by now?

that's right, folks... one a day women's vitamins.

started 'em when i got back from kenya, trying to be all healthy. the warning on the back of the bottle says the following:

"This product contains about as much caffeine as a cup of coffee."

best way to get your morning caffeine in a rush?

pop a pill.

blasting me with your horn? really?!?

2009-02-17T09:31:00.000-08:00

who would've thought you could have adventures in america, too.

yesterday i ran some errands in town, and then i wanted to go to the buck of the star (i.e. starbucks) to write for awhile and relax for the afternoon.

i'd felt pretty lazy the last few days since i'd been too busy to get out in the fresh air and get some exercise. it'd been a few days of coffee dates, family time, and errands around town whenever i had a couple free hours in the evening. i'd caught up on life finally, but had no time to work out.

i decided that if i wanted to spend the afternoon at starbucks sitting on my butt, that i'd make myself earn it... so i walked to starbucks.

that's right... i have a vehicle, i live in america, and i walked somewhere.

try it... you'll feel so accomplished. and yes... our legs will support us for longer than five minutes at a time.

i parked my car up at the office max/home depot area at north mccarran, and i put on my hat, coat and scarf. i slung my laptop bag over my shoulder and put my ipod in my ears, and i was off.

it was a mile and a half to the pyramid starbucks, and it was frigid outside... but it felt so good to be walking that i didn't even mind.

this brings me to the subject of my blog...

as i was walking along the road... on the made-for-walking sidewalk... the sidewalk where i should be safe and secure because i was using it for it's intended purpose... i nearly jumped out of my skin as a utility truck passed me and the driver SLAMMED on his horn.

GOOD LORD!

i gasped and jumped to the far side of the sidewalk as the two men in the cab stared back at me as they drove past. my wide-eyed shock turned into a disturbed glare at those men as i turned up my ipod and kept walking.

i get that the latino culture believes it is flattering for a man to look a woman up and down like she's a piece of meat... but could ya just not scare me half to death by blaring on your horn and making me think i'm going to be run over at any moment?

after a few more times of the horns blaring on my walk, i was thankful for the warmth and quiet jazz music in the buck of the star.

it was another three hours of hot tea, writing, and relaxation, before i braved the horns again on my walk back to my car.

monkey park

2009-01-30T17:00:00.000-08:00

one of the coolest places i visited while in africa, was on my last day in nairobi. last year, some people made daniel aware of a park in nairobi that has monkeys living EVERYWHERE in it's trees.

the day was filled with alot of places, including a visit to a TI project in the slums, but it started off great with a man in front of our hotel yelling at daniel from a bus, "hey... you have three! why can't you give me one?!" in reference to the three of us girls trailing behind him. seriously?! it was 7am... i was ready to punch him MYSELF. daniel said something to him in swahili that sounded really fiesty, and all of us girls giggled as the man shut up really fast, and we continued on our mission to find coffee.

later that day we bought two bags of peanuts at a local store, and then caught a matatu to the park.

walking into the park, there were quite a few people around us. i was walking on one side of the path, and daniel and michele and lauren were on the other side. all of a sudden daniel said calmly but firmly, "hope... walk towards me" and i could tell he was concerned about something.

i walked towards him and the girls.

then he said to all three of us, "on the count of three, we're all going to stop and stare at that bush right there," and all of us girls smiled at each other like we were playing a gradeschool game as he counted to three and we all stopped and looked down at a bush. after a few seconds daniel gave us the "okay," and we started walking again. he pointed out two young guys who were in front of us, but had been directly behind me. they looked like idiots, running and jumping in front of us, and smacking each other now and then while they skipped down the path. it was NOT common behavior for kenyans. we think they were high, and their proximity to me was too close for daniel's comfort, i guess.

moral of the story? when daniel says it's time to stop and smell the roses... you stop and smell the roses.

we spotted a monkey on the ground in the middle of a grove of trees, and walked over. daniel brought out the first bag of peanuts, and opened it. then he had a target on his forehead. monkeys dropped from the trees, and one even tried to grab the bag out of his hand.

luckily, he escaped without injury (that time), and put the bag of peanuts securely in his pocket. we were quite amused to see momma monkeys with their babies clinging to the underside of their stomachs...

... and even more amused to see that a young kenyan pick-pocket had followed us into the grove of trees. we were onto him, so he didnt try anything, but he hovered for awhile.

daniel gave us peanuts, and the monkeys jumped up to our shoulders for their treat which would soon follow. it was a bit nerve-wracking at first, but eventually i got used to having them jump and climb all over me. we had soooo much fun.

michele was a bit enthralled...

i was a bit scared that my monkey would bite me...

daniel had done this before...

and lauren looked like she belonged in the circus...

as we tired of the first group of monkeys (because they started fighting with each other over the peanuts), we moved on to a different area of the park where i found a different kind of monkeys... some of the local children. they were so cute swinging on the branches of the trees, and playing games.

we found another group of monkeys (the primate kind), and encountered a group of kenyan people walking by. one man blatently held a camera phone in my face and snapped a picture. daniel was torked, but the man with the camera phone walked away pretty fast...as he walked, he snapped another picture... this time of michele.

serves us right, i guess. that was the first time i had a camera in my face, but i'd been snapping pictures of the kenyan people my whole month in africa... so i got a taste of my own medicine, i guess. whatever.

this new group of monkeys was super fun, although a bit scary at first. one of them had a bleeding foot which made me want to vomit. there was a huge monkey that the bleeding one was terrified of, which made me think that the big one was the culprit for the wound. i threw peanuts at the hurt one because i felt sorry for it, but when it jumped on me, i FREAKED. i draw the line at monkey blood stains on my skirt... that is unacceptable.

i was a little freaked out... can you tell? good lord. michele just laughed... she was not sympathetic towards my plight until the bleeding monkey jumped on HER. serves her right!

we got a couple monkeys to literally jump like a relay race from one shoulder to the next one...

then daniel and lauren decided to try something a bit different... a longer jump. it was awesome.

then michele got ahold of the camera as one of the monkeys got fiesty with me... i apologize for your seasickness, as michele got pretty squirrely with the videotaping part... but i think it's funny. :)

now, my friends, we come to the tragic part of the story... excuse me as i hold back the tears... of LAUGHTER.

daniel was getting some more peanuts out of his first bag (of which he had unwisely taken from the security of his pocket), and a humongous monkey lunged at his hand. the monkey latched onto the bag (and daniel's finger) with his teeth, and ripped. the bag tore, but did not come loose from his grip. dan was so shocked by the attack, that he didn't hide the bag, but rather said "hey, i think it just bit me!" as he looked at his finger that was bleeding.

the monkey saw his chance, and lunged again at the bag of peanuts... success. dan was busy staring at his finger and the monkey grabbed the bag and ran off. after pretty much scalding daniel's finger with some germ-x from michele's purse we decided it didn't warrant an emergency, but daniel's excitement about the monkey park waned as he thought of the diseases he could've just contracted. we were more amused than worried... but that's because it didnt look very bad... but we can't really talk, cuz WE werent the ones with the monkey bite.

daniel is still alive (as far as i know), but maybe we could've been a bit more sensitive...

anyways, daniel opened the last bag of peanuts, but by then the monkeys had gotten pretty aggressive, so we did what anyone would've done...

we called over some kids playing at the park, and made sure the monkeys saw the transfer of peanuts from daniel's hand to theirs.

sacrificing kenyan children to packs of hungry animals... it's what we do.

McHulk in nairobi

2009-01-30T16:35:00.000-08:00

we ended our first day in nairobi with dinner and a movie.

by the time our movie was over, it was dark. the huge fire we'd witnessed earlier in the day had been put out, and the police -for the most part- had broken up the huge mob that had been watching the process.

when we got out of our movie, we started walking the few blocks back to our hotel... until we were stopped by the police who had roped off a couple blocks of space around the building that had been burned. those blocks just happened to be the normal -and safer- route home to our hotel. the police officer -with an extremely large gun- directed us down another street, and daniel looked over his shoulder at lauren and i and michele, and said "we're taking the long way".

what would've been a five minute walk turned into one that i couldve sworn was an hour (really, it was like 15 minutes).

we were in nairobi. at night. walking through a scary part of town.

two white girls... one supermodel... and one white guy. we stand out in a crowd, but we stood out even more, as our white skin practically seemed to glow in the dark as we walked down the street.

i was a bit scared... not gonna lie... and when i get scared, i get real quiet and tense... and that's what happened.

i dont know what the other girls were thinking, but when i saw the dark streets ahead and realized we'd be walking them, every sense hightened. every shadow looked darker, and i imagined that every corner i couldn't see past contained evil men who were going to attack us the second i looked away. after a minute of thinking this way, i realized had to control my thoughts or i would lose it. so i decided to do what we all do when we dont know what's going on...

look to daniel.

okay, men... all men...

you're impressive. you men in your own way are seriously some of the most impressive creatures that God ever did create.

can i get an "amen!" ladies?

although we women may laugh and poke fun at your manly ways sometimes, there are those times when our breath just catches because you excel at being... well... men. really, it's one of the only reasons why we sit and watch y'all play sports like football.

taking whatever each other can dish out, chasing after each other like maniacs who stole each others' women, and then slamming each other to the ground (all while in tights) just to hold a piece of sewn together pig skin which is apparently the object of your affection... and all of this just FOR FUN.

man. guys, we females might not understand your motive for such things, but we can appreciate how impressive you are when you get your heart pounding, pulse racing, "i feel invincible right now, and i'd like the chance to prove it" feeling...

when that drug-like adrenaline whispers in your ear, "i've got your back if this gets ugly", and you sincerely wish -and secretly dread- for someone to challenge your committment to protect what is yours. when our safety is in question, we women encourage your utilization of all the adrenaline you've got.

i'd imagine it's kinda like being infused with the hulk's magic potion.

for lauren, michele and i... we were glad McHulk was leading us around nairobi that night.

completely silent, listening to every footstep, and snapping our heads around whenever any noise got close to us, we followed daniel's lead.

he had one hand in his pocket as we walked by the edge of a park with a huge wall of bushes on our left side, and a dark street with random people sleeping in bus station alcoves, on our right.

then he casually took his hand out of his pocket and kept walking.

something was different though.

my eyes fell on the cupped hand at his side. he was wearing long sleeves, so i could barely see it, but he was cupping what looked like the end of a piece of metal in his hand... and half of it disappeared up his sleeve. i realized i'd seen it at the house one time.

he has this weapon he carries around when traveling. it looks like a five inch metal cylinder, but it drops down and expands to a good 16 inches or so in like a second if you need to defend yourself. you just hold it in your hand, and keep a finger on the end, and if you move your finger aside, it becomes a very threatening metal baton that could easily kill someone.

daniel tensed as someone moved in the bus alcove, and we girls shifted the tiniest bit closer to him and towards the bushes as we walked by a man who was moving in his temporary home on the bus stop floor. daniel developed eyes in the back of his head i think, as we kept walking.

daniel kept his hand out of his pocket and at the ready as we walked the last (and darkest) block to our hotel, and then we were safe. i walked into the hotel lobby and felt my whole body relax. it actually hurt when my muscles eased... i was THAT tense.

i have never in my life been as appreciative of a confident man who knows how to handle himself, as i was that night.

when we girls got back to our room, the door shut and we and let out a collective "HOLY CRAP!" in regard to our intense bodyguard and his secret baton weapon.

guys? bring on the hulk...

we women approve.

fire in nairobi

2009-01-29T11:32:00.000-08:00

we spent a couple days in nairobi before leaving for our flight to london. the first thing we experienced in nairobi was actually completely unplanned and totally random for us all.

a fire.

yeah, you heard me right... a fire. a huge grocery store caught on fire when the power to the store went out (which frequently happens here), and then the generator started up and exploded i guess. we had no idea that had happened... all we knew was there was a huge amount of smoke in the air the afternoon we arrived.

of course daniel had to go check it out... and we trust his judgement, so we were game for an adventure. he'd never knowingly take us into a dangerous situation. he knows this culture so well... he can figure out what's going on with a group of people in one glance... he's like 007 or something. pretty schnazzy.

we walked a few blocks and hit the outskirts of the crowd that had gathered to watch. i think its misleading to call it a crowd, though...

it was more like a mob.

of thousands of people.

like... every street filled with spectators.

nowhere was unacceptable to stand and watch what was happening... and in fact, the higher you got, the better. people were hanging off of each other on the barriers in the middle of the street... everyone was watching as the store burned, and it was like their version of a reality show... only this was as real as it gets.

one of kenya's prize cities was in jeopardy.

people cheered when it looked like the fire truck that was trying to get control of the fire looked like it was succeeding, and then hushed as the flames again lept out of control.

we were on the outskirts, so we walked to the safety of the somewhat empty sidewalks (since everyone was in the streets and on the road dividers getting as close as they could), and tried to see what was going on.

everything was fine... for about five minutes.

then the police showed up.

apparently it's not okay to stand on the barriers in the middle of the road, so when they charged into the crowd with their batons cracking on people's shoulders and heads, the hundreds of people on the barriers all jumped or fell into the crowd, and that in turn pushed the crowd towards us.

in a matter of seconds it was like a much too crowded concert. we put one hand on our bags incase of pickpockets (which dan had already warned us about), and looked to him for direction.

he started shoving.

when daniel starts shoving people, you seriously act like Jesus just gave you a command, and you start shoving too. when chaos happens, you look to daniel. i grabbed little lauren's hand, and kept my eyes on daniel's head since i could see over the mob of kenyans. i literally dragged lauren forward at some points i think. it was insane and SO cool.

i didnt feel in danger at all... i knew i had my hand on my bag, and i knew that dan was looking back every few seconds to make sure we were all following him. it seriously was awesome. if i ever lost sight of dan, i knew that because i was a tall white girl, he could see me and know that lauren was in tow as well, so it was great to be a tall white girl and very literally "stand out" in the crowd.

pushing... yelling... screaming... watching pickpockets steal from pockets right in front of me... fire... policemen with batons... kenyans who just wanted to be chased by police because they're bored with life...

it was awesome.

we got out of the mob and daniel stopped and turned around. once we assured him we were all okay, all four of us started gushing about how cool it was that we'd just experienced that.

once in a lifetime, people... once in a lifetime.

that night we ate dinner at a restaurant a block away from the fire that they had just put out, and the news was nothing but the fire. at one point, they showed a clip of when the fire truck first pulled up and the street was blocked by cars. the kenyan men literally were like bricks of muscle... four guys lifted a car multiple times, each time moving it further out of the way for the fire truck to go by.

within a minute, the entire street was filled with adrenaline-filled men lifting and dropping cars out of the way. there was MORE than enough room for the truck to get by at that point. daniel was sad he wasnt a part of the muscle men lifting the cars.

lauren and i and michele just started at the screen. it was THAT impressive. men + massive amounts of adrenaline feeding off of an intense circumstance? oh please... dont even get me started. they can do anything, i'm sure of it.

then we heard a huge commotion. the security guard at the front of our restaurant reacted quickly, pulling a huge iron gate down from the door of the restaurant just as hundreds of kenyans started dashing past us.

the police were breaking up the mob of onlookers.

they would break up the mob, and then we'd all watch out the windows from our seats in the gated restaurant as the bored young kenyan guys would go looking for trouble a minute after the police had chased them with batons, and they'd go running back to where the fire was only to be chased back again.

we laughed real hard when the police got on horses and the cavalry chased them past our restaurant.

they still went back for more... and then they deserved what they got.

tear gas.

seriously, we had no idea it'd been sprayed until i started plugging my nose because it burned. everyone was looking at me weird as i swore that something was wrong... and then it hit michele too... and lauren... and the whole restaurant.

we were all plugging out noses and closing our eyes. it wasnt really bad... just enough residue from outside where they'd sprayed it, that it was uncomfortable.

fire... mobs... police... cavalry... tear gas.

how much adventure can you have in one day?

never enough, that's for sure.

the shirt off his back

2009-01-28T11:03:00.000-08:00

so... daniel's a good lookin guy.

true story... and i was amazed that he has such good style when he lives - and shops - in africa for all his clothes. he does it for maybe an eighth of what we'd pay in the states for such a fabulous sense of style, and is so very proud of how good he is at bartering for everything he eventually owns.

i was intrigued when i heard of the clothes markets in kitale and what they were like, so i decided to check out some of these markets and see if i could find anymore cool items for his wardrobe.

sometimes it's good to have a girl's sense of style and what looks hott or not on a guy, and i thought he'd appreciate the thought. he totally did.

lauren took me all over town to markets and second hand clothing stands where i picked out some fricking cool stuff for daniel. i got a banana republic dress shirt for him that looks brand new, and is DEEP DEEP red for 150 shillings... like $1.50... no lie. and mind you, every single thing i bought, i haggled over the price for.

i skoffed... i coughed... i hissed... i shook my fist at a couple guys... even tossed shirts back at one guy who was particularly obnoxious and pushy, and all cuz i knew i could be pushier...

and all to hear the words i was waiting for: "eh...eh. price is not fixed. make offer."

oh man... it was my favorite day of shopping EVER. seriously, lauren and i felt so cool that whole afternoon.

then... then there was this one shirt.

THE shirt.

daniel needed to own that shirt... he just didnt know it yet.

i just had to get it for him.

i'm talking UBER cool shirt. patches on the arms that listed the cali beaches, and a faded yellow color to it with what looks like a stone washed rainbow across the front. it had layered brown on the undersize of the short sleeves, neck, and hem of the shirt, and i was obsessed with it. there was just one problem.

it was on a kenyan.

i told lauren "i want that shirt for dan" and in the next breath i said to the guy "my husband would look good in your shirt. will you sell it to me?"

it took everything i had to not lose my cool right there. i was seriously bartering with a man for the SHIRT OFF HIS BACK. what the crap was i doing? i wanted to laugh, but at the same time it was such a challenge! i just had to see if i could get him to sell it to me.

it was so exciting.

the guy looked at me... and then at the shop owner... and then when he smiled i knew he would be putty in my hands. i asked what size it was, and he had no idea... i was pretty sure it was dan's size, but i wanted to be sure.

so lauren checked.

when she stood on her tiptoes to read the tag on the back of the 5`11 kenyan's shirt, three other guys walked over to the stand we were at. it was dan's perfect size, and out little stand at the market was becoming a bit crowded with men who all wanted THEIR shirt tags read by the little blond texan... at least that's what i think.

he gave me a RIDICULOUS price, but i'd expected that much. after i haggled him for about 400 shillings less than what he originally told me, he walked to the back of the stand, and took the shirt off his back for me to give to my "husband".

the guy even agreed to take a picture with me. i'll post it soon.

anyways.. lauren and i walked away and mumbled in awe at what i'd just done for a half a block before it hit me and i stopped walking just to say "i just bought the shirt off a kenyan man's back. holy crap! how cool am i?!"

in the states, this would never happen... it'd actually be quite rude... but in kenya i made a young man's YEAR by giving him bragging rights that a mzungu bought his shirt off his back, and i had the funnest, boldest experience of interacting with kenya's male population that i've had YET.

i'm impressive, oh yes i am.

white women can braid

2009-01-27T10:22:00.000-08:00

a few days ago we went to eldoret to buy more crafts from robert, the owner of a craft store that gets their stuff from all over kenya. he has a wide variety of things to choose from that we can buy in large quantities.

it was a productive shopping day filled with buying both for TI, and also for friends and family back home that we wanted to get gifts for.

while in eldoret, lauren and ina took michele and i to the salon to get our toe nails painted. here, the nail and hair salons are called saloons.

we four girls went to the saloon (oh man, it never gets old typing that extra O in there) to get our nails painted. walking through eldoret was fun... the typical clicking tongues, and near accidents as people stopped to stare, and/or ran into the person in front of them on the street, since they'd stopped to stare at us too. haha.

we walked down an alley or two, and i took up residence on a rickety bench, and copied lauren's example. i put my foot up on the edge of the bench next to mine, and presented my filthy dusty feet to the man with the polish in his hand.

by the time he was done with my toe nails, it looked like they'd been AIRBRUSHED... he is THAT good with his tiny little design brush. i got a flower with detailed petals on each nail... it was amazing. he was amazing.

the wooden bench was in a 4 foot wide hallway where other women were sitting on rickety benches as well, waiting for their appointment at one of the 10 hair saloons that lined that same hallway.

even with the 20 or more women watching, i was just astounded by this man with the magical talent at painting nails. there was no massage... no oil or lotion or fixing of the crappy foot callouses that we women hate to admit that we EVER get, because they are just OH so feminine, eh? nope... none of that. just the painting of nails... and i felt like a queen when he was done.

in kenya, it's the little stuff that makes you feel girly... especially if you're dripping sweat and feel filthy.

as i paid the magical man 50 shillings (.75 cents) for his great job, he moved on to ina, and i sat there letting my nails dry.

a lady in the hair saloon across from me caught my eye, and told me she wanted to braid my hair. the hallway went quiet as the 20 women sitting on their benches waited for my answer... little did i know how i'd throw them for a loop when i replied with "oh... no thank you, i can braid my own hair."

holy mother... you wouldve thought i just said i could do brain surgery right then and there in that little hallway. the women started murmering, and the nail guy stopped painting inas nails, and the saloon lady said "your own? you can braid your own? not good though, eh?"

i must admit, i got a little sassy on the inside and thought of a comeback, but instead just decided to demonstrate.

right there on my rickety bench with my wet toe nails that were drying, i started french braiding my long, straight, highlighted hair. you know when you see multiple people stick their heads out on the side of a door, but you can only see one body? thats what it looked like from my seat.... just kenyan women striving to see the white girl braid her hair from their wooden benches lining the hallway.

some even stood to get a better look.

when i was halfway done, the saloon ladies from each shop had stopped what they were doing, to watch me. seriously, their customers had their hair sticking straight up with ungodly crap that looked like a mix of baby powder and vaseline, in it... and their hairdressers were holding hair dryers that were still on, and just pointing them at the wall. some came into the hall or stuck their heads out to see what i was doing.

when i was done, the lady who had offered to braid my hair came over to inspect my job and she just clicked and murmured in swahili to the other ladies before asking what my "smart" braid was called...

i told her it was called a french braid, and i couldve sworn as i walked out of the hallway with the girls a few minutes later, that the same saloon lady was trying out her new kind of braid. i wonder if her customer had requested it, or if she just decided that she would try to imitate me...

that's the "smart french braid" that the white girl taught her.

who knew i would be a trend setter in africa?

"she doesn't satisfy me"

2009-01-26T14:00:00.000-08:00

by the title of this blog, you can probably guess that i had another interesting interaction with a kenyan man.

yep... in the market.

the kenyan market is basically like a flea market in the states. if you've ever been to one, you know its pretty chaotic. everyone shouting and trying to get your attention and have you buy their goods. at the market, we go to one lady... mary. she owns a huge part of the market, and she has many women working for her to sell different fruits, grains and vegetables.

mary loves me... really, all the market ladies do. they want me to marry their sons and have huge kenyan babies. although im sure they all love having lazy, obnoxious husbands with wandering eyes, i think i'll pass... thanks. sounds like a good deal, eh? yeah.

lauren and i love sitting there picking out our goods while riling them all up by telling them that most men in america know how to cook and clean and do laundry. they just say "really? no... no. really?"

oh... and tell them that the majority of fathers in america (we would LIKE to believe) take an active role in their childrens' lives, and they think that's just impossible. so with all these conversations, you can get a better idea why i balk at the idea of ever flirting with - let alone MARRYING - a kenyan man. i can count on one hand the decent ones i've met while i've been here.

in the market, men usually walk through with huge boxes and sacks on their backs, so it's common to say a greeting (or four) while we sit there and chat with the ladies. this day was no different... except for one thing.

a tall african man - we'll call him Guy 1 - was standing right across from me, leaning against the nearest fruit stand (mountain of fruit and sacks about 3 feet taller than he was). for the first five minutes, he didnt move. he just stared at me. i'm used to it, but he was obnoxious about it which is NOT common... usually the men here are passive lookers and just shout something as i walk or drive by. they never just blatently keep staring when they know i'm aware of it (that i can see).

so Guy 1 gets up while i'm talking with rosemary, my favorite market lady, and tries to make conversation with me. do you know what my immediate thought was?

"entertain him, hope... you need a good blog".

so i did.

he asked me where i was from, why i was here, and a bunch of other stupid stuff before another guy - Guy 2 - walked up and joined our conversation. really, Guy 2 just walked up and greeted me... but Guy 1 gave him a death look and walked back to his leaning position against the fruit stand.

i answered Guy 2's greeting, and glanced at Guy 1 who was still watching the exchange intently. i said loud enough for all the market ladies to hear, "you are jealous that he is talking to me, yes?!" and the women ERUPTED in laughter as Guy 1 loudly denied my accusation.

Guy 1 came over to me to try and make my voice lower i think... but nice try. i'm a hepner... being loud is what i do... and when i'm being fiesty with an obnoxious man? oh please. you all probably heard me in america.

Guy 1 and Guy 2 had a grumbling exchange in swahili that i couldnt understand (and that the market ladies would not translate for me) before Guy 2 relinquished his position in front of me. Guy 1 had apparently made his intentions known. i had a feeling i knew what they were grumbling about, and i kinda hoped they'd throw down right there in the market.

intriguing... i think i found the one thing kenyan men are not passive with each other about - who gets the american supermodel.

i like stirring the pot, and especially when i am not going to be around a group of people for very long... so i said loudly, "you want to marry me, don't you?" and Guy 1 looked shellshocked before quickly stuttering "yes... yes!".

i asked him if he was married, and he pulled out his left hand that he'd been hiding in his pocket. "yes... but i will divorce her for you" he answered a bit quieter, looking around to see who was watching.

everyone was. have i mentioned that i SO love being the center of attention?! yup. true story.

"divorce her?" i said. "well, i would not be okay with that... she would be so sad. you should only have one wife anyways. it's not good for a man to marry more than one wife... plus, one woman is enough for one man to handle anyways!" oh man... the market ladies watched in quiet amazement that i was talking to a man like this, but i knew i was their hero since they were beaming from ear to ear.

apparently, even kenyan women get a bit jealous and insecure when their man has his eyes on another girl. i dont think kenyan women were consulted when their men decided they were too horny for just one wife.

tar and feather... that's all i got to say.

so the beaming market ladies were silently watching for Guy 1 to respond to me... and in my wildest dreams, i couldn't have planned what he said next.

he bent down and whispered a bit too loudly in my ear "no, no... my wife... she does not satisfy me anymore."

oh it took all i had in my not to just slam his arrogant, fat head into the tomato rack right then and there. instead, i quickly decided to use my confident personality and too white skin to my advantage.

i guffawed loudly (good word, eh?) and said "oooooh! i don't think you should be telling me such things!! maybe i will tell all the market ladies what you whisper in my ear... i'm sure they would like to hear what you think of your wife, no?!" oh man... he jumped back so fast. he covered his face with his hands as Guy 2 looked on in glee that he would be the one to marry me now, and Guy 1 said in terror, "no, no, no... you dont do that!"

too late. rosemary had overheard his loud whisper. in a matter of seconds, she'd shouted in swahili to the market women what Guy 1 had told me, and they went into an uproar. there was laughter and mocking and clicking tongues like he was a wayward child... it was so great.

have i told you how much i love rosemary? oh she is my FAVORITE.

Guy 1 looked like he'd been spanked, and sulkingly took up his leaning post again. Guy 2 walked over to me, and knowing that i already had my good story for my blog, i promptly let him know i would never marry a kenyan because they do not treat their women well. he glanced at Guy 1, and i think he sized up how well he'd be able to handle the supermodel's quick wit. he decided it wasn't worth it.

he moved on to lauren.

hahahahahaha. she told him she had a husband (daniel... he's our fake husband in case of obnoxious men), and that he could call daniel if he wanted to talk to her. Guy 2 walked away...

... only to come back with his phone. ugh. lauren gave him a fake number and sent him on his way.

rosemary and all the market women told me i was a good talker, and i informed them that i was just fiesty. after i explained the meaning of the new english word, they agreed... i am very fiesty. then they told me kenyan women are fiesty, too... but with their children, not their husbands.

oh. my. gosh. too much.

we rented a taxi (just a small car with a driver) to take us and our groceries home, and Guy 1 and Guy 2 followed lauren and i at a distance until we got in our car. i think they thought i'd change my mind and come running back to pick one of them because they were just SUCH a catch for any white girl.

suckas.

road crews

2009-01-25T13:59:00.000-08:00

eldoret is a town that's about a 45 minute ride from where i'm staying... and on the worst roads you've ever seen.

seriously, they will be in my nightmares someday - i know it! the roads we travel on are filled with holes at least a foot wide, and sometimes 3-6 inches deep. they are so fun to drive on... SO fun.

but get this... according to the kenyan people, if you check with their government that stretch of horrid road is "new".

the government put a ridiculous amount of money aside to pave the road between kitale and eldoret, and their books say it is "new", huh? not so much... only 20 miles of road were paved and the rest still remain untouched. THAT is how corrupt the government here is. its ridiculous.

once we get on the road, we see an interesting sight. since certain corrupt people have pilfered the money for the road to be fixed, the kenyan people still have to do something about being able to travel them... so the kenyan kids get a bit creative.

yep... you heard me. the teenagers. young boys transport dirt from holes on the side of the road and fill up the potholes in the road. then they put sticks with pieces of clothing on the holes (kinda like a flag) to show that they just worked to fill them up.

when you drive by these boys, they jump up from where they're sitting on the side of the road and rush as close as they can get to the vehicles driving by, and they shout and point to the holes so the drivers of the vehicles will pay them money for filling them.

sometimes they receive a few shillings from passing vehicles, but not much. we get so close to hitting them when we're driving by, that sometimes i have to close my eyes and hope we dont run them over.

the interesting thing is that those kenyan boys probably make up a good portion of the men here that actually arent lazy and take some initiative.

kenyan dental floss

2009-01-24T13:53:00.000-08:00

now, to understand the jist of this story, i need to help you understand a bit about my friend daniel's personality... and although an intimidating task, i think i'm up to it.

umm... how do i explain him? okay, so sometimes he... nope. crap.

wait. okay... he likes "joking" with people. really, all the guys in his family do... they like to see how gullible the average person is. if you ask a question, they'll give you a bogus but totally believable answer, and wait to see how long it'll take you to question it's validity. they think this kind of psychological manipulation is oooooh so funny.

whatever... they're lipparellis. enough said.

since i got here, i've been asking questions about kenyan culture ALL THE TIME, and i think sometimes dan gets tired of explaining. when that happens, i can usually recognize the gleam in his eyes as he gives me an answer that totally makes sense, but really is completely untrue... just the shock factor that he likes going for. usually within a few seconds i come to find out he's just messing with me, but he thinks it is hysterical. luckily, i'm not the only one he does it to.

we all have suffered through his "jokes"... but payback is a bummer. nah... really though, there are four girls here, and you gotta feel for the one american guy amongst so much estrogen.

not even kidding... with the four of us girls combined, we could probably float a hot air balloon just by blowing into it sometimes.

someone give the man a medal for putting up with us.

anyways... back to the lunch we were having. we walked into the "restaurant" and grabbed a table. i noted on the way to our table that the fly-covered fruit salad was not looking so hot today. someone had forgotten to put the lid back on the bowl.

appetizing.

the popular foods here are so weird, but some of it is palatable for the american taste buds, so i dont mind. instead of ugali or sukamawiki (no idea how to spell that) or some kind of weak soup that the kenyans call "curry", i usually get chicken and chips.

basically, chicken and chips can be whittled down to the following: you know american KFC chicken? yeah... its not anything like that. you get a piece of what must've been a very malnourished chicken's LEG (and that makes you wonder if it was hit and flattened by a matatu before it was sold to the restaurant), and three fourths of your plate filled with the most disgustingly oily french fries you can imagine.

i know, i know... but it's that or the "curry"... and lord only knows what animal died to became broth for that stuff. i'll take my chances with the chicken and chips.

so this day, we ordered and were sitting around laughing before the waitress (non english speaking kenyan) brought us a little side plate with our napkins (i mean serbiettes... napkin is the word they use for pms products here), utensils and... floss.

i thought it was this restaurant's equivalent of a toothpick... maybe they gave us floss because they ran out of toothpicks for us. not so much. it was probaly just a random string that fell off our waitress's shirt.

i looked at the plate and said "oh... is this floss?"

and daniel said "yeah... see?" as he imitated how you would use three inches of too thick string to floss your teeth.

quickly, i realized they had only provided us with one piece of floss, and i thought that was weird... so i said "really?"

walked right into that one, didnt i?

lauren and daniel were laughing so hard it took a good 10 seconds for daniel to gasp out a "no... not really!" as i realized i'd been duped again.

the non english speaking waitress brought me my roadkill and oil fries, and i mumbled "i hate everyone" as daniel put the random piece of string (or kenyan dental floss) aside so he could focus on gnawing the gristle off his piece of roadkill.

he didnt choke on it. that was sad.

daniel and the kenyan dental floss

the parade went by

2009-01-19T11:52:00.000-08:00

today we went to do food deliveries for three different projects that TI supports. to do this, michele and i went with anne and rented a truck with a caged in truck bed that we could load ourselves and all the food and supplies into. we drove for a couple hours each way, stopping to drop off the food and greet the families.

i know that up to this point in my trip i havent mentioned much serious or emotional stuff, and thats okay cuz i like to blog about the funny stories... the serious ones have just become so precious to me that its kind of like it would cheapen them to share them. does that make sense? i will just journal about those, because i wouldnt be able to explain them fully and help you understand them unless you were here experiencing them with me, so its better to use humor. it's relatable to everyone.

that said, i will say the following for all you emo people out there who want to know about the serious side of my trip thus far (wink, wink):
it was such a special experience to be passing out food to these families and be greeted with such warmth and gratitude. i know, i know... youre thinking "well, if someone was handing me a month worth of food, i would be thankful too!" but really, thats easy to say and not common to see put into action... not really. as americans i think we accept help with the intent to pay someone back, and there is a sense of pride that usually gets in the way of true gratitude. the people here are very aware God's providence through the generosity of others more fortunate than them is what gets them through today, and they have faith that tomorrow God will provide again. there is no "i'll pay you back when i can"... just tears that seem to say what words can not. they're just so real. and the people TI supports were the poorest of the poor here and so without pretense that you truly get to see what kenya would be like if there was no corruption or manipulation... its people are just so beautiful.

so that's that... the serious side of my experiences here.

moving on... it was another day of adventures. my favorite part was riding in the truck bed doing the deliveries. i just love going fast! when we got to the open road and had a good 45 minutes of driving ahead of us, i just stood up and held onto the iron bars that were about chest level in the back of the truck, and watched kenya fly by me. so thrilling! i think it is the closest i will get to riding on the top of a matatu... daniel isnt budging on that, and i hear that the kenyans wont let me, either. they are afraid if a mzungu gets hurt, no mzungus will ride matatus anymore.

kenyans stopped and stared at the mzungu with her skirt tucked between her legs so she wouldnt flash them all, and most shouted greetings or comments in swahili to michele and i as we flew by. it was pretty dang sweet.

when we got to the back roads (main roads to the people who lived there), it was like a roller coaster. branches would whip at my face if i didnt duck down or move to the side, and children were EVERYWHERE. i loved it so much... i got home and told daniel i felt like i was on a parade float all day.

the children would run out of their huts and houses and scream "mzungu! mzungu! 'ow ahre yOU?!" or if they were too scared to speak to me, i would shout at them "sasa!" (the cool street savvy way to say hello to a child) and wave if they were too scared to speak to me. on the way back we actually had children running and screaming after us as we left their villages... it was my favorite part of the day. they are so tiny that i just wanted to scoop them all up and hug and kiss them... i wanted to stop the truck and go play with them.

too bad i was on the parade float, though.

if i had stopped, they probably wouldve pulled out all the hair on my arms, though. kenyans do not have hair on their arms, so the children all "play" with (or rip OUT) the hair on our arms. its really funny that it entertains them so much.

who needs laser hair removal? just come to kenya.

piki pikis

2009-01-18T00:49:00.000-08:00

okay... the funnest part about writing a blog about the embarrassing but hysterical trials of riding a boda boda, is the joy in getting to write one about piki pikis (motorcycles). they are my FAVORITE mode of transportation.

bodas are 20 shillings from town, and they don't even bring us all the way home. the men huff and puff to get us about halfway to the house, and then they drop us at the foot of a hill that's impossible for them to pedal up with a passenger on the back... let ALONE me.

pikis cost 50 shillings (less than 75 cents) to go from town all the way to the gate of our house two miles away. they are the COOLEST way to travel short distances here (i havent had the opportunity to ride long distance on one, but i totally would if dan would let me. on main roads, its pretty dangerous from what i hear).

guys, i dont know how to explain the awesomeness of riding on a piki to you... but for the ladies, ive got it covered.

ladies... have you ever ridden on the back of a motorcycle with a guy friend, or maybe with your man driving you? you know all the petty girl stuff that goes through your mind when you did? well imagine how fun thatd be if you didnt have the american mindset. like... if you didnt care if your hair got messed up, or if you had the right "look at me, im so gorgeous as a biker chic" outfit... because imagine if you KNEW that every guy you passed by seriously thought you looked like his dream girl... if every person - man or woman - shouted hello to you like you were their best friend or some celebrity... that's what it's like riding a piki piki here. no joke... its an experience all on its own.

i seriously feel like angelina jolie or something, and i LOVE it.

i haven't taken a boda from town to the house yet... i dont care that its 30 shillings less... i'd rather not exhaust some kenyan man half my size and not even get all the way home.

haha... im totally lying. i couldnt care less about the money... i just love being the kenyan version of angelina jolie.

you don't know

2009-01-17T11:54:00.001-08:00

seriously... you dont know.

remember that "i will not be offended if..." list that i posted a few days ago?

my committment to not be offended was tested today... and so much so that i buried my head in lauren's shoulder on our matatu ride home today. it was pretty much the most horrible, humiliating, and hysterical kenyan experience for an overweight very tall white girl to have in one day.

today daniel, ina, lauren and i went to the Hope Bright Future children's home where many children who are sponsored through TI are housed. the children were precious, and i laughed and played and hugged and kissed them for hours... it was pretty much perfect... but that was the house.

the traveling there, though? oh dear God.

okay... so for my friends and family reading this, i would just like to say for the record, "i HAD a BAAAAD exPERIENCE!" that's your precursor to my adventures, and the only time i will mention its unpleasantness in the form of my utter humiliation at how my weight almost killed a few kenyan men today.

they might like my booty, but they dont like hauling it up hills, ya'll.

so... oh man. where do i start? okay... so when you get to the village where the children's home is, there is about a mile and a half of very hilly dirt roads that you travel by boda.

yes... i said boda. the bicycle... ME... on the back of a bicycle with kenyan men (yes, i just used the plural form) pedaling my butt up and over hills. does this worry anyone but me? good lord.

so we took a matatu to the village, and walked up the first really steep hill into a lush and green area in the hills of the village. the hills didnt look that big to me, but then again i didnt have to pedal up them with ME on the back. a bunch of boda drivers had followed us up the hill, and stood ready for us to get on each boda. i sized them up and started to worry.

daniel said "hope, take the one in front!" and i thought "seriously? do you need glasses? he's half my size!" but i trusted daniel, and got on. to dan's credit, the guy WAS actually the strongest looking one there... but that didnt change the fact that he was still half my size.

so dan gave my boda driver a not so little push to get him going (it was more like a running start), and we went along for a minute or two until the first hill. the FIRST hill. yeah... it was more like an INCLINE, and my driver definitely gave up.

GAVE UP, people! he tried... i give him that much... but he couldnt do it. all i could think was "alright, i better get to walking" because daniel and ina and lauren werent even in sight. i was all alone in the middle of a forest with a bunch of kenyans laughing at me, and a shrimpy one that couldnt get me where i needed to go. i know... i laughed at myself, too. i walked about 100 feet before a taller and stockier (thank God!) boda driver came from behind and stopped in front of me. it was the relay race i had originally put on that "i will not be offended if.." list.

he mustve been trailing us thinking "theres no way he's gonna make it, so i'll get her business" and there he was... just his luck... or demise... i'll let you decide.

he got me there. he stopped twice, and once a bunch of school girls saw that he was about to DIE i think, and they ran along and gave him some help by pushing us up a steeper hill. i was nonstop laughing at this point, along with EVERY SINGLE KENYAN along the side of the road. it was a spectator sport.

i didnt get mad or embarrassed... not until an older kenyan grandma yelled back at me "you shouldve taken a motorbike!" from her boda (who was passing mine). she looked at me like i was pointing a gun at a helpless child. i wanted to pull the trigger on HER. it was then that all those starbucks frappucchinos felt like dead weight on my thighs and i started to shrivel inside. it was not fun.

when my second boda driver got me to the children's home, he nearly fell over from exhaustion as daniel handed him 20 shillings more than the normal price... if i wouldve had 100 shillings for him, i wouldve given him it.

on the way back, it wasnt so dramatic... but a lady from the children's home saw the shrimpy boda drivers waiting for us, and yelled at them in swahili that they needed to find a driver who was strong enough to carry me. yup... not lying. by that point, i wanted lyposuction.

going back the way we'd come, the spectators who remembered my first two boda drivers and their olympic relay race to get me up the hills actually cheered for me like they were happy i was still alive and my drivers hadnt shot me. oh... and the school girls who helped my boda up that one hill? they followed me for a bit on the way back saying "you give us something!" like i ASKED them to push me.

i was no longer laughing... i wanted to flip them off... i wouldve yelled if we werent whizzing by.

which brings me to the end of my story... i think i broke the boda driver's bike on the way back. i didnt stop to see... i was too mortified. we started skidding when he was happy for the downhill part (or just couldnt move his legs), and when he used his brakes i think the chain of his bicycle rebelled and fell off. either way, i paid him double the normal price and ran to the sympathetic faces of the other mzungus who had been waiting for me for five minutes already.

they dont know.

TIA (this is africa) #2

2009-01-17T11:48:00.000-08:00

tia - this is africa

- while getting on a matatu, if you try to help a little girl up into it, she will hand you her chicken rather than take your hand (not even joking... the whole matatu busted up laughing while a wee one handed me her chicken. i guess the look on my face said it all)
- men who are left without a wife for a day of travel with their toddlers will strap a barstool onto the back of their boda and put the child in the upsidedown barstool. it is the kenyan carseat
- matatu drivers always have pictures of their "relatives" and "very good friends" on the windshields of their vans. everyone is related to, or friends with obama, tyra banks, shakira, akon, 50 cent, and many others
- if a huge group of men on piki pikis (motorcycles) passes you without passengers on their bikes, it's because they dont have licenses to drive, and they are running from the police. there is no such thing as a motorcycle gang here... just the future residents of the kenyan jail cells
- goats, sheep and cows are the pets of choice here... and children dont name them because they could be a pet for a day or a month, but eventually it will be dinner
- if you are white, you are rich... and you dont even need to prove it. kenyans will hand you whatever they're selling, and just stare at you like youre going to pull money out of thin air
- matatu drivers will yank an kenyan woman out of the front seat just to offer you and your white skin the best seat on the vehice... and the closest one to them (all matatu drivers are men)
- kenyan children will grab the flab under your arms and ooooh and aaaaah over it like its gold... because to them, it is. the bigger you are, the higher your dowry when you marry. i wonder how many cows i am worth... i dont think i want to know
- children will commonly shout " 'ow ahre yOU!?" as you pass, because i is the only english they know... and if you respond with "mazuri!" which means "good", they freeze with looks on their faces like "oh, she knows my language... i couldve said something better" but they moment has already passed, so they stare in dumbfounded amazement as you walk or drive on by
- when in town shopping, all kenyans will look you up and down... but if you greet them, they'll stare at the ground and say "mazuri" like theyre a child who has been caught with their hand in the cookie jar

you're in trouble now

2009-01-16T11:45:00.000-08:00

nyorotisi is a town about an hour and a half outside of kitale. TI was made aware of a grandmother who was trying to support her four grandchildren when they became orphans awhile back, and after evaluating the situation, TI now brings them food and support.

today we brought the grandmother and her kids their food supply.

now, i say this with all the love in my heart... but nyorotisi is seriously located in the buttcrack of nowhere.

this is how our traveling to nyorotisi went:
- anne, michele and i got on a matatu van with our food and supplies, and after 30 minutes our matatu was stopped by the police. from what i could figure out, our driver had pulled off into a part of the road that he wasn't supposed to stop on
- after the police officer took out his handcuffs, we knew we wouldnt be going anywhere on that matatu, so we got on another one with 20 other people (insert big ::sigh:: here)
- another 20 minutes of driving, and we were at the junction to get in the truck bed that would take us down another dirt road further from... uh... well, "civilization"
- we got to the junction, but the toyota truck's camper shell wasnt filled yet, so we waited for a half hour for the driver and another guy to find more passengers
- after finally leaving the junction with 14 passengers in the truck's camper shell, we drove to the place where we would catch bodas... and there was only one boda. yeah. only one
- the lone boda driver cruised along behind anne and i and michele, and we trudged down a dirt road for two miles in 90 degree heat... and no shade, mind you

after being greeted by the grandmother and her grandchildren, we started the walk back.

my favorite part of the day was traveling back... the kids in the area had all gotten out of school, and it must've been a school for younger children. mind you, most little kids have seen a mzungu (white person) like once or twice in their life... and NEVER a big tall mzungu.

THEY WERE TERRIFIED OF ME.

it was tragic. i was talking to them in swahili and holding my hand of sweets out to them, and they wouldnt let me get within 20 feet of them without BOOKING IT another 200 feet down the road before stopping and staring again. i really wanted to play with them, but they wouldnt even get near me. some older ones finally took a piece of candy, but i wanted to play with the little wee ones. aww. it was so sad.

finally i gave up and put my candy away, and a short while later michele said "i wonder what they'd do if you ran at them" and i was intrigued. i had to try it.

when i got as close as theyd let me, i screamed like a banshee and took maybe three huge lunges towards them, and they froze for a millisecond with mortified looks on their faces, and then FLEW down the road and into the nearest bushes they could find.

for the rest of the 2 mile walk, i walked by giggling bushes that got really quiet as i passed.

what smells... good?

2009-01-15T00:20:00.000-08:00

it smells here.

the smells are so bad - and so normal - that the body odor from 95% of the population around me doesn't even shock me anymore... it's commonplace, and you really cant do anything about it... so you just deal and chalk it up as part of the experience.

men walking by... the woman sitting next to me... the boda driver hauling my butt down a kenyan road... they just smell. i noticed it everyday, and at every moment for my first few days in kenya. now i only do on rare occasions when its just RAUNCHY and overly inconvenient for my nostrils to try and ignore someone's stench.

i didnt realize how used to the bad smells i'd become until i was at the internet cafe a couple days ago. i was typing away on my blog, and then was pleasantly surprised as i thought "that smells so good... what is it?" just in time for daniel to walk up behind me. a breeze had blown his cologne towards me as he walked in the door.

arent breezes amazing? i really loved that breeze. it had a special place in my heart that day.

it was so ironic... there i was, sitting among six men around me who probably hadnt showered in days or worn deodorant (ever), and what i was shocked by wasnt their stench but rather the amazing smell of dan's cologne. thats the way it is here though... you dont notice the bad smells after a few days... just the pleasant ones.

as dan left, i silently dreaded the next breath id have to take. i knew it would bring with it the common stench, and the knowledge that kenyan body odor had overpowered the good smelling italian (stallion. daniel requested i put that at the end of his new nickname).

god bless the italian stallion's cologne... it reminds my nose that this suffering will not last forever.

satan's koolaid

2009-01-14T00:16:00.001-08:00

so... within a couple days of being in kenya, i noticed i had a scratchy throat and a bit of a headache. i wasn't alarmed, as i usually get a cold during or after traveling, so i thought i'd be fine. well, a couple days went by and although i was getting used to functioning on very little sleep and being a bit run down, i realized i'd better take something for my cold. i had been taking emergen-c packets everyday since before leaving america, so i knew i had enough vitamins, but i think my body was just in rebellion from traveling and jetlag, etc. so it didnt help.

for you to understand the remainder of this story, i feel the need to state a well-known fact about my sleeping habits.

i snore.

yes, it's true... i do. in fact, i snore loudly... and when i am sick and my nose is stuffed up, i am not offended when people use the phrase "freight train" when describing the sound of my nasal cavities. what am i gonna do? i cant help it. so... with that little precursor to my story, i will tell you that lauren and michele and ina, my roommates here in kenya, have not gotten a good night's sleep with me in the room. i've had a head cold since i arrived.

on day 3 of hope not being able to breathe properly at night, michele volunteered a bit of her vitamin supplement she brought with her to kenya, to see if she could cure me and help everyone get a good night of sleep. now, keep in mind that i am (and i say this lightly) NOT a morning person... so when michelle says "i'll go make you some vitamins," i barely have the ability to put together a "thank you" and brush my teeth, let alone ask what it tastes like.

i shouldve known from the look on her face when she came in the room stirring what looked like a weak milkshake, that it was gonna be bad... but i had no idea. she handed me the cup and said "plug your nose and just swallow".

i am so stupid... i listened to her.

even with my nose plugged, i felt like the taste buds on my tongue would never recover. the putrid odor of what i have not so affectionately dubbed "satan's koolaid" was enough to turn my stomach, but i chugged it. when that last swallow was gone, i gasped for air (which made it SOO much worse) and all i could think to say was "MOTHER TRUCKER!" as i leaned over the sink in our room waiting for the puking to start... it was THAT bad.

there was no puking... but if it wouldve, i guarantee the first time it went down couldn't be worse than the first time it came up.

so, there you go... the worst thing i've put in my mouth while in kenya was actually from america.

babies and a birthday party

2009-01-13T00:15:00.000-08:00

we have a couple families staying here with us at the TI compound.

katherine and her two little ones, anna (5), and joseph (3), are darling. the kids just love being here. they run around the compound dragging the guard dogs with them, along with any extra mud or dust they can find. its adorable, and quite the exciting adventure in even the smallest little things that only wee ones their age would notice... like following the ants to their hill, or the storks swooping over the backyard. it's all so exciting for them... and anna is currently reading over my shoulder as i write this blog. haha... hi anna.

she just read that and said "heeeey! why did you write that to meeee?!" as she tossed her head of curls that make her look like tarzan's child. oh she's a cutie.

the young couple we have staying here with us, mike and manon (man-oh), are amazing. we just adore them and their wee one, aliyah. its been a rough trip for them having to adjust to the time change along with life overseas with a one year old in tow. i dont know how they survive on so little sleep and still doing all they do during the day with their different projects in town. i love that manon's mother tongue is french. she speaks to aliyah in it... so, naturally, she also sings her french songs. it isnt uncommon to hear a soothing french lullaby wafting down the hall as she tries to get aliyah to bed. its so beautiful and surreal.

that said, manon wanted to have a surprise birthday party for mike... so on friday morning she got him out of the house to go meet with people at some projects they and a group of people from canada support. success! he was gone, and dan and lauren had covertly hired a few kenyan women to come and cook a feast for the 40 or so children that would be arriving around noon at the house.

at 9am, ina, michele, lauren and i went out to the side of the house where mark and derek (the newest TI staff members), had built 3 traditional kenyan firepits the day before. basically, just imagine three huge rocks in a triangle with space between them to build a medium sized campfire. on top of each of those, an army sized pot to hold cabbage (that we cut), tomatoes (that we boiled and then sliced), and a huge amount of meat and potatoes. most of the time michele and i didnt know what the crap we were doing, and the cooks corrected us, but we had a successful experience. along with all that was enough chapati (really thick flour tortillas) for the 40+ people.

it was alot of food.

the food was prepared and cooked for 3 hours and then the kids arrived. shortly afterwards, mike came back to the house and was thrilled that most of the kids from their projects had come to surprise him. he had no clue, so manon was pleased that the party was a success. the rest of the day was filled with laughter and games and pictures... and of course the eating of the food.

the kids loved the nailpolish i brought with me. ina and i painted toes and fingers for a good hour before the two bottles of polish id brought out were gone. they were such a hit. even some of the adult women asked for me to paint their nails... i hear the nailpolish will be an equally fantastic hit with the older kids as well as the young ones we saw at the party.

boda boda

2009-01-12T00:10:00.000-08:00

on the way back to town from the neema girls' project, i had my first boda boda ride.

a boda boda is a bicycle taxi... basically in the states it'd be the equivalent of an older schwinn bicycle with a metal rack on the back... only these metal racks are about 20 inches long (if that), and are welded onto the bicycle so they can hold the weight of a human being.

the bikes are seriously so funny... most of them have what i can only describe as little padded skirts coming off the back of their passenger seat racks, and normally a saying like "god loves" or something religiously cheesy is scrawled in permanent marker on the sides of the seat skirt.

seriously, they need all the Jesus they can get when driving on these roads... good LORD it's chaotic and dangerous.

before i left the states, i was telling my sisters and daniel's family that as id heard the stories from here, there were a few things i would not be offended by in africa, and was going to prepare myself for. most were about the boda rides.

my "i will not be offended IF..." list was as follows:
- if... kenyans call me fat... because i am, and because to them, it is a compliment
- if... a boda driver tells me he wants double the shillings to ride my butt two miles across unsmooth dirt and hilly ground... cuz seriously, i'd demand double to carry an amazonian white girl on the back of my bicycle, too
- if... after receiving double the payment for riding me on his bike, the kenyan man half my size decides to make me walk up a hill rather than attempt to ride me... cuz thats just being smart, and i admire good sense in a man
- if... after watching me trudge up the hill after him and his bicycle, he changes his mind about riding me the rest of the way and just runs away with my money... nope. i wont mind.
- if... it's like a relay race to get me where i need to go. i wont mind... itll be more adventurous and the stories will be better

so these are all the things i'd thought about my boda boda ride BEFORE coming to africa... and i was quite intrigued to see if any would come true.

none did. it was so much better than i couldve dreamed up.

i got on the boda with the biggest beefiest driver (probably 170 lbs... if that), and i hiked my skirt up between and around my legs, as we took off and daniel told his boda "follow her" (bodas have tried to run off with white girls who didnt know where they were going, before). i still didnt know the middle of a forest from the road to the compound at that point... so dan made sure i got where i was going.

staying on the bike was fine... ive got good balance. i just wanted to laugh so hard, though. the following story shouldve been embarrassing, but it wasnt. it's just part of the experience here.

other bodas would be passing us, and my driver was huffing and puffing like his life depended on it. the comments (which i'm sure were ones of pity) from the other drivers and their passengers, as well as the kenyans who stopped on the side of the road to watch him ride me by, were enough to keep him going i guess. i felt sorry for him on some uphill parts, so i said "sawa.. sawa" in swahili with means "good... good". it was all i could do to apologize for the fact that he probably wouldnt be able to ride anyone for like a day. i'm sure i broke his legs.

he was a celebrity for that 5 minute one mile bike ride... though what can i say? i live to promote the kenyan celebrity of those who taxi me around when its too far for me to walk, or too hot to make the effort.

oh... and in case youre wondering, i paid him 20 shillings... which is like 25 cents.

neema girls' project

2009-01-11T02:40:00.000-08:00

the neema girls' project is a home for street girls who could easily become, or already once were, prostitutes.

we went to see the neema girls and had a blast visiting with them. it was michelle and i's first time to go and experience the way the girls relate to one another away from the roughness of the streets.

believe me when i say these girls are BEAUTIFUL.

seriously, they are stunning. some are softer in demeanor than the others, and some are rougher (all depending upon the amount of time they spent on the streets, or their backgrounds), but they bond together like a family.

the simplest thing to help teach them english is used when we visit. lauren and i sang and danced the hokey pokey with them for a good 15 minutes, and they loved it.

i brought out my camera and ipod (with speaker), and omigosh... we danced to beyonce (let's hear it for the single ladies!), they braided our hair, and we all talked and laughed. for a couple hours.

the way daniel interacts with each girls on a personal level is pretty amazing. many come from very heartbreaking pasts of abuse or mistrust when it comes to men, so he doesnt push when he visits once a week to check on them and their housemother and teachers... they all just set their level of familiarity, and he goes with the flow.

to them, he is "uncle dan", and you should see their faces light up when he's around. to some, i'm sure he is the only many they have ever - or maybe will ever - trust... and it's touching to see.

i am getting used to the culture here, but man is it awesome to see how people who have been here for a few months (or years, in dan's case) have adapted to the culture and its people, habits, relational habits and skills, etc. it is pretty mindblowing.

if you have a pair, you apparently don't care

2009-01-11T02:22:00.000-08:00

okay... so i have narrowed down the rudeness in this culture to the following statement:

"if you have a pair, then you apparently don't care"

i say this because the other day lauren and i were doing errands in town, and a boy probably about 14 years old just leaned up against a truck about 3 feet away from where lauren and i were standing on the sidewalk (and by sidewalk, i mean rock-hewn ditch), and he just stared at me.

so naturally, lauren yells at him and asks him in swahili what he thinks he's doing, and he makes the following statement: "she is good to look at", and goes right back to staring at me like it's his right.

now, mind you i'm thinking at this point that i could literally just throw him over my shoulder and spank him for being rude, but apparently in this culture if you have a penis, you can be as bold and as outspoken as you would like - to whomever you like.

lauren though? oh man... lauren is about 5'6, blonde, and one heck of a fiesty texan girl. she knows enough of the language after her 5 months here, to give any man a good tongue lashing. the part that's ironic though, is that she usually gives the tongue lashings on my behalf because i dont know the language yet... so here you have me, a 6' amazonian white girl, standing in the middle of the ditch kinda looking blankly at a 14 year old kenyan thinking "i have no idea what you're saying, but i could kick your butt, so i'm not worried"... and then a little blonde texan half my size stepping in front of me to "protect" me. oh man... it's so funny.

the only reason lauren can do that is because the men here are SOOOO unconfrontational. they might think they run the world and can do anything they want, but if anyone seriously questions that right with a loud enough voice, then they back down.

seriously, i can't wait for the first time i get to shake my fist (which has a fake 20 shilling wedding band on it to ward off some of the men) at an obstinant kenyan man and shout "MY HUSBAND WILL BEAT YOU!" until he backs off. seriously, that will be a blog in its own... not even kidding. it'll be soooo awesome. that will be my favorite day in kenya, i think.

kolongolo school

2009-01-07T03:58:00.000-08:00

we went to kolongolo to be there for the inauguration of it's first preschool. the people were so thrilled to have us there, and it was a fantastic community. the women and children are beautiful, and the men are obnoxious and obstinent. :)

after the ceremony where too many people spoke, we were invited into the home of the school leader to enjoy lunch while lauren and anne, TI's social worker, took measurements for the children's uniforms.

after sitting down and having my first cup of frickin AMAZING kenyan chai tea, and some eggs and buttered bread, the chief of the village and his wife started talking to one another, and i noticed he was pointing to me. i met his gaze, and daniel, michelle, and seven other adults watched on as he said the following:

"you... you are big. how many kilos? how much do you weigh?" to which i paused one second before answering, "too much!"

daniel watched with an amused look on his face, and i wanted to bust out laughing SO HARD. i am aware that in kenya my height and weight make me every man's ... uh... well, fantasy... but the chief actually asking me that just amused me to no end. i wasn't offended at all.

right after he asked me and i answered, though, another man - victor, i think - said "chief... with respect, i tell you americans do not ask these questions. they are considered rude." and then he looked at me and said "a woman's weight is her.. her... secret WEAPON in america, no?!" and that's what it took to get me laughing. i said "yes... yes it IS an american woman's secret weapon!"

there were so many funny conversations that afternoon, but the highlight was the ride home. we rode on an original matatu... basically the smallest toyota truck you can imagine, with a 5 foot tall camper shell on the back. we crammed 21 people inside the shell, and 4 on top. it wasn't so bad, because i was so amused and it was my first experience... but i am now trying to convince daniel to let me ride on top of one before i leave. he thinks its dangerous,but i think itd be an adventure on a not so bumpy road (which i dont think exists).

first trip to kitale town

2009-01-07T03:29:00.000-08:00

okay... so lauren is pretty frickin amazing, not gonna lie. she makes me laugh so hard, and she and i and michelle (and now ina) have soooo much fun together. we're getting to be a close knit little family after a few days together.

the second day in kitale, we went on our first trip to town, and lauren was our guide. something she told us we had to learn really quick, is that when outside, the bigger the vehicle or bike, that's the one that has the right of way. a semi and a matatu will literally play a game of chicken until the matatu driver realizes that he will NOT win, if the semi driver isn't bluffing. either way, mini van does not trump semi truck.

the same can be said for people (even white people), and boda boda drivers. boda bodas are bicycles with seat on the back... kinda like the bike every kid wants, because he can transport kids on the little seat on the back.

the first trip to town, here are a few things that happened:
- i crossed the road near the most busy turnaround in kitale, and a boda came out of nowhere, and i had to take a big step to the other side of the road to avoid getting hit. no sooner did i take the step, but every black person around michelle and lauren and i shouted "eh! MAZUNGU MAZUNGU!!" (hey! white person, white person!)just in time for me to avoid being flattened by the matatu i had just stepped in front of.
- a man shouted "eh! obama family!" at lauren, and she explained that here, americans are thought to know president obama personally... and he's a celebrity here. so if someone asks you if you know obama, you say yes, and they say "oh... me too.he is my best closest friend!" and then apparently you are the coolest thing on the PLANET. it's really histerical.
- my first visit to a kenyan store was eventful, as a man was getting bodily dragged from the store by five grown men who honestly looked like they were having a HARD time of getting him out of there.
- while touring shop building, a drunken man walked up to me and looked at lauren and tried to barter for me to be his wife. seriously? little lauren is going to sell me to him? puhLEEZ.
- five minutes later, we were taking pictures of the scenery from that same building's top floor, and a man walked up to me and told me "i like your body" straight to my face. yeah... no joke.
- i walk down the street, and matatus slow down, bodas nearly collide with each other, men click their tongues at me, women shout "oh..oh wow. wowowow." at each other, and watch me pass by with jealous eyes. what i didnt truly understand upon coming to kenya is that white people are celebrities here, but tall white girls who are overweight like me are pretty much considered SUPERMODELS. its so funny.
- we went to the market, and five market ladies stood up and started cackling until one shouted "FAITH! FAITH!" and not until i was in the midst of all of them, was i able to get my hand free enough to grab a picture of faith and say "no... no faith is my TWIN... we are sisters!" and they just thought it was the most amazing thing theyd ever heard or seen. rosemary, a markey lady next to me, says faith is much better at swahili than me, and lauren had to tell her i'd only been there for two days. rosemary also says faith is her "very best good friend". then of course michelle and i got swahili lessons from the women around us. they just loved it, and i fell in love with their weatherworn smiles and loud cackling laughs when i messed up a word. seriously, i think i probably end up cussing at kenyans in their language like 20 times a day just because i have no idea what the crap i'm saying half the time. haha
- when we met dan and a few people for lunch later, i asked lauren if kenyans used napkins, and she looked at me really funny for a couple seconds and then it registered what i meant. she shouted out "eh... serbiettes?" to our waitress, and then whispered to me that napkins are feminine products here. ugh... ive never been so thankful for lauren in my life. i probably would've sad it outloud for the whole restaurant to hear if she wasnt around.

life here is an adventure, and i am so enjoying it all. for now it is new and exciting, and there is always something new to do. the TI team never seems to tire of the endless outings and checkups they do. my entire first two weeks has already been planned out. phew.

TIA (this is africa)

2009-01-04T23:39:00.000-08:00

daniel has a saying: TIA

it means "this is kenya", and it's his way of saying life here is very unpredictable. he is soooo right.

michelle and i are here safe and sound, and our travels were super safe. i've never been overseas, so it was a great time to experience even the sucky parts of traveling, like waiting... and waiting... and waaaaaiting for flight, baggage, etc. good times for sure, and always fun meeting new friends.

on the ride from SFO to London, i sat by a girl named kate, and she was going home to london after visiting her man in san fran... he just moved. she and hit it off, and she became my first friend in london. she heard i was gonna travel around the city for a day when we landed, and wanted to show me around, but her parents already had her day scheduled since she missed Christmas, so she and i and michelle are going to have dinner together on our return layover in london. she was a doll, and so fun to talk to! i love all the different accents of people we heard and talked to during our travels.

i'm in an internet cafe in kitale right now, and it costs around 1 shilling per minute for internet. keep in mind that 78 shillings equal one american dollar, and you get around 78 minutes for one dollar. super cool!

to make the most of this email, i'll give you little TIA (this is africa) blurbs from my travels:

- zebras, baboons, goats, dogs, pigs, and cows are only a few of the animals you will see along the road here
- men do relatively NOTHING compared to women here. they sit on their butts and the women are like little flies buzzing around doing everything. its really interesting, and makes me want to throw rocks at the guys until they at least shift over a few inches on their well-worn patches of sand they keep indenting with their butts. ugh.
- there is a stand selling potatoes, fruit, bottles of recycled tea or soda, or something equally scary, about every 1/4 mile here
- i had lunch at a restaurant (or "hotel) and had my first african meal of somosas, chapati and bananas, which is pretty decent... i'm gonna have to get used to onions being the choice flavoring for food here. its not pleasant to my palate. blecht
- we went throught he rift valley
- crossed the equator (twice)
- thought the shuttle we were on for 3 hours was going to literally vibrate apart from its hinges, but miraculously it did not disintegrate under me (unlike my emotional stability while nearly dying 3,000 times in 3 hours)
- daniel thinks is "rocked to sleep" by his head pounding against the shuttle window, because his tolerance for kenyan travel is unreal
- tailgating is not a word here... it is the way you drive... along with cutting people, semis, and buses off just because you can
- everyone wears beanies, hats, scarf, or sweaters, just because the can
- 70 degrees is cold to africans
- a thin kenyan mattress feels like memory foam crafted by Jesus's very hands after 48 hours of traveling, and only 5 hours of random sleep

thats just a portion of the things i remember from our 9 hour trip on taxi, shuttle, and kangaroo (small minivan), to the TI compound. the compound is beautiful... lush and green, although i want to buy a slingshot and shoot the bird that are obnoxious in the morning.

michelle and i are not alone here. we have company in daniel, lauren, ina (who is in mombasa visiting with her family who came to see her, but should be back in the next couple days), and two families with little wee ones, along with mark and derek, two new TI staff members.

we all sat around and talked and sang this morning for a good hour or so, and it was soooo relaxing and familial. this is my second day, and it's been amazing.

on our way... in london now

2009-01-03T04:52:00.000-08:00

okay i have exactly 5 min left on this computer.

quick rundown...

- sfo is an amazing airport. so much fun to travel when you start there. real simple to navigate.

- 10 hour trips to london should be done with a neck pillow and a blanket to throw over your head so no one can see you drooling

- watching the little map on the plane's tv screen, of where you are over the world is kind of like being in the "where in the world is carmen sandiego" game

- i have never had a more horrid breakfast in my life, as i did at the london airport this morning. who the heck eats eggs, sausage, baked beans, steamed mushrooms, steamed tomato, and like... other UNMENTIONABLES for breakfast? seriously, i wanted to puke.

- when in doubt of how much you need to pay someone in pounds, just hold out your money and say "take what you need"

clam chowder while we wait

2009-01-01T19:32:00.000-08:00

i'm in benicia, ca - and i'm lovin it!

its a really gray but beautiful day in the bay area. faith dropped me off at michele's house around noon. she made the drive so easy and relaxing, and it was great to get some quality time in with just she and i before i left.

michele and i walked down to a cute little restaurant after faith left. the menu listed suuuper expensive entrees, but only $5 for a huge bowl of the best clam chowder i've ever had. it was so good. the restaurant was on the second floor of a renovated historical house enclosed with glass windows. i loved watching the waves crash outside on the rocks while i enjoyed my hot meal.

it is so surreal to think in 48 hours i will be halfway around the world... but i have no fear of the unknown adventures i'll be embarking on, and i'm just itching to get on the plane now!

a calendar and some nailpolish

2008-12-31T12:53:00.001-08:00

for two months my ghetto fabulous africa countdown calendar has served me well. today is my last day at work before my month-long vacation, and i put on the last little cutout elephant. all done.

tonight i'll finish packing and try to get some sleep before i leave reno tomorrow afternoon.

oh! did i already mention the suprise i have for the orphan girls i'll be spending time with? i have little bottles of nailpolish i'll be bringing with me to paint their nails. apparently they obsess over bright nail polish. its a little something to make them smile.

(me in the walmart checkout line buying the polish)

shopping is easy... packing is harder

2008-12-26T23:09:00.000-08:00

shopping for a trip? oh i can do that... that's the easy part.

it's the shopping for everything i need, and the gathering of everything to pack, that's so easy.

the packing though? i keep thinking i'm going to forget something, and because of that my list of things to bring has gotten a bit longer than i thought it'd be.

i think i'll end up gathering everything i think i need and then packing and repacking a few (million) times just to make sure i've been as efficient as possible and haven't forgotten anything vital to my trip. it'll take alot of trial and error, but i'm betting the quantity of things i pack will go down a bit more each time i repack.

tomorrow i am shopping for a whole lot more things i need like the proper wardrobe and just little necessities that i have to stock up on... i will feel so much better when those items are purchased and i can start the aforementioned packing and repacking cycle.

14 days

2008-12-19T11:18:00.000-08:00

i leave for africa in 14 days.

14 days.

holy mother!

i've never been out of the country before, so i'm a bit nervous, but i know it'll all be good. my friend michele and i are sooooo excited. i drive down to her house in the bay area, on jan 1st, and then we leave from SFO around 12pm on jan 2nd. we'll fly to london and have 12 hours from 7am to 7pm, to bum around london. then we hop on our plane again and go to nairobi where we will meet up with the dan man, and get on some form of ghetto fabulous african "transporation" and travel 10 hours to kitale, kenya.

omigosh its probably going to be so long and exhausting, but i dont even care... not in the least bit. wanna know why?

'CUZ I'M GOING TO AFRICA!!

freaking exciting, is what that is...

so that's the plan for now. i've been getting travel advice from everyone who's been there, and keeping a running list of what i'll need to pack in my suitcase. i'm going to recruit some friends to help me pack - and eliminate certain things - from my suitcase next week.

i'll keep you posted!

hepner christmas pictures

2008-12-18T13:31:00.000-08:00

we took christmas pictures while bill was in town for the holidays.

enjoy!

a birthday celebration to remember

2008-10-06T16:33:00.000-07:00

this past week, faith and i had the best birthday of our lives. autumn loves being hostess, and decided to outdo herself with an amazing surprise 25th birthday party for us.

she enlisted the help of family and friends, and to their credit, no one at all let the secret leak! my roomies even kept the secret...

jenn sturtevant and her beautiful family came and added to the joy...

faith and i were blindfolded and led to what we thought was going to be a nice dinner with our friend jonathan, and sister joy at a local restaurant. not so much... with the shout of "1, 2, 3 SURPRISE!" the blindfolds came off, and we were speechless. we couldn't do anything but giggle and smile for a good 3 minutes. :)

after a bit of "omigosh i cant believe you gave us a suprise party!" conversation, we were told there would be dancing as well... to which my face looked something like this:

faith and i couldn't do anything but smile like giddy schoolgirls all night long. thanks to autumn and mom and dad and the friends and family that came, we will remember and cherish our 25th birthday celebration forever.

who says growing up isn't fun?!?! not hepners...

(anyone wishing to see all the pictures can visit my facebook album for the party HERE)

i got it!

2008-10-01T16:27:00.000-07:00

in every traveler's life there is a moment when the true sense of american freedom actually hits you. for me, it was this moment:

when i got my passport.

holiness

2008-09-24T15:33:00.000-07:00

"Holy is the way God is. To be holy He does not conform to a standard. He IS that standard." ~A.W. Tozer

passport? check!

2008-09-24T13:21:00.001-07:00

the man at the counter eyed me over his dark-rimmed spectacles as i leaned over his counter at the post office, alert and ready to shove my birth certificate and already completed passport paperwork at him. when requested, the papers flew to his hands as if they had a life of their own, and i was ready! ready to give him my hundred dollars and even let him keep my drivers license if he needed it. all to have my freedom... freedom in the form of that little booklet called a "UNITED STATES PASSPORT".

::queue the hallelujah chorus, please::

yep, he had all the paperwork, my money, and everything he needed. as he eyed me with an amused "i wonder where she's going" expression, he glanced from my face down to the paperwork with a little chuckle.

he didn't even need to ask. i volunteered the information in an excited rush of words. "africa. i'm going to africa. kitale, actually. my parents bought my ticket and now i'm going to see my friend daniel who started a nonprofit over there. i'm excited."

he looked at me like i was a nutcase. i didn't blame him. poor guy... he was the only person within earshot for me to talk to. oooh.. unless i took off around the corner and into the post office packing area to regale a helpless postworker grandmother with my excited squeals about how i would have the freedom to travel the world once i received that beautiful little book with blank and stampable pages for recording every place i will go...

sigh. no... i wasn't in the mood for a strip search and night in jail when they cuffed me for crossing the painted yellow line and jeopardizing the privacy of united states citizens and their private mail. Lord only knows what i would've seen. oh well. the poor passport guy would have to suffer through my exuberance all on his own. after the first squeal of joy when i signed the papers with him as my witness, the following four or five didnt really phase him.

as a matter of fact, i believe he was genuinely excited for me and my adventure, and shared that he has an aunt in kenya. ha! i invited him to come. heh heh.

when i walked outside i saw the world in a whole new light... it was mine. mine for the taking!! the world was my oyster! i squealed as the door shut behind me, and i could've sworn i heard the passport worker chuckle as i walked away.

a successful project

2008-09-14T17:00:00.000-07:00

ever since i've lived with my roommates, we've needed furniture. we're getting it from my roommate's parents when they get their storage truck over to our house, but there have been some time delays, so i've laughed alot at the state of our living room and dining room. i decided that i would purchase a dining room table because that was not on the list of things we'll possibly be receiving from the elusive storage truck.

after stalking craigslist for a month, i found a table i wanted. it was pub style, cheap, and God just gave me a peace about purchasing it. once i got it into the house and the roommate's boyfriend and i put it together (it was in pieces when i bought it), i realized the silver just didnt match anything else in the house. i just had to do something about that.

after debating for a couple days, i ran to walmart and bought some textured spray paint to see if i'd like the way it looked. i tested it on an extra piece of metal from one of the chairs, and loved it! it took me 3 hours to tape around the seat cushions with duck tape and plastic, protecting them from the 10 bottles of spray paint i would eventually end up using, and then another 3 hours of spraypainting and 2 more waiting for it to dry. i couldn't believe how fun it was, this little project of mine! i totally owned that table.

every time i walk in my house now and see it, i think of how proud my friend jenn would be of me. she's a crafty lil momma and has a new project every week it seems. i am so in love with my table now, and love that i can say i kinda created it. :)

before:

after:

happy family

2008-09-14T08:43:00.000-07:00

autumn's birthday was yesterday. it was so special to get to spend the day with her.

faith hosted a little part of sorts at her house, and after some time hanging out eating and laughing we decided we needed to go do something together. it's cool hanging out, but sometimes you just gotta go on an adventure together.

our adventure took us to the wild island family adventure park's miniature golf course. i wouldn't be able to explain half of the craziness that happened that night, but suffice to say there was laughter... lots of doubled over, pain-in-your-side, i'm-laughing-so-hard-i-can't-breathe, kind of laughter.

miniature golf with the hepners? now that is a sight!

here are some pictures from our night:

the ball keeps rollin...

2008-08-29T11:19:00.000-07:00

Holy crap, I'm freakin excited!

You’d think that would be enough of an amazing testimony about how he’s providing, wouldn’t you? Nope… his plans and purposes FAR exceed anything I could hope for. My friend Rebecca Shaevitz was telling her roommate and coworker, Michele (who is in her last year at seminary), about what God was doing with my trip to Africa, and the Holy Spirit impressed on Michele that she was to go as well. She didn’t know how she would get a plane ticket as they go up in price more and more every day, and she didn’t have the money to purchase one. Well, God had a plan for that as well – he always does, doesn’t he? She asked her boss for the month of January off, and her boss said something like “Absolutely… and I would like to buy your plane ticket. Would you allow me to do that?” I think at this point Michele actually said “Uh… yes?” as if it was even a question?!?! Yet again… God prepares the way before us.

Michele purchased her flight yesterday, and God provided a great price for the exact flights I booked my ticket on - with seats right next to mine. He has brought us together on this trip, and we are in suspense waiting for how next he will continue to guide our paths on this amazing adventure!

So… Michele will be going with me and earning credit for her Union Degree, studying the structure and ministries if TI; I will be going to learn the ins and outs of the ministry as well, seeing up close and personal the ministry I help support with my time here in the states. It’s this weird thing though that I’m going through right now - I hesitate to make any predictions on what my time there will be like. There is a stirring of Spirit in me that makes me think He has much more planned for my time there than I could ever imagine or expect.

I covet your prayers - and advice - for my trip. Even with four months until liftoff, I get more excited every day!!

africa or bust

2008-08-18T23:43:00.000-07:00

on january 2, 2009 i will be leaving for my first trip abroad. i will be departing from san franciso, ca and arriving 10 hours later in london for a layover before my next flight to nairobi airport where daniel lipparelli (from transformed international) will meet me for the 8 hr matatu ride to kitale, kenya.

"well that's a fast decision" you might say, but oh no my friends... that's GOD. he laid it on the hearts of my parents to provide me with money for a plane ticket to africa when i hadn't even planned on going! then he opened doors for me to be able to leave work for the month of january as well... and seriously, when do bosses say "how awesome! when are you going?!" yeah... mine did. totally a God thing. :)

when i try to explain what's going on in my head and how excited i am, it just comes out as "EEEEEEEE!!" in a squeal of glee. haha

i have four months to prepare and watch what God does as he opens even more doors for me to board that plane to africa, and i've just given the whole trip over to him. He has already started the ball rolling on a friend of mine named michele, heading to kenya with me, and i'm excited to see who else he brings. who knows what he's up to - but it's always GREAT THINGS!!

as always, i covet your prayer support as i get ready to leave in the next few months, and i'll keep you all posted on my plans and adventures.

love ya!

(depositing the check for my plane ticket)

wisdom from a friend: rise up

2008-08-13T10:53:00.000-07:00

my friend rebecca posted a new blog that i wanted to share. check it out.

rise up.

doggy daycare

2008-08-05T12:51:00.000-07:00

so our old roommate breann has a lil puppy named summit. shortly after she adopted him from a shelter, he was hit by a car and needed surgery for a fractured hip. poor lil guy has been recovering for a month or so, and so when breanne had to head back to idaho, we decided lil summit needed to stay with us for 3 weeks to finish his physical therapy while she went back to idaho to be a guide for a river rafting trip down the salmon river.

shauna and i have a laugh or two everyday about the little nerd. he is on our heels and whines if we shut any door on him... even to use the restroom. he also barks up a storm if we leave him in the backyard, so we have to keep him at the kennel during the day while we're at work... goodness it's a chore - although a histerical one.

bedtime is a bit comical as he sleeps on his bed in a corner of my new room, but can't seem to get to sleep for about 15 minutes after i close the door at night... he crawls around under my bed (checking for monsters i'm guessing), jumps up at the door as if someone on the other side is ready to spring him free of his prison, and only after my growling "summit... go lay down" about 5 times does he actually lay down and whine for another 5 minutes until he accepts that he must now actually go to sleep. man... he's a chore for sure. probably like most kids though, fighting bedtime at any cost...he sure does look like an angel when he's asleep though.

shauna and i laugh about feeling like the parents of a handicapped child... he just requires so much TLC. we love him, but as all aunties, we'll be happy to send him home with his mom in a couple weeks when she gets back. :)

backstube austrian bakery

2008-08-01T11:25:00.000-07:00

i have recently been obsessed with a little austrian bakery cafe that's been in reno for years and years, but that i never was aware of. my sister took me there a couple months ago, and recently i returned to backstube's tasty goodness, convincing friends and coworkers alike, to join me for lunch. it gave me an excuse to have their AMAZING chicken salad which just - honestly! - rocks my world.

light but filling, and oh so beautifully arranged on whatever china they have, their food is amazing and the owners and staff are so friendly and helpful. their specialty is austrian pastries of all kinds, from the decadent cakes to light and fluffy eclairs... but don't let their baked goods fool you into thinking they can't make a mean lunch.

the lunch menu printed on one 8 1/2 x 11 laminated page of stationery, packs a mouthful of taste for its few specialties. soups, salads, sandwiches and a store full of desserts await your palette if you're in the mood for a mouthful of tasty goodness that is seldom rivaled in the visual and culinary quisine usually found in mom and pop places.

check it out... you won't be disappointed.

old house new house

2008-07-31T08:28:00.000-07:00

so about two months ago i moved from living with the sisters to living with some good friends of mine. shauna, breann and joy. breann is moving out in a couple days, so we're downsizing from a charming (and huge) older home in northwest reno...

...to a smaller home a mile or two away. we're getting a great deal on rent and the house is just so perfect for what we need... three bedrooms, a large living area and kitchen, a little backyard, and a covered patio with super cute patio furniture. we're so excited!!!

last night shauna and i and joy went over and dropped off our first loads of stuff. we (i) squealed when our keys opened the door, and we picked out our rooms, too. after dropping off our first load of boxes, we prayed over our new place. just the three of us in a lil "holy huddle" of sorts, giving God our new home and asking him to use it for his glory.

tonight the intense moving starts, and then tomorrow we clean our old house so the five college girls moving in, can do so. :) more to come...

mr. big mac makes a move

2008-07-28T12:51:00.000-07:00

i went to run an errand today on my lunch break, and got done a bit early. i decided to grab a quick bite to eat at mcdonalds. little did i know this fast food visit would be blog-worthy.

upon walking in, a goodlooking hispanic man (i will call him Mr. Big Mac) raised his eyebrows and checked me out as i walked past his table. now, mind you a girl has her "i look good and i know it" days, and let me just say today was one of mine... cute white sandals, cute white summer skirt, and even cuter polka-dot layered top with adorable earrings and sunglasses.

i felt good, and i knew why he was lookin... nothing causes more head-turns than a woman confident in her beauty.

(yeah... that's right. ms. humility herself, right here... mmhmmm)

so Mr. Big Mac eyes me as i walk to the counter and i just smile to myself as i go about ordering my lunch.

i got my drink cup and walked around another customer over to the beverage station where i would be getting my cup of liquid sugar sodapop to eat with my carefully thrown together heart attack hamburger and quadruple bypass french fries. out of the corner of my eye i saw some movement.

Mr. Big Mac had decided to make a move.

he glanced my way and started briskly walking towards me, not even seeing the lady customer he was about to collide with. his chest hit her elbow, and his eyes jerked from me in surprise as her empty drink cup flew into the air and she let out a muffled gasp.

moment ruined. any would-be-smooth lines tarnished by the collision, he gave me an embarrassed smile, apologized to the woman he collided with, and walked out the door.

i was trying not to laugh out loud, both flattered by his attentiveness that ended up in a collision with another patron, and sorry for the blow to his pride. as i put the lid on my drink and turned around, i saw two college guys snickering in line as they averted their eyes from Mr. Big Mac walking out the door.

at that point i really DID let out a little laugh on the trek to my table...

poor Mr. Big Mac. better luck next time.

forgive and forget? i think not

2008-07-26T22:26:00.000-07:00

forgive and forget is the lamest relational advice i've ever heard.

when someone wounds you, it can sink into your being and hurt you so deeply you convince yourself it's better just to go crawl in a hole than face a world of people who could possibly wound you further.

we have all experienced it... perhaps that person spreading a rumor that degrades your character with lies, or a friend who shares a secret with one person and that secret snowballs beyond their control as it spreads from person to person. maybe it was a relationship you had with someone that ended in unrest, and restoration and closure are sorely needed but you don't know how to go about that dreaded conversation.

all of these are legitimate and very real wounds that we wittingly or unwittingly inflict upon each other. some wounds are accidental or unintentional, but just the same, they cannot be forgotten... and i don't believe God wants his children to "forgive and forget" as we have often been taught.

"forgiveness is accepting the consequences of someone else's sin."

forgiveness is biblical, healthy, and (most importantly) Christlike... but saying i forgive you, and then forcing yourself to forget that someone in your life is proned to hurt you or wound you in a certain way that could perhaps become a pattern in your friendship or relationship, is not biblical or healthy - and i daresay, it is impossible. the wounds others inflict on us usually hit us where it hurts... deeply. we need to be aware of, and cautious of, those people who have hurt us in the past, and could possibly hurt us in the future as well. while forgiving them of their past wounds, that doesn't mean we lower our shield (so to speak) when we see their arrow flying at us, only to willingly allow them to hurt us yet again.

even when that arrow flies towards us though, it isn't reason enough to give up. being in a relationship means you work through the rough parts... and in every relationship you will find fault and sin. be willing to trust, and willing to listen and forgive even when the going gets rough and boundaries have to be made.

say a loved one blabs private areas of your life to someone else... saying "i don't feel comfortable talking about this issue with you yet" with someone who abuses your inclusion of them into that part of your life, is a very healthy way to handle the situation. keep them included in areas of your life, and acknowledge that they are very important to you still even though they've hurt you, but let them into areas of your life that they can't abuse...or that aren't so personal and risky for you to share, knowing their past history of indiscretion.

as an adult i try so hard to have healthy relationships with open communication and mutual trust. when i am frustrated or offended, i usually pray about how to share my feelings, and then speak with the person who has offended me as quickly as possible - and usually within hours of the offense. there is this other thing i have learned is my forte though, and i have to remind myself to avoid at all costs. it is the manipulative teaser line: "you hurt my feelings. i can't really explain it right now though... i need some time to think about it."

what the CRAP is that all about? where did i learn to so expertly manipulate guilt in someone? i think of the times people have done that to me, and flinch just thinking of how sick to my stomach i've gotten thinking it might be days of relational limbo before someone chose to tell me of my offense so i could apologize and ask forgiveness. oh the manipulative things we can do to try and hold another person's sin over their head as long as possible... it hurts me inside to relive those times of immaturity and feigned forgiveness.

the most important thing i would say about conflict management in relationships is this:

when you feel someone has wounded you, tell them immediately. waiting until someone asks you what's wrong, or even until it's "the right time" is usually always our way of delaying the inevitable confrontationally risky conversation where we have to be vulnerable with someone. even when we think we're hiding our emotions like a pro, we aren't. people notice the change in us, and we are harming not only ourselves, but also the people we feel have wronged us. speak up... don't shut down. the longer we are silent, the more it takes to gain back that trust and close communication... and sometimes the damage can be irreparable.

"unforgiveness is a poison we drink, expecting someone else to die."

plane ticket to africa

2008-07-20T22:46:00.000-07:00

a week ago today my mom called me and told me she and my dad would like to purchase a plane ticket for me to go to visit kitale, kenya, where my friend daniel started the non profit Transformed International.

a week ago today, my world stood still.

when i could comprehend what my mom was saying, my response was of course a very eloquent "uh.. did you just say you're buying me a plane ticket to kenya?"

needless to say, my last week has been a whirlwind trying to find out when i can go and what preparations need to be made if i spend around a month in africa between november and february.

i could fill up pages of thoughts and feelings and questions right now, but they'll all work themselves out. an incredible adventure was just handed to me, and i can't wait to see what God has planned.

uh... i'm going to africa.

shut yur face!

fount of mercy

2008-07-18T08:55:00.001-07:00

cry on my shoulder
Originally uploaded by hopiface

the above picture took my breath away.

my friend rebecca recently returned from a two week mission trip to africa. she took a few of her church youth to serve with fount of mercy, a non-profit organization associated with golden gate baptist theological seminary.

in her time there, rebecca's heart for missions and the third world has been renewed. i'm sure she'll have a blog about africa up soon, so visit rebeccashaevitz.blogspot.com if you'd like to check it out.

my sparks idol video

2008-07-05T20:00:00.000-07:00

hello everybody...

a ton of you have been dying to see the video of the sparks idol contest i was in on july 4th, so here it is. i didn't win the competition, but man was it a blast. it was the first time i've ever sung to an audience other than family, friends, or church... and MAN was it ever fun. i was nervous until i got on stage, and then it was all good. i looked at the crowd of 500ish and thought "my church audience is bigger than this... piece of cake!"

i hope you enjoy it... and thanks to everyone who stopped by to watch me compete. it wouldn't have been nearly as special without you all there.

the performance shirt

2008-07-03T11:26:00.000-07:00

so i had a dilemma this week... what do i wear when performing on stage in the blistering heat, if i have not the desire (nor the body) to be half naked in a britney spears-esque sequined bathing suit top with short shorts and heels?

answer: head to the ross clearance racks!

this is the shirt i bought for my performance. it's romantic and girly and breezy... just what i was looking for!

sparks idol competition

2008-07-02T09:11:00.000-07:00

i auditioned, and i made it through the cuts.

i am performing in the Sparks Idol competition, here in Reno, NV on July 4th.

i'll be singing Bless the Broken Road, by rascal flatts and i'm so excited i can't contain myself. it's two days away, and i have to purchase the perfect outfit for it... i already highlighted my hair and according to... well, everyone... it's super gorgeous so that makes me happy.

honestly i don't know how everything will work that day, but i'll keep everyone posted. it'll be a long, hot day in the sun but i'm so thrilled that i get to be a part of it.

hopefully i'll have a video of my performance to post afterwards!

surprise visitor

2008-06-29T22:59:00.000-07:00

sushi with three of his four sisters

it was a surprise for mom and dad... the plan was to celebrate father's day a week late after mom and dad got back from their vacation, and bill would be at the dinner we had for dad. well it was a suprise alright... there was laughing and crying and looooots of hugging.

bill spent two weeks here in town with the family on leave from the navy... soon he leaves for virginia again, and we won't see him for a long time. we had alot of fun while he was here though. we took pictures, spent time together, laughed and talked about family life, and celebrated the return of "our navy man" as mom and dad like to say.

bill has changed in so many ways... he truly is grown up now, and learning alot about what it's like to live life with all the responsibilities and consequences of being an adult and making your own decisions... as we all are. i am really proud of him, and was so thrilled to have him back for a couple weeks. he spoiled us sisters rotten whenever he got the chance, taking us to sushi and pedicures, and even just sitting around at home, we just loved laughing with him again.

spider attack

2008-06-18T08:54:00.000-07:00

i HATE spiders.

no really... i loathe them. theyre creepy and crawly and creepycrawly just does not mix with my dna (that would be female dna in general).

that said, i had quite the horrifying experience last night. picture if you will...

i'm laying in bed at 11pm after a lovely talk with my roommate, and just sending out some last text messages before i head off to dreamland, and something tickled my arm. it was so light, i thought it might be my hair, so i shifted my arm. a few seconds later, i felt it again, so i went to grab my hair and move it. imagine my surprise when i grabbed something alive and moving, instead of a few strands of limp hair!!

yep... that's right. you guessed it. SPIDER! no no, my friends - that is not the end of the story. in shock, i quickly sat up (which KILLED my back) and looked down at my bed...a half dead spider the size of a nickel was scurrying under my unused pillows on the other side of my bed. thats right! apparently he thought my awareness of him was an invitation to share my bed. ugh. you know, given the opportunity, i can think of a few OTHER people i'd like to share my bed with that are.. you know.. HUMAN (aka: NOT ARACHNIDS!)so i leaned over to my nightstand (which ALSO killed my back) and grabbed my empty eye glass case. wielding it at the top of the pillowcase, up on my knees and half naked, i realized this was a very vulnerable situation for the spiders to put me in, and the resentment just fiiiiilled me.

too scared to lift the pillowcase and perhaps find the spider in the same vacinity as the hand i would use to lift the pillow, i was debating my next course of action. he was probably lying in wait for my tasty little finger. ugh. oh the frenzy i can work myself into, in five short seconds. little did i know, the eight legged freak had invited a friend... a much larger friend! so about the time i wielded my eye glass case, should the injured spider venture out from underneath, his spider friend crawled up the other side of the pillow and just sat there, staring me down.

now friends... consider my predicament. on my knees, on my bed, with a spider under the pillow and a spider on top of the pillow. i warred on whether to swat the big uninjured on away or just smush him violently into the fabric of pillow, simply to be rid of him. i think he sensed my unyielding spirit and his following demise, because he leapt off the pillow onto my bed, and retreated under my covers.

at this point, i was so horrified i just threw my covers off my bed, and without giving it a second thought, smashed the lil creepo!

now, i was quite happy with the turn of events until i realized he had a motive to what i thought was his death retreat. that spider elicited a tiny pang in my heart, as i thought "oh noooo" and quickly turned over the pillow where his wounded friend was supposedly hiding.

thats right, folks... lil martyr sacrificed his life so his wounded friend could escape. well, i assure you if his friend makes a comeback, martyrdom or no, i've had some battlefield training now and i will not be so easily surprised from here on... KILL KILL KILL!!

the little things in life

2008-05-05T23:21:00.000-07:00

i am so thankful for the little things in life.

i wake up in the morning, and grab my phone to shut off the obnoxious ode to joy that breaks my peaceful slumber, and glare with fuzzy eyes at the little blob of silver in my hand. if i didnt love my phone so much, i'd chuck it against the wall just to sleep a bit longer. alas, i slide it open, and to my delight have 15 text messages from late night friends saying goodmorning to me at 1am, probably knowing i'll get it when i wake up, or facebook status updates from friends already awake and notifying me of their hatred for early mornings. i love those friends... we understand each other so well. those text messages bring me joy. i am loved.

i stumble into the bathroom and wait silently for faith to spit out her toothpaste and relinquish the bathroom to me. she perkily glances at me and obnoxiously saunters by, and smiles, knowing if i had a voice i'd say "i hate everyone". i shut the door behind her and strip. the shower wakes me up, and i am thankful for my hard water, and i breathe in the smell of my oatmeal honey body wash that smells like shauna mccarthy's famous cookies. shauna mccarthy's cookies are joy joy joy down in my heart.

alive and ready to enter the world, i shove contacts into my eyes and the hazy world outside my shower doors comes into focus... ah the foggy mirror. and what's this? faith has left me a note in the foggy mirror... or did i leave that for her last week? no matter, it says "i love you" and i smile, because who doesnt want to hear THAT in the morning? joy joy JOOOOOY.

dressed and blowdried and powdered, i walk to the car with my lunch and purse in one hand, and my cell phone and sunglasses in the other. we drive away from the apartment complex and i buckle up, anticipating the morning terror. as we exit the parking lot, faith's cell phone starts: "bling bling bling bling". all her text messages are coming in, and as soon as they do, she leaps for her phone sitting in the door handle, and the steering wheel follows her sharply to the left. after screaming as we nearly collide - for the 900th time this year - with the median in the winding mountain road, i breathe out and release my grip on the roof handle as we pause for a few minutes at the stop sign. the stop sign... it brings me joy. so much joy. off we go to the freeway where life is safer at 70mph in snow, than at 10mph with faith texting.

at work my boss walks in all smiley on her morning starbucks high, and asks me how my night went. i give her the 30 second update, and she makes me smile with her sarcastic comments about my "wild" nights of late night starbucks runs and movies... i'd put her up against your boss anyday. i set my purse in my bottom desk drawer, and turn my cell phone to silent as i put it on my desk. the office phones start ringing, and i smile as i hear "hello hope speaking, this is autumn speaking" and i say hello to my lovely best friend who can't wait to tell me the newest joy of married life and the "most wonderful husband on the planet". autumn... she brings me joy.

my phone flashes, and i see more texts coming in. i smile again as i realize my friends obviously cannot face their day without hearing from me. i feel so special. oh the witnessing of oneanother's lives via text message... its complicated, but effective if you are attached to your cell phone all day. "missing you" texts... they bring me joy.

my day flies by after a lunch date with friends, and an afternoon of phones and emails, and i glance at my phone a few times before i see "here" and i run down to faith's car and slide in. we've talk and realize we've both had a good day, but if id was sad, she'd know. faith always knows when i need something sparkly in a pretty glass. for now we decide the dinner menu, and what movie we'll watch, and i hear her pretty little giggles as she tells me what she learned about the Lord today, and i think to myself "faith... faith brings me joy."

prologue to my future book? we'll see..

2008-04-02T17:39:00.000-07:00

Future Book Title: Then Sings My Soul

Prologue
I grew up in a family of six kids. That’s right, you read correctly. That would be one more than five, and one less than seven, and it equaled chaos. Life was never quiet with six of us running around our house and yard screaming and playing like a bunch of banshees. My poor parents – Lord only knows what the neighbors thought of them. Even with the perpetual zoo atmosphere, my childhood had a peaceful quality to it that few people I’ve ever met have experienced. I never doubted that I was loved or cared for, not once in my life. As far back as I remember, I felt precious and loved. That love was most commonly demonstrated in the arms of my parents. Their arms were open, and I knew I could count on their love and support no matter what life had for me. As a child, my family was my world, and my world was everything I could’ve wanted.
Some of my earliest memories of childhood include the hustle and bustle of the Sunday morning church routine. Dozing in and out of sleep to the smell of Dad’s coffee percolating on the stove, and Mom singing hymns in the shower, I knew my day was about to start. A little while later Mom would open my bedroom door and flip on the light switch in the room I shared with my three sisters. Quickly, we’d throw our blankets over our heads trying to halt the blinding brightness from those obnoxious light bulbs. Even with Mom’s mild threats to remove our warm covers, we still found it hard to get motivated. After all, it was our duty as children to wait to obey her until the very moment we knew her voice changed from patient Mom to feisty landlord bent on evicting some lazy tennants. We’d get her right to that teetering balance, and – Super Dad to her rescue.
Up and already doing his morning devotions, Dad would usually chuckle to himself as he got his coffee and turned on the house radio. Turning it up loud enough for us to hear, he would go back to his devotions at the kitchen table as the radio chimed the familiar opening tunes of “Adventures in Odyssey”. It was all over, and we all knew it. The parental unit had won, and we the children were defeated again. Could it be that those story writers knew just how to manipulate our imaginations into a state where the newest adventure of Mr. Whittaker and the gang was more important than another half hour of sleep? It was a conspiracy between the writers and our parents – we were sure of it. It wasn’t long after that, though, and we’d be brushing our teeth around the radio, not wanting to miss a single word.
Being a kid, you don’t realize how things as simple as the Sunday morning routine shape you for the future, or what priceless lessons you are being taught. Through the years, I remember running to Mom with countless sibling rivalries and hearing her say, “ask her into your room.” That was just short for “I’m not getting involved, so you’re going to have to work this one out between the two of you.” All we wanted was for her to tell us which was right, and which was wrong, but when she said that, we would eye each other in dread at the upcoming debate. In our frustration we would argue our different sides of the issue until we were so exhausted we’d pretend to “make up” just to end the conversation. Walking out of the room, we’d find Mom ready with her next question. “Have you forgiven each other?” How did she always know? We’d look at each other, and yet again attitudes would flare as we were ushered back to a private place to resolve things with – hopefully -more maturity the second time around. It didn’t always work, but she gave it her all and that’s what counts.
As an adult I often think of my childhood and the moments that shaped me into the woman I am today. The lessons I learned and the biblical foundations that my parents built in my heart at a young age, have spurred me towards a God whom I trust desires only the best for his children. To see evidence of his provision and grace at work in my life and my relationships has brought me more happiness than I can ever express, as well as a sincere appreciation for my parents’ desire to cultivate in each of their children a hunger for a relationship with Christ. As I share with you some of my stories, and hopefully some useful insight, I pray that I could accurately – and at times, humorously - convey a glimpse of a Savior who I believe has proven himself to be infinitely loving, and extravagantly gracious to all who call him Lord.

mongolian alligators

2008-03-06T07:31:00.000-08:00

soon and very soon i will post something significant for you all to read about my life and how i'm doing...but for now, enjoy this video my friend sara recorded.

some will find it fun, and some won't care less, but i guarantee everyone will stop to wonder "what the -!-".

enjoy!

oh... i will walk if i have to

2008-02-13T10:59:00.000-08:00

i am determined to get to vegas tomorrow even if i have to WALK! grrr

last year i tried to fly out, and my plane flight was cancelled because it snowed. i waited and waited hoping it would clear up, but it didn't...i was broken hearted. no best friend, no plane flight, no fun times - and three hours of my life that i will never get back, because i spent it waiting at the airport.

it was so tragic.

::insert loathing glare at the skies, here::

hello world

2008-02-11T21:05:00.000-08:00

hello world. it's me. you ready?

here we go.

you're still not ready, are you?

it's okay...i'll give you some time to adjust to the new order.

so deceptive

2007-11-30T16:16:00.000-08:00

i have a story to tell...

i love watching television. i really do. nothing can be as relaxing and fun as sitting down with a lovely group of people and watching a movie. the thing is...i rarely - and i do mean rarely - watch cable television or commercials.

that said...i did watch television with commercials about the "must haves" of the season. you know the ones - phones, ipods, clothing, boyfriends and girlfriends, cars, fancy dinners, and a white picket fence surrounded by obsolete credit card bills because there is no financing for 5 years - yes, you know the "must haves" of the season as well. little did i know how much the three hours i enjoyed watching a couple days of shows at friends' homes would affect my life!

last night i realized i was severely depressed and i had no idea why. i talked to my lovely friend sara, and although she tried to cheer me up, i just wasn't having it. there was something missing in my life and i couldn't put my finger on it. i had no idea the depth of my confusion. although many people tried to cheer me up, i was in a funk that i didn't know how to escape from. i thought every relationship i had was meaningless, and was discontent with everything in my life...i just couldn't tell ya why.

yeah...weird, i know!

this morning i woke up with a sore throat, and realized i would pretty much die if i was was sick and depressed. when i'm sick, i'm needy and whiny and combining that with depression is probably not a good thing. i called my sister autumn and we tried to figure out what was wrong with me. in talking it out with her, i realized that my depression went back to my discontentment, that went back to my feeling as if i was not measuring up to life, and that went back to my three hours of being brainwashed by the commercials on television that led me to believe i was ugly, poor, naked, alone and inconsequential unless i had everything they were selling...

i experienced such extreme loneliness in a few hours, i don't even think i can explain it in severe enough words...and the weird thing is, i was in the midst of a crowd of people.

that's bad.

this might seem trivial to some of you, because you are acclimated to the current media situation on television, but lemme tell ya - i wish you could experience my 24 hour depression if for no other reason than to realize how carefree life is without feeling like you're falling short everyday or "needing" things that you never even knew existed, two minutes before.

i am now content with life thanks to the love and concern of dear friends who love on me and help me get rid of lies i can so easily believe, but man ya'll...it was a rough 24 hours.

to sara who listened, the lips who let me be moody, syd who encouraged, autumn who forgave me, and andrew who brought me a white mocha in the pouring snowiness...you all are fantastic friends with amazing hearts! life wouldnt be the same without you....

lesson learned...now i'll go back to living

i've come to realize

2007-09-28T16:16:00.000-07:00

i've come to realize that when i talk i am almost always verbally processing my thoughts. when I do, i feel like i'm including others in the workings of my mind – and thus including them in my life by being vulnerable with them.

i've come to realize that i love my life just as it is, and when i do that i am satisfied instead of always wanting more.

i've come to realize that i have so many relational issues i am tempted to become a hermit in the mountains.

i've come to realize that i lost respect for christianity in general this year. i now tend to respect people rather than the organization of a church itself. a church is founded on the morals and the principals of its people...therefore if i do not respect the people, i can not respect their version of christianity.

i've come to realize that i have a crush on clark kent.

i've come to realize that i hate it when people decide not to invest in friendships just because of geographic distance. if you invest, do it 100%...dont do it half heartedly, because people notice...and then they feel insignificant.

i've come to realize that marriage is not a bandaid for pain, and children are not a bandaid for marriage.

i've come to realize that somewhere someone is thinking "i wonder if anyone understands what i'm going through"...and no one is answering that person.

i've come to realize that i'll always be emotionally charged and rationally challenged.

i've come to realize that i get on myspace because i want to know how the people i love are doing...if i didnt have that option, i'd have a hecka large phone bill.

i've come to realize that today i will be working until 5...no matter how much i daydream about going home early.

i've come to realize that tonight i will watch a movie and hug my sisters...and i love them more than anything.

i've come to realize that tomorrow i will want to take a road trip, but i wont be able to because my car would explode at the top of the mountain.

i've come to realize that i really want to experience selflessness in my relationship with "the one" ...because i dont know what that will look like in my life someday with him.

i've come to realize that at times i enable others in their sin when my motive is simply to comfort and encourage growth. that tears me up inside.

i've come to realize that the last time i truly cried was when i had to "let go" of a relationship that is precious to me.

i've come to realize that my cell phone is old, but i dont need a new one just because i think there are cooler ones out there.

i've come to realize that when i wake up in the morning i am not in the mood to invest or talk or relate to anyone...and thats okay. i dont have to force myself to chat at 7am like ive thought was always nice and polite.

i've come to realize that before i go to sleep at night i should pray for my future husband.

i've come to realize that right now i am thinking about how differently i wouldve answered these questions a few months ago.

and on the seventh day she rested

2007-06-02T16:15:00.000-07:00

last saturday i started moving...this saturday i officially can rest.

saturday to saturday was one LONG time to move. it was really convenient to have the new apartment while moving things from the old house, though. paying a couple hundred dollars to move in a few days before the first was a great idea - props to faithie for that one.

the old house is clean and now being moved into by our landlord's cousin. i hope she likes it...we have a lot of good memories in that place. crusade fourth of july parties; worship nights; cuddle dates on couches with best friends; my sister autumn getting engaged and married ; me burning water on the stove and having to throw away the pot i burnt to a crisp; huge spiders in the shower; being two streets away from the best friends; walking to the farmers market; hot august nights parades; the dairy queen (need i say more?)...there are just priceless memories stored up in that house. i suppose the backup file is in my brain, though. now there are new memories to make in our apartment - most of which will take place in the pool and hot tub, i am sure. :)

the new apartment is beautiful. the only bad thing is lack of cell service, but hopefully theyll put up a cell tower on one of the mountains soon. my room is beautiful. i had to figure out my decorating scheme all over again, and since i have a new queen sized bed (that my feet dont hang off the end of) i had to go buy a new bedset. it was so fun picking it out...i love decorating. im not sure about the picture above my bed, or what i should do with the huge white wall. hmmmmm. any suggestions, yall?

well the only thing hanging around from moving is the back pain that i gave myself from lifting and bending over so many times a day for a week straight. its painful, but i have a hot tub to sit in, so there are blessings to this lil give and take of moving. ive also managed to get to the 24 hr fitness center a few times in the last couple days. its sooooo convenient. when it's a minute walk away, i cant justify sitting on my bum and watching a movie when i could head down the hill and work out while watching a tv show. sweet, huh? yep...and my new bathing suit will look amazing after a couple months of that, too. woo hoo.

im going to davis creek campground today. its my reward for being so buff and working so hard (with only minimal whining). autumn and lukie and joy and i are all going pollywog hunting and we're going to have lunch in the mountains...it will be fun. im sure ill have pictures a lil later for ya, too. i havent been to davis creek in so long...i am excited.

on that note, i took joy to work this morning. its 5:20 a.m.

when is the last time i was up before 6:45? i have no idea...but i know in sydneys head there's a lil warning going off in her brain that says "something is not right in the world". so many times she tried to get me up before 8 on the weekends...didnt work, though. im tellin ya...i never get up before 7am. 'specially not on a saturday. this is one for the record books. :) haha...joanna would be proud...and rebecca feels my pain. we are the sleeper-inners, lol. been that way since eteam...i dont know that it will change anytime soon. i hope to God not...there are few things in this world greater than a late night of fun and a full 8 hours of sleep as a chaser.

well...ta ta for now. i am going to drive home from the kietzke buck, and watch the sunrise...

a hair on my arm

2007-05-20T16:14:00.000-07:00

about a year ago sydney and i were sitting in her truck and talking when she reached over and RIPPED a hair out of my arm. well i looked over this afternoon at my arms while wearing my tank top, and realized there is a GIGANTOR black hair on my arm right below my shoulder! its just kickin it as the lone black hair on my arm. i'd like to state my chagrin that any person who claims to be my friend would willingly rip a normal blond hair out of my arm that would by default become an abnormal BLACK hair that i have to flippin pluck for the rest of my life. let this be a lesson to you - stay away from sydney, she's a hair plucker! awkard, my sydney friend...awkward.

so i went to house church today...i was told my spiritual gift was not mercy, but rather exhortation. i thought that was pretty interesting, because i am totally a mercy at the very core of who i am, but in a certain sense, i think the man was right. in the last couple years i have definitely been cultivating my lesser gift of exhortation (and occasionally learning how NOT to use it, lol). when talking to friends and acquaintances about life and giving them advice and stuff, the shepherd in me has definitely come out. granted, i have found a balance in investing both comfort aaaand guidance in these situations, but its interesting to me that in different phases of life our gifts can change so much. like we learn this cool balance, as life goes on and Christ reveals more to us about his perfect design within each of us...and as we mature in our walks with God, too. :)

for instance...sydney and i were talking yesterday, and after explaining how i was feeling about a relationship that was on my heart, she reminded me that i tend to feel things to the extreme when it comes to relational issues...i ALWAYS feel things to the extreme, and i tend to take things soooo personally. almost like i willingly throw myself into the preverbial emotional pot of scalding water, when really i should just chill in the hot tub for a bit until i am at a point rationally where i can acknowledge that i know things happen for a reason, and it's not the end of the world (for this i am thankful...it helps to have a sister like her who'll occasionally gently remind me of my weaknesses when i feel like i'm headed off the deep end, lol. she has a habit of bringing me back to earth, and reality).

but you know what? it hit me that im totally okay with the occasional preverbial emotional pot of scalding water - when i hit that water, most of the time it serves as a wake up call for me...kinda like "hey hope...remember when you used to live in this hellish relational state 24/7? remember when you used to let peoples' views of you run your life? this isnt you anymore...remember the truths Christ has taught you about this...remember the experiences youve gone through that have shown you this is the unhealthy way to handle this situation!" and then i see how far Christ has taken me...sometimes even without my knowledge. i can refocus and get back to reality instead of the emotional limbo that i so superbly get myself into sometimes.

all this to say that i love how i can look back on the last few years of my life and notice a change...notice where Christ has been at work...notice the healthy friendships ive made, and times when the Lord has affirmed to me the calling he has given me...and expecially when i can see where my failures and my stupid insecurities can now be given to him freely with no expectations of the future...just a peace that he is in control, and he is constantly teaching and molding and guiding me even in this misfit lil mind of mine.

i truly believe i amuse him...really. he just just sits up there on his throne and laughs.

"i am NOT saying thank you!"

2007-04-29T16:13:00.000-07:00

my mom and dad...oh man! i stopped by their house tonight, pretty late. they were getting ready for bed, and i jumped up onto the middle of their bed with them and we chatted for a long time...just about life and our days today. mom and dad have a "date day" once a week where they have an adventurous day together, just the two of them. apparently dad hiked down a cliff to get to a prime fishing location at the lake when he was supposed to be hangin with his woman on the beach. well...since my mom wasnt about to hike down the hill like he did, she got all pouty after being left alone reading a book in the car for two hours. my dad wasnt too smooth in the date area today i guess.

well, dad apparently wised up to the fact that he made a big mistake by leaving her in the car while he fished, and he tried to make up for it by buying her a peach milkshake at an ice cream stand. now he knew he was wrong, and although my mom accepted his peace offering she still pouted and she didnt tell him thank you. believe it or not, the fact that she didnt thank him just ate him alive...it was like they wouldnt be okay again until she said "thank you" for her milkshake.

now by the time i heard the story, they were laughing and smiling about it, but my mom was still pouting in her own super cute lil way. i told her she needed to say "thank you".

"i am NOT saying thank you!" she said. "he left me alone for hours in a hot van when we were supposed to be cuddling on the beach!"

the idiocy of the situation, and also the adorable way she was pouting at my dad laying on his back with his hands crossed over his chest pretending to fall asleep was just too much. i looked from one to the other and just started laughing SO HARD. my dad was stunned and looked at me and to my mom, and then they both just busted up as well. we were laughing so hard after a few seconds that i had tears in my eyes.

"now mom," i said, "say 'thank you' to dad...he tried to make peace with the milkshake. he did what he could."

"fine!" mom said, relinquishing control, "thank you for my peachy milkshake."

my dad looked at her, and stifled another smirk as he realized his plan for peace had succeeded. all was well again in the world. "youre welcome," he said as he relaxed again, "and next time we go fishing i wont do it on our date day unless its from the beach, with you."

i just rested my head on my pillow looking at the both of them. it was home...only with a twist - isnt it fun when the children become the parents? ;o)

there are no shortcuts...

2007-02-28T16:13:00.000-08:00

when asked about why it hurts so much to love and lose awhile back, i had a thought. i forgot about it until i was reminded today:

there are no shortcuts in life or love. pain must be felt. the alternative is much worse. loving so intensely, and yes feeling such terror upon the thought or reality that something we invested every ounce of ourselves in could be torn away in an instant - it's what makes us unique above all else in this world...our capacity to love. with that sometimes comes the pain of remembering ...of feeling how deeply and intensely we love, or have loved...and the heartbroken, desperate response to the knowledge that something so innately pure and beautiful can be twisted in an instant by so many things that could destroy it at every turn. but that pain...that pain is accompanied by something else...hope.

with pain comes hope. somewhere between agony, optimism and prayer we stand at times in an apathetic despair at the crossroads...not knowing which path is the one to take, or if we would oneday have the strength to take a step towards one of the many roads that stretch before us. the knowledge that even though many people surround us, there is a loneliness and an ache that just won't recede for the memory of something that once was.

when we feel that pain...when we come to a place where we can acknowledge that we have experienced true joy, and with that joy, the deepest pain...it is in that moment that we are never more aware of our humanity and our vulnerability. that is the purest of distinctions in life and love...awareness.

the simple distinction that to feel - no matter what we feel - is to be alive; to be alive is to grow towards maturity, acknowledging that we are never finished learning, and will never have all the answers.

that is the beauty of humanity. that is the beauty of our creator.

driving in the rain

2007-02-11T16:12:00.000-08:00

i took a drive in the rain tonight.

i got on the freeway to drive home from the store, and it was pouring rain. i mean a DOWNPOUR. i was fascinated by the silence that occurred when i went under a bridge - when the sound of the rain on my roof broke for maybe a second, and there was nothing but peace and quiet... and then a second later that tranquility was broken by the thunder of the rain on my roof again when i left that dry little area under the bridge.

i got to thinking about humanity, and christianity and what it must be like to be a person who doesnt know the Lord, and be in that perpetual "rain" all the time...to hear the thunder of the rain on the rooftops nonstop...to be pounded by it relentlessly, and to feel so alone and confused with blurred vision and nonsensical ideas and philosophies about life that lead to no peace or comfort from the relentlessness of the storm.

to be a Christian is not to be protected from that storm or from the stinging pelting of the rain, as some would teach. rather, it is to know that there are times along the road of life where the sound of the rain attacking our rooftop is so loud that we think we cant take anymore, and we think opening the door and letting in the stinging rain would be better it just to escape the noisy conflict of metal and tempest.

at those moments we think the car, or our spirit on this narrow road will be crushed...those seem to be the times we enter the peace and the silence of a God ordained time to rest under those perpetual bridges that Christ sets along our way. they are times to rest and refresh; times to realize there is more to life than the storm around us; times to be reminded that God has oh so much more in store for us when the sun comes out again, and we see through the mist the growth that occurred from the rain.

just some thoughts from my night...have a good weekend, yall.

simple truth ~ lasting change

2007-02-06T16:09:00.000-08:00

well, i said my "love you...see you in august" goodbye to a friend this last week after she came to visit reno before leaving on a six month adventure to india. i thought it would be harder to say goodbye than it was, and for awhile after she left it perplexed me. not so much perplexed by the goodbye, as the lack of visible outward emotion behind it, you know? like more of asking myself "uh...most other times youve broken down at these goodbyes. why no tears? why no 'why do you have to go's? are you calloused now and shutting down, or what?" thats kinda what i was asking myself...cuz if you know me, you know im a big ball of emotion and although at times im real good about keeping it check, it usually comes out at one time or another, so i was wondering if i was gonna be on breakdown mode soon, or if something fundamentally different had changed in my way of handling those hard goodbyes.

as i tried to figure out my emotions on the issue, i came to a cool realization. many people have entered my life and left their mark on my heart. when the time comes for them to leave, their exits (whether geographically or emotionally) have been real rough for me to take.

a year ago, i wouldve been in tears at the airport and not wanted to let my friend go (wait, i think that actually happened.. lol ..a few times), but this time...well, i guess it was simple and genuine, and there was no intense desire in me to have her stay. in the past, friends have been excited about new life changes, and moving on to something new and exciting, and rather than be excited with them, my focus was on "how could they abandon me?" rather than on how cool it must be for them to go and experience life and Christ outside of regulare, routine, everyday life.

when i tried to figure out what the difference was, and why i wasnt in tears and brokenhearted at her departure, i realized (haha) that in many ways ive grown up in the last year. my only desire was to know she was passionate about what God wanted her to do, and ready to give her all to make sure she could accomplish it. she would go...she would live for him and serve for him, and she would get a chance to change the world...to do as much as she could for the short time she had to do it in. the thought that it was so important to her that it overruled everything else she could experience or feel in life gave me intense crazy happiness for her.

to realize that Christ's eye is ever on his lil misfit kids, and that those i love are being furiously protected by his unwavering love is a huge comfort for me. theyre not mine to protect or to guard, as much i would like and have tried to do...that task was never given to me. we encourage, we love, we uplift, we confess, we share love and life and experiences and friendships...but these are all under His care. all of these things are his blessings, his grace. i know it seems like a simple truth - and it is - but sometimes the simplest truths in life affect our lives in the greatest ways.

best way to spend a sunday afternoon

2007-02-04T16:06:00.000-08:00

dang...what a day. everything from waking at 6:30 singing on the worship team, to hanging at two different super bowl parties and fixing my car after that! i enjoyed it all though, it was super chill while at the same time being on opposite ends of town at times.

at the cru superbowl party i got to spend some quality time with one of my favorite people in the world. she and i just sat on the porch at the house and talked for hours. i mean...come on people...i know its the superbowl, but who wants to watch a football game when you can share your life and testimony with someone?! spending time encouraging and loving on each other as well as confessing and learning from one another was our mutual interest.

so moral of the story? screw the superbowl. there are more important things to do with an afternoon. for reals...go find someone you love and spend some quality time with them. best way to spend an afternoon ever.

question of the day: have you every had an afternoon such as mine? if so, with who? tell me your stories...

those crazy cru kids

2007-01-23T16:05:00.000-08:00

ever had that group of people or that one person that could make you laugh, make you cry, and jump up and down screaming all at the same time? i have...lemme introduce you to them...

they are the young men and women of reno nevada's campus crusade for Christ. they meet in wrb 1003 at 7:30 each tuesday night of the semester, and you know what makes them so rad?! man do they love the Lord! no joke, people...they love him with everything theyve got...in whatever way they know how...and thats what makes them special. thats what makes my heart jump out of my chest each time is see them worship, or hug, or cry, or comfort one another. they are precious, and unique and so honest.

tonight was the first cru meeting of the semester, and alot of people were hesitant but so excited to come back to school and see everyone again. school sucks, but if you at least know you have a group of friends who are like family to you, and you have somewhere that you feel you belong...well, it makes it so much easier to readjust.

to hear the stories of peoples' breaks, and what they went through - all the joy, pain, tears, road trips, travels, chaos, family fights - it was tough all around. what made it all worth while was to look those same people in the eyes and see their sincerity when they looked around the room and said "i knew itd be another sucky semester with school and all, but i just had to come back...school sucks, but i know i have family here."

yall...this is the bond God has been building here at unr for many years. young men and women find comfort, friendship and family in reno's campus crusade group. it didnt start overnight though...it hasnt been easy by any means.

reno's cru group was the product of many nights spent on bended knee from so many wonderful guys and gals who knew God was up to something on the unr campus. for years the group grew and dwindled, grew and dwindled...but the prayers of the faithful were steady. for the last three years, many have come and gone, but cru has streadily grown. tonight at the first meeting of the semester, we had 70 people there yall!

my whole point for this blog was simply to give a shout out to the men and women who started this ministry on reno's campus and to let them know (should they ever read this) that the time and effort they put into this ministry has been cultivated and from the seeds they planted, a FIELD has grown. the harvest is coming in, and their prayers are being answered. in His timing, God has cultivated many men and women to desire to know him more intimately and more deeply than ever before...its a fire, and its growing.

if one person can change the world for Christ...what can 70 do?

sex and God's supremacy

2007-01-12T16:03:00.000-08:00

so a friend bought me a book for Christmas that ive wanted to read for a real long time - Sex and the Supremacy of Christ.

let me just tell you...it has rocked my world. those books you see about "every young womans battle" or "every young mans battle"? those have NOTHING on this book. john piper explains the biblical premise for why lust, sex, pornography, homosexuality and so many other "taboo" subjects in the church are misused by a misguided generation of christians who have such a craving for it, but dont understand the craving itself...dont understand the roots of the sin...where it comes from and what to do about it.

man its an awesome book, and you have to go buy it! its just so real, so honest and so blunt about the struggles we go through. dont get me wrong - the root of our struggles as young men and women in this generation are no different than our parents and grandparents for generations before us, but lust and impurity and temptation manifest themselves differently for each generation, u know? okay. enough of that...anyways - go buy the book...john piper can explain it way better than me. :o)

if you feel alone in your struggles...ashamed...saddened by hearing testimony after testimony of wonderful people who have been through great trial, but deep down you wonder if anyone else struggles with the same things as you - well then this book is for you. it shuts down any notion of shame or guilt within we who think (or have thought) we are alone, or our struggles are too taboo to confess or to be freed from. it is a book that inspires freedom, new testament church principles, and confession. those are three things we need right now as christians.

i have had some amazing conversations with random people in my life that i never would've thought of talking to about this, and each time Christ speaks truth into my life about the beauty of this thing called "humanity" that we try to wrap our minds around. why is it that we "never think" of talking to those in the body of Christ about these things? we have to...we must! the truth of what we have been set free from must be spoken, in order for freedom to be experienced by our generation.

remember...you are not alone!

for we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. ~ hebrews 4:15